Will This Be on the Test? Transcripts
Transcripts by AI. There will be errors. Sweeping ones. We'll get through this together.
Hi, everybody, and welcome to Will This Be On the Test? I'm Mattie.
This is our Halloween episode. So we're sitting here with a giant box of candy. It's like the best mix ever. It's got Reese's crackles, Milk Duds and then whoppers which are the devil but they make them Cornett
oh there are kit kat bars?
kick, kick cat right here in my hands.
Oh man. Heath bars are my favorite chocolate candy, did you know that?
I did know that you can tell me. Yeah, coffee in the chocolate
they do but there's so much more expensive than Reese's, which are my second favorite.
So I see Reese's are my favorite. They are so good. My second parents by payday like peanuts.
And do get him. I like candy.
Yeah, we're basically children. We had our Halloween party last night. We were Steve and Dustin from Stranger Things.
I was dusted. She was Steve.
I was Steve because I already have the hair and real life and you've got the attitude.
The I'm not quite sure what's going on most of the time attitude.
That makes sense.
And you were a real bully in high school.
Oh, totally. I was so mean.
You beat me so many times.
That wasn't me. That was a doppelganger.
Okay. The Shadow person I saw walking through the halls of our house.
That was that one doppelganger that you saw we had, okay. Last week we were. I was sitting on the couch. Joss was sitting on the other couch, and then all sudden he says, Wait, you're in here? Yeah. been here for about half an hour. And he had just seen me walk across the open doorway in our hallway.
Yeah, from like the bathroom to the bedroom. It's like what is going on.
And around the same time we started getting this mysterious puddle of water that would keep showing up in the middle of our kitchen. We checked all we checked everything you're supposed to check for that. We still don't know where it's coming from.
I blamed the cats but I just blame them for everything. It's
not anywhere near the cat bowl. That's the problem.
They play with water. You saw Zoombie splash Gigi.
Yeah, but that's still like eight feet away. She's a strong cat. Well, before we get started today, we need to talk about really just to make a correction on last week when we referred to Mozart as one of the greatest musicians of all time.
He I'm sorry, but you know, I was reading the news. And apparently Kanye is now the greatest musical genius of all time. And I was talking about Mozart like he was the greatest musical genius of all time. And I can't believe I made such a rookie error.
Yeah, we'd like to apologize to all of our listeners for insinuating that any body except for Kanye would be the greatest musician of all,
he said was the best musician and he said that God made him the greatest musician to
I mean, it's got to be someone I guess it's got to be. Remember when he first showed up on the scene, like 15 years ago or whatever, and I mean, I, I didn't listen to him. But everything I understood about him is that he was pretty good and cool.
And now he wears sweatpants and yells at the news and is best friends with an idiot.
There are not many things that would make me feel bad for Kim Kardashian, but she's married to him and marriages super hard to get out of even if you want to. I don't know if she wants to but
I mean, I think he's on a downward spiral. She just might be writing it out.
She is married to the greatest musician of all time, so maybe maybe she should feel bad for us.
I don't think Kim Kardashian even those words exist, and I don't want him to know he exists. Kim, if you're listening this podcast shut it off. Now you're not welcome here.
Well, like we said, this is our spooky Halloween episode
Spooky noise and werewolf bar mitzvah, spooky
Scary? Let's not get sued.
Yes, because that was definitely recognizable as the hit Tracy Jordan song.
So we both prepared Halloween themed stories for tonight things that we learned incorrectly or didn't learn at all in school and we would like to set the record straight. Yep.
Can I go first list I would first less than my talk. It's my turn to go first.
This time. It is
good. cuz I've got something fun and it's about Two incredibly famous people and spiritualism. I love spiritualism like I think
that is one of the most fascinating things
we could probably do an entire series on spiritual ism because it was like a 70 year trend, and it like kept changing and it's been around for forever
and it's still kind of around the close TV psychics are doing yes apps things like
this has been going on for forever, but it was huge in 1848. And we're going to talk about Harry Houdini and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, and their friendship turned rivalry turned murder question mark.
Did Arthur Conan Doyle steal Sherlock Holmes from Houdini?
Did Houdini steal him from from Conan Doyle and claim it was his?
Did he dress up as Sherlock Holmes and not give him credit?
Yes, Houdini was the original cosplayer and it made Sherlock Holmes so mad that he never added him and he was tweets.
was a disappointing time back then
thankfully, we've evolved evolved so much. So I'm gonna like do super fast like spiritualism in a nutshell, is it? It's been around for forever like you talked about there's always been mediums people trying to talk to the dead people who claim they had connections to the other side. I do it's been going around for forever, but it got really popular in America and Europe in 1848 when the fox sisters started reforming, and which by the way, they were frauds, admitted self admitted frauds. I actually know
who the fox sisters are but not be as of anything I learned in school. It's because we listened to podcasts yet
and it's outside the spiritualist movement movement was overflowing with frauds, hucksters con men,
brilliant people who need to capitalize on a situation.
