Will This Be on the Test? Transcripts
Hi everybody and welcome to Will This Be On the Test? I'm Mattie.
And we are heading into week two of our quarantine now I've been working from home for over a week. Austin was at home this whole week.
Yes. But I'm back at work on Monday because I am considered essential personnel and that baffles everybody.
Well, that's not what we're here to talk about today. Because everybody's talking about it. We talked about it last week, it'll probably come up again. But we're here to talk about other stuff this week, because I feel like we might need that a little bit.
There's a few things we can talk about. We can talk about how I cannot be any game we've played.
Yeah, our local game shop is doing a 19 games in 19 days thing where you play 90 games 19 days and then you're entered for a $50 gift card and it's on the honor system, but damn it we are honorable people. Yes. So at the exception of one day, we played a game to Gather because on that day it was his DND night which they played via the internet because of, you know, self distancing. I have beaten him at every single came even small world which I learned to play while we were playing.
Yeah, it's not fair. I think she's cheating. But I don't know how.
Yes, because it's super easy to cheat up boggle. Oh god.
You mean like as bobl superpower? You were at 40 points ahead
of me. Oh, I had more than double your words.
Yeah, it was embarrassing. We also decided to start watching. Love is blind on Netflix. Uh huh. Everyone's like, oh my god. There's just human garbage on that show. What's his name like? Barnett Barnett? is the worst.
I love. Barnett is just not who I thought he was. Who did you think he was? He told you exactly who he was sitting there. I'm do shaima do sure Do
you so you've got three women on the hook and they're all talking to each other, you know this, and yet they all still want him is he like a millionaire? I think he's a millionaire. He's
an engineer. He might be a millionaire. But at the same time, we are aware that they twist things and make people look better or worse based on what the producers want. But at the same time, we've got that couple that's what Lauren and
they are. They seem like a perfectly happy normal couple. So I've completely blocked it out of my head, and I can only focus on the shit show. That is Barnett and Amber. Amber. And
poor baby mark. Poor baby. You are
dude Jessica is nothing but red flags. Mark, you gotta run it.
Jessica is our age. We know what you should be looking out for. And it's Jessica.
Yeah. Oh, man. Just Oh, I was like, I like the hair. So up on my neck. It's like, is this something wrong? Is like is a cat in danger. They realize no Jessica was the danger well she is a dog person
and we are cat people we very much are cat people. I am not looking forward to often going back to work this coming week in part because my immune system
sucks. And in part because I've been cleaning and the house is very clean right now
except for the room we're currently in.
Yeah, well we've been kind of ignoring this room.
I think this room has gone through wants me to focus on this weekend like Okay, get this house looking nice because of we are going to be stuck here dammit. We are not sticking here and filth.
I've got my comfy little like mini painting nest where I've been watching DND actual play videos. I have nothing. You have nothing.
I'm working from home still, which I actually kind of like I I've never been one to need to be around people too much. So that hasn't been a problem. But that's you know, I work for eight hours and then go about normal. I work on the podcast a little bit every day work on the house a little Draco
get out of her mind.
Unknown Speaker 3:58
Oh, you moved over Hear so I thought you said
you went over there and I thought Draco was about to drink your wine.
Yeah, I have a box of wine that I have been very sparing with. Because we are in Kansas or Kansas City. We're on the Kansas side liquor or, yeah, liquor and wine aren't sold in grocery stores here. The only thing you can buy is beer and I'm allergic to beer and I don't think liquor stores are going to be considered essential when we eventually get put into lockdown. And so I've been using eczema cream without good my hands. Oh, they're so soft and they don't
look like lizard claws anymore.
No, I Well, I'm also morphing back into my human form
good i'm glad cuz I was like, another good reason we had this week to ourselves is she could finally said shed her old lizard skin and grow back a new human one because it was.
I mean that lizards really itchy after a while.
We are lizard people.
We are us. Mark Zuckerberg, Barack Obama, all lizard people.
Like why can't we be one of the rich and successful lizard people?
Yeah, guys support our podcast make us rich and successful people. So who goes first today?
You went first last time because I remember editing like 17 hours of handwashing. So I get to go first this time, okay, and I'm gonna decide to go with a very normal and light topic. Okay. And I'm going to talk about Victorian sexuality.
Oh, yeah. So this is like sexuality. And I'm assuming we're not talking about sexuality. Like we talked about it today, which is like gender identity and sexual identity. Oh, no,
it's it is a very unique, almost contradictory and more than a little insane set of rules and social norms. From the time
is that weirder than the fact that early Americans were the Puritans encouraged their kids to have sex contrary to what we were taught in school.
So much weirder than that.
Yeah. Well, I'll provide in right now then because of the short lifetimes of the pier people in the Puritan times once you are betrothed to somebody, you shared a bed with the goal of conceiving children as early as possible. Yeah. But onto his topic.
This is not something we learned about in school, obviously, because it's gonna get weird. And it's what we did learn was not wrong either. Like the Victorians were very uptight. They were stuck up, they were prudish, everyone had a very set roll and like image and what they were supposed to do, that was set in stone, and you couldn't really get away from it. And everyone was just a repressed bundle of Englishness
not unlike women in their roles today. Yeah, but this was even worse. And I don't mean the roles we impose upon ourselves for the most part, patriarchy.
So we're gonna get started with the boring the boring thing I found, and the boring part was the sex cult and wine in my mouth. Only the English could make a boring sex cold.
He waited for me to have wine in my mouth before saying the word sex.
Yes, I am the worst. I don't think that's a word. I have no idea how to pronounce sex cult. No, the sex cult was the gap nights or I got I got Pema Knights it's all one word
all one word I would go and it's spelled like a gape, a gap mo nice MLA and it is I would go with something like I'm American I'd go with agape Midnight's, but probably something that sounds like a government Hooters.
I think it's, I got Pema Knights.
Unknown Speaker 7:33
Yeah, that sounds right. Yeah.
Or the easier to pronounce one, they probably should have used the lamp letter breath, brethren. Which
are they still around?
No, but there are a bunch of Google autocorrected it to lamplighter Brethren, which is a actual like church newsletter that so many churches use, and that amused me so much trying to find this
is a Jehovah's Witness. I
think it is yeah. Oh my. So a roughly translated it means the abode of love.
It sounds like a swingers club.
Glad you mentioned that. It was founded by a man named Henry Prince. Also impossible to fucking Google. Yeah, that sounds like a really common one. Yeah. He was a radical preacher who had gone to medical school. But this was like medical school, like we've talked about in the olden times where they weren't really doing medicine. It was more like, yeah, this guy, he's good enough. Maybe. I don't know what I'm doing either. So he would got kicked out of the Church of England and like most cults, he was under the impression that Jesus was coming back and he was coming back soon,
and he's gonna show up in Jackson County, Missouri. Oh, no,
no, it's better than that. He got famous when he started throwing himself around the church like he was possessed, and would just start acting possessed and got famous for that. And so people started coming to see this guy, just flinging himself around the church, preaching He was the frocked when a bishop came to visit him, and he simply just quietly told the bishop that he was the embodiment of the Holy Spirit. Sure, and that he had taken on several spiritual brides
that the brides know about this.
Oh yeah, they knew because this was all a big con. This was all a big con. His Brides, were the wealthy and young female parishioners and his, although his followers were expected to be chaste and to help the world come, like come to its natural end, sure. But he was an embodiment of God and he could fuck whoever he wanted. Great. So using the money donated from his wealthy parishioners, because it sounds like we'll all pull our money together and live in luxury and wait for the world end, because Don't worry, it's coming.
Isn't that what Jared Leto is doing right now?
It's exactly what Jared fucking Leto is doing right now.
He came out of like a 12 day meditation in the desert. To find out that the world was ending out here,
yeah, this guy's basically Jared Leto and its problem. So this might be like a spoiler alert for what's going to happen to Jared Leto. Like the next few years.
Yeah, if anybody's walking around wearing white intentionally looking like Jesus, probably not someone you should follow.
Yeah. So yeah, he said that they must divest of all of their worldly possessions, but he got them all, huh. And he bought a Bichon ass mansion
is this guy also known as creed Breton. I know I just mentioned Jared Leto. But this is where creed brought me.
It's gonna get more creed, Brett. All right. This is an 18 room mansion with more rooms for servants because you have to have servants. There's also lots of little cozy cottages throughout it for all the people who came to be a part of this church, which there was either 500 people according to prints or about 100 people according to the people who didn't like him. There were a lot of people that didn't like him. So so a pretty pretty big coal, pretty big coal and they also had a chapel and an absurd amount of billiards table. There's even a billiards table in the chapel which this billiards table is gonna come up later. Oh no. Oh yes. You never want to hear billiards table chapel and sex cult all together. Three of his richer followers were the three Nottage sisters. They each gave about 6000 pounds to him, which is about 200,000 pounds and today money. These are some of his brides. They weren't his Brides, but they became the spiritual brides of some of his more like, you know, loyal followers. Okay. The oldest sister Agnes objected to the celibate nature of the spiritual of being a spiritual wife and totally had a child was another parishioner. Uh huh. She got out and was warning her younger sister not to go join the sex cult and her younger sister being a younger sister join the sex call. Her parents didn't approve of this shockingly, and three men were sent to rescue her. They captured her from Have a sex called in the night and Stoller out in the wagon before anyone could respond, and they locked her up against her will because she kept insisting that Prince was in fact divinity. The family had her declared insane by a friendly doctor, and they sent her to live in a silo
is that safer than the sex cult in the in the Victorian era? Honestly, it's six of one half a dozen of the other.
But she did escape, she escaped. And while she was on the run, she got worried back to the sex called the cheat escaped and she tried to get to them, but she got recaptured at Paddington Station. The fucking bear never mentioned the sex cult recapture.
That little tiny bear walks up with his red boots on Excuse me, Miss if you need
to come with me. Excuse me. I've escaped from a bear sex cult. They didn't mention that in the book either.
No, these books were really censored as time went on. Yeah,
so that's what Paddington Bear is really about. It makes way more sense. Totally. Does I ruin someone's childhood? I can feel like no one listen to this except for us yet but I can feel a childhood about to be ruined. I'm a good person.
I'm a good person. Yes, it's true.
So but one of the pastors of the sex cold edition, the commissioners of lunacy, which was Overview The Overview The asylums in England and got her released and declared sane.
So he calls him stage managers and pulled some strings.
The commissioners have literacy rate, by the way, great band name. Oh, then she sued her family for false and prison prison meant then after her death, because she died a few years after this because it was Victorian England and everybody just died.
Except for the ones that still live on because as we learned Wikipedia has a list of fake vampires and the list of vampires. Yeah,
so maybe there's vamp? Maybe this is a vampire sex cult.
I mean, haven't we learned from all vampire movies that that's what all vampire groups are?
vampire sex cults. Yeah, yeah. So. So then after she had her family sued Prince for her money because she willed him everything. Her family won the lawsuit and got the money. So yeah, that was that that was that that was that with them.
Didn't you say there were three sisters with our threes?
The third one was not interesting at all. She was just in a sex cult. They only wanted to rescue the youngest one for some reason.
Well, we're both oldest children. We both know why.
Yeah, it's like, it's like surely the third one join us sex called Oh, fuck, we gotta get out. We thought we made all of our mistakes with the first ones. So that was that so shortly after all of these lawsuits and stuff, there was the billiard table incident. Oh, no. Oh, yes. In 1856. Prince and Zoey Patterson, a virginal follower had sex in front of an audience on top of a billiards table as a ceremony so that she could give birth to a new spiritual Messiah because he was an embodiment of the Holy Spirit. So this was exactly like how they made Jesus
in front of a group. People
in front a group of people remember that from the Bible. I don't either.
I mostly remember that being a scared and alone tween having some dude jump in her room and being like, hey, guess
what? So this caused a slight schism in the in the cult. So we're like, oh my god, I can't believe they did that we're supposed to be chaste followers, but he's like, I've been fucking everybody behind your backs prudes. So some of them left but the ones who remains got really cool titles, like the anointed ones, or the angels of the last trumpets, or the seven witnesses, which I'm pretty sure there are more than seven of them, but some of them got to be the seven witnesses.
Did she get pregnant? She actually
got pregnant, not spiritually pregnant, but actually pregnant. I'm guessing they'd been doing it a lot more since then. Because he was a dirty old man.
How old is he?
He didn't die until 1899. So it took a while but yeah, he's actually got actual they named the daughter Eve. He quickly respond. No, no, it's gonna it was an actual pregnancy. That was supposed to happen. Not a spiritual pregnancy actual pregnancy
because it was a girl.
Yeah, it was so weird. prints turned out to not be immortal what died in 1899 and the church. After that the church just started declining. It was just a bunch of old men lounging around in luxury with a bunch of attractive young women. So it's like the Playboy Mansion. Yeah, the last member of this cult died and you want to guess the year 1952 so close 1956 I was close the one of the granddaughters of Prince's successor who had led the cult for a while but it mostly became a laughingstock shocking. Yeah, it did not do so well outside the Victorian era.
I mean, it was overtaken by a lot of other sex cults.
Yes, much better sex cults, not boring sex called sexier sex cult because the last member was talking about how it was just a nice place to grow up with her like weird cult family and there was just so lovely and caring and you got to grow up on this palatial estate. date, it was just a wonderful time. So boring sex is a boring sex call, because cults either end in an orgy of mass violence or they get boring and just become a place where people live. The last news about this place comes up in 2010, where some of Prince's illegitimate children because he had lots of illegitimate children tried to sue to get the million pounds. Imagine
These are his ultimate children in that time.
No, no, these are his descendants from his illegitimate children tried to sue to get the million pound estate in 2010. And their case was dismissed.
So what did happen to the estate?
It's just it got sold to somebody somebody just owns it now. I don't know what they're doing with it. someone's
like, this is my sex cold house. Yeah, it's like I would you like to have your wedding here. someone's like, yes,
I did buy that place it. It was a sex cult. But it is so close to a tube stop and it's not here to stop. It's out in the country somewhere. Yeah, so cuz that was kind of a short story. I started looking into other stuff and there's so many things that aren't an entire Episode but are just worth talking about. So I thought I would mention them. Okay, first thing is the flagellation brothels. Oh, Victorian men loved spankings. Uh huh. And not like they didn't like like spanking other people, they loved being spanked. Okay. There's two theories about this. Either they all went to these, like, you know, boarding schools in which, you know, if you did something wrong, you would be publicly flogged in front of an audience. And they started to take some kind of erotic pleasure out of it, or it was because they were expected to be so in control and so authoritative and just, you know, everything is right. And I'm always right, that this was the release in which someone else was taking charge of them. Hmm. They would all sometimes men would ask their friends to just smack their bare ass like recreationally. It wasn't gay for them. It was just, hey, I've had a rough week. Why don't you just bend me over in wail on like Easter. Again, this was not Considered gay by Victorian men, and they didn't really have the same gender like standards or sexuality like stuff that we have now, this was just an except
I don't think that that alone, you know, it's considered gay by and
I would consider like if I went up to one of my friends and said hey, we are going to pull up my pants I just need you to wail on me for a bit. I'm pretty sure they would say no. And I'm
fried by today's standards. Yes, that would be some kind of very bizarre Come on, although the internet's a scary place and I have found evidence that this is actually very common among teenage boys these days. Wow. And it's not connected to sexuality in any way. Also, I'm gonna have to clear my search history after looking up
stuff because I am getting some ads now. There's also prostitutes who specialize in spanking people, both men and women, prostitutes who do this and there will actually entire specialized brothels, the flagellation brothels Were just there and you could go in, someone would spank you and you'd pay him for it and then you'd leave. I mean, it's your mind. Yeah, so the first photographic pornography was spanking porn. 50% of porn was spanking porn, isn't it? And this is at a time when photography was a fucking ordeal. So like someone had to sit perfectly still like with a paddle up against them or like after being spanked, I don't know how any of it works. But this is like don't look it up like anybody. But like the this these pictures I was like looking at this and it's like, what the fuck?
Yes, I have any of my students are listening to this podcast that they have skipped ahead by this. Nobody has my parts nicer.
Nobody. Nobody should be looking this up.
Unknown Speaker 20:41
Nobody should be listening guys.
Nobody should be listening to us. And it was just there was like an entire like underground, like a underground secret pornography train, because it was still illegal and unacceptable, but everybody was doing it. So weird. And then we're getting on to my second subject of my middle of many things. And then Is the invisible lesbians
so is this like, Is this like the Invisible Man movie that just came out and there are lesbians that are invisible attacking you in your home? No, this is weirder.
Being a gay man was one of the biggest taboos even though it was totally okay to like, you know, spank your friends. Sure. And like wrestling naked was just like something they did.
Yeah, I remember reading that until like the 1960s or 1970s, maybe even boys swim classes in high school were done nude.
Even gay men were given harsh sentences. Like Oscar Wilde was actually sentenced to hard labor for homosexuality. And just like lots of all of the gay stuff was done very much in secret. There were like,
I could probably word that better. Yeah. How should I word that
liaisons between people of the same sex
liaisons? We'd be able to same sex was done very much the same gender, same gender. No,
no, no. back then. It was like we didn't have Oh, I'm good. I'm getting to it.
This is only only the men had like it. grip gay cruising in parks with a series of like secret gestures. Yeah, all this stuff was done in secret. There's it's an entire code to be able to pick up men in public places. Uh huh. That was done entirely in secret. But lesbians were actually fairly open sexual identities as we see them. We're not really defined at this time. So women weren't seen as sexual beings. Of course, you know, men were all the all that sexual stuff, but it was from men, you know, they were the only one sexual desires, which is probably why they thought homosexuality was bad because, you know, but women, they could just live together. They had something that was called a Boston marriage. Okay, these women who refer to each other as their wives, and they just live together and share a bed and nobody thought this was weird, because they didn't say, oh, women aren't sexual. What are what could these two women be possibly be doing together in a bed,
kind of like that meme thing was going around Facebook recently as the old picture of two women in bed. It was like nobody can know what they're doing. We think that they're snuggling or wrestling. And it's like,
okay, and they're just like, female intimacy was just widely accepted. So these are the invisible lesbians, because like, Oh yeah, it's like, oh my gosh, like two men holding hands the horror. Oh, look at those two women share a nice kiss. So sweet. They must be great friends. No, it was a different time.
Unknown Speaker 23:19
Are you ready for some questions? No questions. Will Boston marriages be on the test? No. Will the fact will the fact that Oscar Wilde got hard labor for homosexuality be on the test? Not until college? Yeah, well flagellation brothels beyond the test? No. And is there any part of the abode of love that could be on any test?
It doesn't sound like they had any real effect on larger society. It's like it was it was an
interesting case about like overturning and insanity conviction in at the time but there's been other ones and the laws have changed so much since then it doesn't really matter now and it didn't really set a precedence and that's about the Only thing of significance that came out of the abode of love.
And it lasted for about like 100 years after the
last 100 years of the sex cult.
But what a sad life being the last living member of a sex cult living in the sex cold house by yourself thinking about all of the years of sex colinas gone by,
like every time you played billboards you just look at that table. Yeah, billiards. You just look at that table. Oh, thinking of the good times. You. This is so gross. That was that's the Victorians. Seriously, only the English could make a sex cult boring.
I don't know. I don't know. I feel like Minnesotans could give it a good goal.
I know there is winter in Minnesota gets weird. It's like you think we've been weird like because we've been like, you know, in our little quarantine for a week. Everyone's locked together by winter for months on end. You can't go outside second, sex and hot dish sometimes at the same time. No. Oh, no.
Sorry, Minnesotans. His whole family is like Minnesota and dissented i think is more of a culture than Swedish at this
point. Yes, we are. I think we are a Swedish set. But I think we're more Midwestern than anything. We are very Midwestern. Like I have. There's members of my family. I've never seen smile except at garage sales.
Well, that's because garage sales are the best. Yeah, do you think oh my goodness, Austin if this quarantine lasts much longer, we're going to start getting into garage sale season and then what? Oh, man,
what we're gonna do like
we've been talking about Yeah, garage sale seasons coming up, and we need to go thrifting and I was like, I'm not touching a damn thing that someone else has touched.
This is gonna be rough man. How are you gonna find like quirky shit to put on the shelves.
I am looking for a vanity table for a room because my makeup is just a hot mess. And I need a nice place to put it on and store it and so on. My Facebook ads are sending me vanities and mirrors and I just kind of scroll past them like Okay, okay, and then I passed one and I stopped and I was like Austin, come look at this. And he came in and I said, this mirror is haunted. And he goes, Oh shit, that mirror is haunted. Yeah, I don't know what it was about this mirror. There wasn't like a ghost face in it or anything.
Ghost face killer was not in this mirror.
And like I was like, Okay, look at this mirror and I went to a different one. He goes, That's not haunted. I'm like, No, it's not haunted. See? I didn't
I thought you're gonna talk about that horrifying purple one. Oh, no, that one was awesome. That was the worst thing I've ever seen. And I was just modulation pornography from the Victorian era. This was worse this
mirror was haunted. And then we lost a third of our listeners because she crazy you're crazy but
you're the fun kind of crazy you're not the Jessica kind of crazy
from from lovers line from love is blind. We're
just talking about
you. I don't think we actually mentioned her name.
me like Mark when we were like, no, she's nothing but red flags. Maybe we said her name.
Every Saturday anyone, I'm sure people heard our wonderful review that show stop watching our podcasts immediately binge watched all of love is blind and then came immediately back to our podcasts and they're all caught up.
We highly recommend watching Love is blind because it does make you feel real good about yourself.
I don't know if it's good, or we've just been broken down by solitude.
Well, we've also been watching 100 humans and I am highly critical of their methodology, which I think drives Ofsted a little nuts.
It's like it's a stupid show where there's asking people to do funny things, except it as it is. I can't it's not an actual scientific study. And they even though
they say so much they're bringing in scientists to talk about why they got the results they got and the scientists are confirming it. I'm like, No, you can't confirm this until they have a more solid terminology.
But these are all like simplified versions of actual experiments that have been done.
I mean, it's something that I I dig it and you do end up with favorites on the show. You don't know any of their names, which I think is cool. You don't know where they're From You don't know anything about them other than I mean, I guess they tell you their names at some point like a couple of them they have like their name and then what they do for a living, but you don't get to learn a whole lot about them and then there are ones that you just hate. There's no like they don't give you a reason to hate them. It's like all other reality TV though. It's like I gotta have a villain.
I know my favorite is the guy who's saying the Tic Tac Toe song. He was the best part.
He was also one he was also the best dancer I don't care. So today my sources before I begin are ancient that you Encyclopedia Britannica encyclopedia Iran aka National Geographic, the iron chamber livius.org, Wikipedia and Forbes,
that is a that is a list. Encyclopedia. Encyclopedia Ted,
I am talking today about Cyrus the second of Persia, ooh, also known as Cyrus the Great, the great king, king of Persia, King of ash on the king of swords, king of Babylon, King of tumeric, and a cod and King of the four corners of the world
and the Mother of Dragons.
bH King historian Heraclitus said that he quote, brought into subjection every nation without exception. He was the first committed Emperor. So he sounds like it's gonna be a terrible story, right?
Yeah, that sounds like it's gonna be like, and then he conquered this. And then he conquered that.
Yeah, it sounds like it's gonna be yet another story about yet another asshole dude who decides he owns everything. Except that's not really the story, we're gonna hear. Ooh. And we can all use some good news this week. So I'm bringing in one of history's kind of good guys. Our history class is only focused on the bad guys in history. And well, it's important that we do learn about them. And they say, you know, those who don't want history are doomed to repeat it. We also forget the opposite that like those who don't learn the good parts of history, don't know how to replicate it. And that's the problem. We keep replicating the bad stuff in history because we never learned anything else. That's the only way no way we know the world was ever run. We don't learn about the people who maybe weren't like that, and so we don't have anybody to follow. So we're going to George Washington to slaves. Yes, this guy that I just libri comes up with this, but you'll learn about him. And some of you might already know about this guy. And that's especially true if you went to Catholic or otherwise parochial school.
I did not. So I'm assuming he's like he was related somehow to Xerxes, who I learned about from the documentary 300 starring Gerard Butler.
Okay, I'm still like, personally insulted by the fact that Gerard Butler doesn't do musicals anymore. He was the only truly good part of the Phantom of the Opera movie.
Okay, um, we just I say we reshoot 300. But as a musical. I say
we make what was that movie called that musical called Love never dies. Yesterday, we decided to look up the works of Andrew Lloyd Webber because that's where we are in our lives. Now. That's serious. The second was an interesting guy. Iris Iris. This is not the child of serious black that girl never told serious about his child would do.
Unknown Speaker 30:51
See, that's my vision of what happened with the Marauders that everybody seems to want the Marauders stories to be written that's and like, so Are we gonna get to the part? We're serious? We're serious. Got some girl pregnant. She never told him and took the kid away because, Dear God, he'd make a scary father. I am not. I am not on Team serious. Seriously, seriously, it's not really his fault. I recognize how he ended up the way he was. And considering the upbringing he had, he turned out very well. And considering the fact that he was put in prison at the age of 20 or 21. The fact that he never matured past 20 or 21 is fine. I'm not on Team serious I was not. I was sad when he died in the sense that Harry was sad. I there was no way the series could have continued with him alive. Speaking of Sirius Cyrus, there are a lot of oral traditions about the Early life of Cyrus with Greek writers like Harada tiss, c'est si te si es
And Vina fond Xena five It was like Victorian sex Colton love with Cyrus, writing largely contradictory pieces about it. They often seem to over exaggerate his greatness but that's how good stories are written. Cyrus was the son of Persian king, king canvas and media and Princess mundane or possibly the son of Persian brigand auratus and his wife a goat herd named our gusta. And Cyrus served as cup bear and Princess mundanes father's court before overthrowing them and then naming us to Gussy us, stodgy is a man named father, his father and then marrying his daughter immittance. Or perhaps he claimed to be the grandson of estado JS so he could gain legitimacy as a noble and marry amitis For this reason,
so we don't know much about him, but there's lots of great theories that sounds like they could be entire movies of awesomeness, yes,
but by most logical accounts, he was the son of kameez the second and mandate and the daughter of srg is a spy Jiejie G s astok. Jesus stodgy, stodgy there too. Jesus, okay, I'm the Princess of needs. And this is generally considered to be the truth. He was possibly born between some time, but sometimes even 590 and 580 BCE. And regardless if you believe anyway, everyone seems to believe he spent at least part of his youth in a star Jesus star Jesus court. Harada just became the most important resource when it comes to the records of Cyrus his life, though a lot of the things he wrote are a bit idealized, not as much as the work of Xena fun, which was intended to give the Greeks an idea of the deal ideal ruler not to provide an accurate history. Also Xenophon totally in love with this guy. 150 years later, he's like, man, if I had one Genie wish, you know it goes anyway, gravitas and Xena font have one story in common about the childhood of Cyrus which will likely sound very familiar. They say that a star Jesus a star Jays star Jeez. I can't even like shorten that Asti King Asti drums that Cyrus would grow up to over Throw him in ordered him killed as a baby but his chief advisor gave Cyrus to a shepherd to raise instead. So that's, you know, part of man in the iron mask. That's parts of Snow White. That's parts of like, I think Moses's story. This happens throughout Greek mythology throughout Roman mythology throughout the Bible, the story exists and then at age 10, Cyrus was discovered by King Asti, but was found to be pretty awesome, so he was allowed to live. He did not marry a woman named Amadeus, even though a lot of stories are like he married his daughter Amethyst. There's no actual evidence that he married someone named Amethyst, he married a woman named Katherine Dunn. Kasam donning Cassie, okay, who was an archimedean with whom he had four or five children. We know about canvasses the second and bardia aka smartest, which you know names we definitely need to bring back smartest
and who were his sons and a tossa and Roxanne his daughters. That is Another daughter named artist stone, but she might have been a half sibling to the others and not a full siblings, which means that maybe there wasn't amitis involved at some point history is just weird. These guys largely went on to do some really interesting things themselves like artists don't might have been another name for Biblical Queen Esther. But these are stories for another day. Apparently, Cyrus and Catherine Donna actually really loved each other, and she died before him, but apparently said it was harder to leave him than it was just to die. So dying wasn't that bad. It was knowing that she was leaving him and when she died, Cyrus mandated a public mourning period of six days. Like he actually liked his wife. We don't hear a lot about that from the time period the 500 to six 500 400 bc era era. They're like no, you just married the person you were told to marry. Like ICICI usually your sibling and
I secured an important path with a with a rival with this marriage. She's okay.
Cyrus became king in 59 BC. So around age 40, if my backwards math is right, which seems really old, my guess is that somewhere someone did math wrong and when he because his father died, but he was not King King, too, he still had to recognize the Medes as overboard, but his grandfather King Asti was still the Big Kahuna. So the medium Federation had been extremely powerful and not just in terms of the Persians, but also Armenians, Persians, Dragon dragon jeans and ariens. So king asked us in terms of everybody, when serious Cyrus became king, he created the United Front with his tribe called the past said garden with the Maryville mashpee menten pan CLA Darrow sigh, Germany da Hi, Marty drew peachy and the guardi tribes. So he was like, Hey guys, let's get together and take care of this because this is bullshit. Yeah, they revolted against King Asti king asked he sent an army after them command By dude them her patches but as soon as he got there, he was like I surrender, and he defected to the Persians. So the army now has no leader. So he didn't turn to the army just himself. And so he was allowed to join their army. He's on their side now, in 550 BC, king asked, he was captured and forced to surrender, which allows Cyrus to integrate all of the Iranian tribes, every single one of them is now under his control. They were excellent horsemen. So that gave his new army mobility that was not previously seen, and the willingness of the meats to accept their new rule there may have been in part because Cyrus his mother was their princess to begin with. So he had legitimacy with immediately. Now unlike a lot of new rulers, he didn't go in and impose a shit ton of new laws and kill everybody. That's not how he rolled. He was just like, okay, I mean, now cool, guys. So now Cyrus is the king of the empire of Medes. And Persia, he founded the government that incorporated people from both places as officials. So he actually like hey, I respect both places that I now I'm in charge of you guys now are all part of my inability. Yeah, that's,
that's pretty good. He's like, like, cool. I'm not gonna impose all my shit on you guys. Yeah, he's gonna have a say unless
he first had to consolidate all of the tribes in the Iranian Pato. So his first target after the tribes he already had was Croesus the king of Libya and Anatolia, who had expanded his own lands after he found out that Cyrus had taken over, he's like, Oh, shit, I've got to make my own space picker, because this guy's gonna come after me, which was Cyrus took Libya and around 547 BC, and crisis was either killed or did self immolation which is burning himself to death because you know, people do that a lot, but most likely it sounds like he was taken prisoner by Cyrus and not treated like shit to like you surrender. Okay, cool. You can your prisoner now but you aren't going to be beaten or anything taking over Lydia. Lydia was really rich in precious metals. So now he's super rich. So now he had all these people and all this money.
So what kind of crazy sex cult that he found?
I'm actually like, this is all pretty factual but the years are wrong. Maybe later on, we're not entirely sure if Cyrus died or was taken pressure, we're not actually sure what Cyrus his background was or you know, I mean, if it the dude from Libya was taken prisoner died. So I'm kind of this is my thought you know that that work that no one can translate it's not in a real light it's not no no language yeah but we know it's like some kind of actual work and not some kind of joke and like codebreakers have gone and not been able to figure anything out. I think it's called the real and true history of Cyrus the Great. I feel like that's like the one space where we'll actually find out what really happened. But anyway, now it's in charge of all that place from before and Lydia, and then he managed to stop several revolts in Greek cities, and then he conquered the lands generally surrounding Mesopotamia. Then he was like, hey, Babylon looks pretty cool. Yes. And so He went that way. He went it
Unknown Speaker 40:01
he went it that way he went that way. Luckily for him, the people were not happy with their ruler who was named now bow now Bodie is now bone it is now bonus that tick had forced them into link labor. They were in forced labor every day, and he had even demoted their patron deity Mar Duke, which sounds like the name of a demon from Buffy the Vampire Slayer I
think it was a demon from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Lots of like Christian demons are actually the deities of other religions because they were dicks like that.
So Cyrus shows up and he's like, I'm here to conquer you and the Babylonians were like, cool, let us help you. So they teamed up with Cyrus and the city fell really quickly. And this is gonna sound very Games of Thrones. Anybody who sided with Cyrus was spared anybody who fought against him was brutally publicly in many cases killed.
So he was the breaker of chains and Mother of Dragons. Yes,
he was was the mother of bucking dragons even more so we're getting it we're getting into why he is more and more like her. That was in October 539 BCE, we seem to have actually got a timeframe for this one. And an inscription reads that the people allowed him to enter the city, quote, in peace amid joy and amidst joy and jubilation. So Persia is now in charge of Babylonia, which is included in Mesopotamia, Syria and Palestine at this point. So you know, owns like most of the Middle East, this is where Cyrus shows up in the Bible. You might have heard of Nebuchadnezzar the second Yes, you did go to you know, Sunday school. So
yeah, I only recognize it as a funny sounding name.
He was the one who had forced the Jews to go into exile in Babylon. So Cyrus comes into Babylon, and free to the 40,000 Jewish slaves. So see motherfucking dragons, you're enslaved. You can stay here. You can go home, do whatever you want. As long as it makes you feel better about your lives, the 40,000 Jews went back to their land. Nice. And they were always like, super cool. But after that, they're like, this guy actually freed us. And then he didn't come after us and be like, wait, I was kidding. That was pretty cool of them. In addition, he supported I would be willing to bet this part's not so much in the Bible, but I will admit, I have not read the Bible. He supported the Babylonian customs and participated in them, including it sacrificing to their gods. So remember, Marduk, who got demoted? Yeah, he publicly worshipped more Marduk along with the people to show I am on your side. these are these are beliefs that you are allowed to have and I'm going to continue to support you in having them. I have a feeling that that's not in the Bible.
I mean, I I don't know maybe
so after Babylonia, Cecilia, his ally had they allied with him way back, had retained a special status became a part of his empire through diplomacy. So he was like, Hey guys, you've been my ally for a while. You're super small on the comparison. How about you just kind of join us? And they were like, Okay, cool. So he didn't even have to overtake them. He just went over and talk to them. And it's like, we have this mutual respect thing going. I feel like you guys be better served as part of ours, we can provide you production, we can all keep art and our trade lines will be open, more open, things like that.
Unknown Speaker 43:18
diplomacy, diplomacy. Wow, that's a word you don't hear very often.
I know. Cyrus didn't think his beliefs or culture were better than that of those who he conquered. So he is largely remembered as a man of great tolerance and mercy. He united the means with the Persians borrowing traditions or kingship from the needs, and likely even how to meet as one of his direct advisors. He began to dress to like the Alamo Heights, who he conquered at some point during this because he conquered everybody. He began to dress like them. He allowed the people of his lands to worship whomever and however they wanted restoring their rights to have images of their gods that had previously been banned. He basically combined all of their friends cultures and let people do their thing using a bit from each of the conquered countries in his own legal system. Well, you
know, this is sounding a lot like America,
early America. Yeah. And that sums up Ooh. So this guy was like, Okay, I see all of these cultures. And the best way to rule them is not to impose my will, but to see what matters to them and incorporate that into making sure I am an effective leader and get to keep their loyalty. So he basically conquered all of these cultures then combines them and this is actually documented. This isn't just Xena fest being like, Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. This guy is real. This is documented in the Cyrus cylinder. Which, what?
Yeah, the Cyrus cylinder cylinder. It was like that is some spot on alliteration.
It's, um, it's actually a cylinder kind of looks like those things that you get the bank when they send you stuff back and forth through the tubes,
the tubes of
tubes. It looks like that. That's made of stone. Okay. It was written Babylonian cuneiform around the time of his conquering of the area. It was found by British archaeologists in 1879. You know, and Pete Colt sets called time. Yeah, they're off, you know, having a sex cold and then going and digging up merciful guys, cylinders, and it talks about how merciful he was to them, how he left them retain their cultures, which was unheard of at the time. And really, it's unheard of today. Yeah. And that he actually lived among them, like, Yeah, he had a central place that was his home, but he would go to these places and be among the people. So he was very degeneracy.
You know, except for didn't have a dragon. But did he have dragons? You're like, there's some unclear stuff in history. Did he have dragons?
Do we have any real proof that dragons didn't exist?
I mean, maybe he might have had Tyrannosaurus. I'm not quite sure how the timeline works out on those. I might be off by 56 million years or so.
Six. We know I think mastodons were still alive at this point. We had mastodons maybe. I don't know how time works. It generally goes forward,
does it though, it seems like it's been going forward a lot more slowly this year.
See, I don't know that time is linear. I don't actually think time is linear.
You're saying that time is a flat circle. I think time is a bunch of wibbly wobbly
timey wimey stuff. It kind of happens when it feels like happening. So I don't think that there are time travelers so much is that we are all time travelers.
I mean, yeah, technically we are because we are all moving forward in time at the same rate.
But like, you might have a moment where you feel like whoa, something just happened, but I didn't, but nothing actually happened. Yes. Like, I think that's like to have your timelines colliding for a second. I'm a big multiverse theory person.
And if you like you have to believe in the multiverse. It's
nothing. I'm not fully convinced that every single decision you make, you know, changes things into a new universe.
Unknown Speaker 46:49
You're saying we're not all sliding doors. Oh, no, I have missed my sliding door.
No, and nor am I saying we're part of the musical alphabet.
Let's not speak of if then. Adel diseases ruin everything.
How did we get off on this?
I don't know.
Anyway, so the artifact the fire cylinder is basically considered the first ever Bill of Rights real in history. Awesome. So like there was, you know, the whole iPhone i think that i think was from before this the code of Hammurabi. Yeah. Which is not a bill of rights, that is a code of laws, code of laws. This is basically how to treat people and not people and not to treat people before and after conquering them. But Cyrus is not done taking places over because he's still alive at this point in the story. Yeah. Oh, I just hit the mic. Sorry, guys. So we know Cyrus had his eye on Egypt, but he never actually entered Egypt, his son ended up taking them over. There's also a solid possibility that he invaded India at some point, but we know he only ended up with control of Gandhara which had to happen before you can take control of India. We know he didn't conquer the Indus Valley and we don't know if he tried to. We just know he thought about it.
I mean, who hasn't thought about it? conquering the Indus Valley. I know like sometimes I'll be sitting in bed in the morning. I'll like be like, Okay, I need to get up and get some coffee. Should I conquer the Indus Valley first
Unknown Speaker 48:09
no. Coffee before you conquer the is
like don't even don't even try to conquer the Indus Valley before I've had my coffee.
So but he did head east and fought against the nomads near the Caspian Sea, their ruler, the massive Jedis or massive goddess. A woman named Maurice Harada. Just says that Cyrus captured her son, her son killed himself while in captivity, and Tamara's comes up and is like fuck you and kills him. That said, this might just be his story, though. his conquest definitely extended to East because cities far to the east were named for him. There are a lot of story saying that Tamara's did kill him whether her herself or her armies are the ones who took them out.
How Okay, are you with Game of Thrones? spoilers, y'all have had plenty of time. So as to Maris john smell,
he she might be She might we might have she
might be john. Oh my god. George RR Martin is a student of history he's probably read all of this so that means there's probably like white walkers but in Egypt, the mummies, the mummies or the White Walkers. Oh my god Game of Thrones is real. I blew the lid off of this thing. We do have defiled Tim coming up. Oh my god.
Most people are believe believe he was killed as part of this particular effort. ctcs said he was killed in India. Well Xena Fon you know, the one who really like had a hard on forum believes he died peacefully in his palace. That's not what happened. We know that the news of his death reached Babylon in December 530 BCE, and that they accepted his son Canvas can be at campuses. as King Cyrus was buried near pasture pass a guard a his tomb is still there. It is a small building with a gold sarcophagus containing his weapon weaponry, jewelry and a cloak. The cloak had something to do with crowded news. Kings. Well, a lot of these stories end with the Empire ending or having a lot of bloodshed after the death of their leader that is actually not the case here. They had really liked Cyrus. So his empire remained and grew for about 200 years. He was held in high esteem by the Greeks with Xena fond writing about him 150 years later saying that he honored his subjects and cared for them as if they were his own children. They, on their part, revered Cyrus as a father, even when the Greeks eventually waged war against the Persians who succeeded Cyrus 100 years in the future, they still had respect for Cyrus, then we're just aware that these people are not Cyrus. However, all good things must come to an end. When Persia was subjected by Alexander the Great a lot of sacred items were taken so they couldn't coronate a fall a foreigner and Cyrus's bald body was desecrated in the process thrown on the ground by the conquerors and Alexander ordered things restored though and 342 BCE. Now you know, at the end of the Good quote for my subject when I can but we don't really have any. So I want to leave you with the nine lessons and leadership as provided by Xena Fonz work on Cyrus okay so this is kind of Xena Fonz interpretation of what Cyrus meant what how he led stuff that's in the oh how did I miss this? I miss this is Thomas Jefferson was known to have two copies of Xena Fons work site a Syrah paideia, which was about the life of Cyrus Cerro pedia therapy idea adea. So Thomas Jefferson actually did definitely base some of his original us laws and Bill writes stuff on what he did. And there is a replica of the Cyrus cylinder at the UN headquarters in New York City. So he's still like his beliefs are actually still considered important today. But here are the nine lessons and leadership as provided through Xena Fons work on Cyrus which likely I couldn't say anything. I didn't feel like reading the entire translation of the cylinder. Let's be honest. Yeah, but those kind of sounds like
I mean when reading the entire cylinder.
So one be self reliant. So like this isn't the America, the America first bullshit we're dealing with this is replenish your own stuff. So you don't have to ask others for stuff because you stay on better terms when you're not borrowing it from your friends. Okay? Be generous when you gain wealth, share it with those who you need on your side. So it doesn't matter who they are. If this is somebody who you feel like could benefit from this and eventually could be of benefit to you especially share it with them.
That's why you always bring doughnuts to the meeting.
Always bring doughnuts to the meeting, be brief, be short to the point and logical so no one can raise objections, basically know what you're saying about it, say it quickly and shut up the opposite of what the orange monster does, where he just rambled and rambled and rambles with no logic behind it. Okay, so far
I'm reading this and thinking these all these rules should in modern life, they should be applied to all staff meetings.
Be force for good. Now I like what Xena fill, fill his love good.
bs be a be a source for the good for the naugles
he wrote, whenever you can act as liberate freedom, dignity, wealth, these three together constitute the happiness of humanity. If you bequeath all three to your people their love for you will never die basically. life liberty, pursuit of happiness. Yeah, or the opposite of everything happening right now. Not what Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Jefferson kind of
who knows what Thomas Jefferson wanted. He was a we
wanted a dinosaur.
I mean, who doesn't want a dinosaur George Washington, George Washington was kind of old
George Washington didn't know existed. George Washington didn't know dinosaurs existed. And that's the saddest thing I've ever heard. be in control. Now, this doesn't mean be a dictator. This just means create create structure and discipline for your people and especially for your army. Be fun this is literally one of the things on there be fun. He apparently loved to party. And so he can find all kinds of people over to his house, share a bunch of food and drinks with them and then send extras home to people who couldn't come to the party.
So we're saying is past a guard a loved party
Unknown Speaker 54:16
past day loved keep me rockin.
Let me keep going.
along you could go be loyal. I don't think that is an explanation. Be an example. Quote, in my experience, men who respond to good fortune with modesty and kindness are harder to find than those who face adversity with courage, Trump, man,
well, I'm not surprised because if like someone who has vilified Iran as much as Trump has, clearly has not read something by one of Iran's most famous leaders.
Yeah. And then lastly, be courteous and kind. Don't allow those around you to show No disrespect and don't show disrespect to yourself. So it's kind of like in the McCain Obama election series. When somebody came to McCain and started insulting Obama and McCain shut that
shit down. Like someone was calling him like a a secret Muslim and a terrorist. He said, No, he's not and also being a Muslims out of problem.
Yeah, he said, this is a person who I have different opinions from, but it's a person who takes care of and loves his family and as a good American, and then walked away. Unlike what we see him today, when somebody went up to one of the major politicians tried to say something and the guy who just walked away, this guy actually said, like, I will not allow you to disrespect the person I'm running against like this. I remember the Obama McCain election. And you know, shockingly, I was for Obama. But I remember thinking I'm not scared of McCain until Pailin got involved.
Unknown Speaker 55:54
But hey, don't worry, she can we talk about the best singer? Yeah, it's been enough time.
Unknown Speaker 55:58
Yeah, but don't worry She does her
pretty good rendition of I like big.
Unknown Speaker 56:04
But McCain didn't scare me cuz I saw him. I'm like, this is a person who has different views from I do, but I feel like he at least will listen, before he makes his decision. And he might not always make the decision I would expect him to make. I mean, both of them fought for each other to be treated. Well. Yeah.
We haven't seen that since that run. Like, I mean, he and Romney weren't too bad towards each other. They weren't not great, but not to point how nice Can you be to somebody who made their fortune by basically like, you know, tearing apart businesses from the ground up and selling the parts that strapped their dog to the roof of their car? You know? Yes. yacht named cracker Bay. Now, yes, I know obama ate dog.
I know this. I read his book. I also understand that he lived in a culture where that was acceptable and PS eating bats did not call her on about coronavirus, but strapping your dogs The roof of your car is a very different thing. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't eat a dog, but it's not part of my culture either. Yeah, just like there are people who like, Oh yeah, there's
people who are totally against the fact that like, I'm gonna have some beef jerky later,
or the like, there are people in our own country especially like, I mean, the cow thing is true here too in our own country, but especially in our own country, people who are horrified from different religions, that awesome and I eat bacon, because pigs are unclean. In fact, I think like Christians used to think that too, or how on Friday, we ate so much chicken. I don't know chickens. The problem with any group
here, it's Lent.
Oh, yeah, I forgot to do live.
It exists but we don't fucking care.
No. And I went to i, i did lint during Catholic School, which was two years and then I was done because I was like, I can't imagine that's a whole other thing. But did you know that copy bars are considered fish and parts of the
Yeah, but I had to bring it up and I'm asking my my, my listeners, Kathy barres are the world's cutest mammals. There are parts of the world where meat is like scarce to begin with, but because capybara is live next to the water and part of their time in the water, they're considered fish and can be eaten on Fridays during Lent. Why are you eating the world's cutest giant gerbils? What is wrong with you? But then again, I just sit in an eating dog. So, yep, I need a giant dribble. I would never eat a capybara. I want a caviar as a pet and I think it would snuggle with us in bed.
It's like there's a lot out eat a lot of things. Like I think the only thing I'm really weirded out about is I don't think I'd want to eat monkeys because they have people hands
and people faces. And then there was that one of the zoo that was showing off for us. Oh, yeah, I could never eat a monkey. It was a baby arang
Yeah, baby orangutan
it saw us and it walked up and kind of looked at us and then it was like, look at what I can do and it walked over to a rope and put it in its teeth and then spun around in circles. Don't put legs off the floor and just let it free spin and like oh my god, toddler me totally would have done that if my teeth could have done that or open it. Then it like climbed up and like played a prank on its mom. Oh my god, they're just like, we are half a step away from orangutans at best.
Yeah. And we're like five steps away from platypuses.
I feel like okay, so you know, in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the dolphins are taken away.
I feel like the platypuses are more more likely
because they are the least like anything else on Earth.
We don't know what's going on in Australia right now. It's like they've had like fires diseases and Tony Morrison. What so who's there? Who's their prime minister?
Not Tony Morrison.
I think it's like it's not it's not Tony. Oh, God. It's I don't know some they've got a real asshole in charge there.
We've been rambling questions. Yeah. Outside of a religion class. Will Cyrus the Great viata test?
No, because America right now really hates Iran.
And we never learn about people who did good stuff no ever like and that's like, okay, even when we learn about the Holocaust, we don't learn about Schindler, who was a real person. Yeah, we don't learn about him. They might briefly mention that the Danes were like, Hey, we're not cool with this and had people will mention that some people hit and Frank, we don't realize that there are people doing stuff on a lark, there was a woman who saved like thousands of babies, assuming he is on the test. Well, the fact that he was accepted as a ruler because he treated people with kindness and allowed them to continue their traditions beyond the test.
Do I think that would be because we're all about the kindness now. We try to be well, we we talk a big game about kindness.
Well, the fact that Jefferson definitely got some ideas from this guy be on the test? No,
because the Greeks are the only things that lead to democracy and we don't talk about anything else.
And will the fact that he was defeated by a woman possibly single handedly beyond the test.
No. Because again, when done Especially on a Victorian test when the women they couldn't possibly kill a man, Magnus. Well, what if he killed her son? So it was only right only right, totally right people, he should have been able to kill him himself. Was it a fair boxing match? Were they naked?
I mean, this is the BCE time, so probably where's the snake file or something?
I sure hope so. She's escaped a couple of times. Yeah, I found her on top of I found her on top of my computer like a couple of weeks ago. She's just sitting out there because it was more and it's like, you shouldn't be here and she's like, what are you gonna do about it? So I put her back in her cage. And she's like, Oh, yeah, probably that.
So where can people find us?
Well, you can find us on Facebook at on the test pod. Yes on Instagram at all the test pod on Twitter and on the test pod and on our website on the test pod.com
if you enjoy us, or even if you don't, and you just really like lying, give us that five star review. Give us a rating give us a subscription on it. iTunes or whatever podcast format you listen to us on. And we've gotten a couple of new reviews. Thank you guys. I'm trying to if I know if my brain died, it did, but we don't you're not able to know in real life. So thank you.
Yeah. And yeah, if you've got suggestions for future episodes or corrections or things you just want to talk, talk to us about we are bored. We're sitting at home. We're in quarantine. I mean, we need entertainment. We're both working. We need entertainment. Yet guys. We're watching Love is blind. We are in desperate need of entertainment.
So yeah, please send us your ideas like we're we're big on getting ideas from other people. Yeah, because we shockingly, we didn't have a great history education.
Yeah, it's like every week it's like up didn't learn that shit to learn that boy that would have been useful 10 years ago.
And while you are stuck at home, first of all, if you can stay at home, stay at home, please do and wash your hands. Even if you're staying at home. You wouldn't go to the bathroom and I didn't touch anything all day you've touched nothing. Wash your hands. If you have to go out and public wash your hands. Take care of each other. Don't hoard the toilet paper. Don't hoard the masks, the rubber gloves, the hand sanitizer That won't do you much good. Anyway, although we have been finding how to and sanitizer all over our house, we have about 40 bars of soap because I was raised to take them from hotels,
and we got like five little mini hand sanitizers. So man, we are rich. When the buck when this finally breaks down to barter system, we can get toilet paper,
we remember when you go to the store, take what you need, take what your family needs. Remember, though, that there are people out there that have a higher need than you a larger family than you are at a higher risk than you most of you anyway, we've stopped for others. You're not the only one who matters.
Yeah, what would what would Cyrus say about this? I believe he had specific things to say about this. Let's be generous and this is a way to be generous.
Be courteous. kinda don't allow others around you to be disrespectful and don't respect them yourself.
Yeah. So it sounds like he had some really good advice for us these days. And he's trying to
listen to hearing stories, but people like being intentionally coughed on when they buy something that someone else wanted to get. Yeah. And that's not okay. Like, even though it's a fake cough, guys, like, you're not that's not cool. You're not funny. You're not cute. You're not clever. You're a dick.
America is full of assholes. We know this.
It's like, and also you like if you see somebody who's buying like an arcade. We might go and buy 120 cans of cat food. We usually buy 60 they come in 60 campaigns. We're not hoarding the cat food. We have four cats and are trying to make fewer trips to the store. Now if we bought all the cat food, at least ask if we run an animal shelter before spitting on us. Yeah, because oh, that's your thing. If you have if you're stuck at home and you're bored, call your local animal shelter. See if they'll let you foster an animal. They're looking for Foster's law right now because there are people are just as vulnerable as it is. We are and their animals need care too. And think about all of the socialization that an animal could get being at home with you yeah and especially like first call it kill shelter see if they can do it because kill shelters usually no kill shelters pull from kill shelters when they can. But right now although symptom if you call people from a kill shelter and then have to send them back, oh, yeah, find a place pull an animal that's volunteerism you can do without having to leave your house more than like once to go pick up
it's no it's a it's a good idea to get that house and walk because you can still walk around as long as you like, you know, keep the six feet apart thing when you're out there which is super easy when you're outside.
support your local stores if you can, I mean if you don't if you don't feel safe going out don't go out. Nobody's judging you for that. But like today we went to our local grocery store. We have this local local grocery store like it's owned by like one of the city council members who is lovely, not like one of the evil types of public city council member Yeah,
this is Leslie Nope, not a Jeremy jam.
And so I'm holding the mic now. So we will try a local grocery store we bought stuff made by local artisans today. And it was nice to get out of the house the first time I left the house in a week and a half Austin's at least been outside I haven't. So support places you feel safe, supporting be nice to each other. Be nice on the internet. Don't call it the Chinese virus. We will punch you through this podcast. Yeah,
it's like we know it came out of China. But because people are calling it the Chinese virus. People are assuming all Asians Americans are carrying it. And there's all sorts of hate crimes being committed. So call it the fucking Corona virus or crow or Kovac. 19
I especially love Well, they hit it for a month I'm like, yeah, and doctors were trying to unhide it and they died. Yeah, so
cool. They're very specific members of the Chinese Communist Party. You can be mad at for that. You can't be mad at lady down the street who is Asian.
And also let's not forget that we recently We found out that Trump classified all meetings that happened about this until February until like the end of February beginning of March. They've known since December, January. Yeah. So
I guess on that note,
Transcribed by https://otter.ai