Yes, and, and some of it was just like it's laughably stupid by today's standards. People would say Okay, everybody Close your eyes and at something spooky is going to happen. And then they get up and make spooky noises very quietly or they would say, Okay, leave me alone in this room and come back and you'll see that there's something magic
has happened. Wait, isn't that first thing just what guided meditation is? Yeah. So we still do that we just call it mindfulness now,
but it was hugely popular. The popularity of it dipped around 1900. But after everybody lost relatives and loved ones in World War One and from the Spanish influenza, it became very popular again, and that's where our story picks up. Okay, so Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, you may know him from his from Sherlock Holmes
didn't mention it earlier
world's greatest detective known for being highly logical and finding an explanation for everything and you got 404 and two little babies.
It makes up for the one that I opened. These are miniature boxes. I'm showing it to my microphone like it.
I got a box only have one Little bit earlier but this one has four and
too many. This is the best. You're eating the babies. You gotta let him go so they can grow big and strong. You bought veal? No, I've had a vealit just tastes like steak. I don't get it.
I don't get it either. Well, it's a talking about southcom Doyle retrologue combs, his most famous character, he also some other stuff, but he's always been interested in the paranormal and stuff his entire life. He was a member of a very exclusive club of British notability called the ghost Club, which was about like, you know, the paranormal and supernatural and hanging out in a fancy club doing fancy club things. So there's a there was a rumor that he got into spiritualism because his son died in World War One. That's not true. He had actually been involved in it well before his son's death, and his son was also involved in it with him before he died. So he did not become like a big, crazy media guy.
can we prove that he wasn't a time traveler and did it that way. I mean, we can never prove these not a time traveler. We can travel back in Destroy the evidence.
We can't prove that anyone's not a time traveler.
So he was big into Christian spiritualism. He was like super super Jesus he, it was a new revelation and these mediums were sent by God's provide solace to the bereaved,
like on us
like Kanye West. So Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was the original Kanye West.
No, no, he was a follower of Kanye West.
His son's nanny, he thought was a psychic. And he also thought that mental illness was caused by spirits. That still goes around. I mean, cruise. Those are aliens alien spirits. I'm so confused by scientology. Ghost test thing too. And you got ghosts in your blood. You know,
they used to stand in Copley Square in Boston when I lived there. I'm sure they still do. I'm sure they didn't just follow me here or anything. And give ethical say we're going to take a ghost test.
That's like a ghost test would be like Okay, yeah, it's like an old name this ghost. Oh, that's Casper. Well done, sir. Going, please. So keep going. Right then we're also Harry Houdini, who was born Eric Weiss. He made his name less Jewish because it was the 1920s. And people were awful. He is the world's most famous magician. And he was also really interested in the spiritual ism stuff. But mostly because he was debunking it because he thought at first he thought it was this is nice that people are doing this to provide some like solace to people. It doesn't hurt. But over time, he became more and more jaded to it and was debunking a lot of frauds. But he was also he kind of wanted it to be real to especially after the death of his mother. I am saying that he wanted it to be real, but he didn't want to be fooled by what he was a member of a Scientific American panel that was offering a gigantic prize $25,000 Oh damn, which in today's money is roughly 12,000 ouija boards.
We do all of our buying and selling around here and ouija board.
It's true. It's been it's made paying the mortgage very difficult.
Yeah, the bank's not into it but then we brought them one of our really good media board so now they don't get a choice
and we made spooky noises another scared of us
often does all of our spooky noises
I do. So he debunk a lot of frauds at this time. My favorite was a was a medium called mina kramden, who was able to produce a spirit hand out of the ether. Well, I've heard about her there's photos. Oh, there's a reason. The spirit hand was not a spirit hand. It was a piece of beef liver that she was storing in her vagina.
That's gonna give her the worst yeast infection in history.
Yeah, but she was making bank so and another one he did was Joaquin. I grabbed my sia. She was a Spanish guy. He had extra eyes because he would be able to see cards and see through his blindfold. He was peeking under his blindfold. That's what he was doing. That's all of his trick was he was peeking under his blindfold, being very sneaky. Looking at cards. That was his entire stick. Houdini like this program. I hate magicians. Okay? You may hate magicians, but Houdini was really awesome. He kind of like those like showmanship skill practice,
and he really couldn't be any magician. No, that's the thing. It's when I watch like America's Got Talent. I'm legitimately afraid of these people. Because I, I mean, I was a teacher for a long time. I'm pretty observant, and I can't figure out how the good ones do it. So I hate them because I'm scared of them and don't understand them. Which is, I guess how a lot of horrible things have happened in history, but I don't plan on doing any kind of cooling of magicians. Well, I mean, you kind
of share it because It would get rid of all of the installs.
Yeah. What is it that these guys who make videos about hating women and why they shouldn't be allowed to do anything? They do all look like sales magician.
Yeah. So Houdini was not one that we could meet. He was pretty cool. Houdini interrupt when it couldn't go became friends when they came in 1920. They had their shared interest in spiritual ism. They corresponded a bit they wrote back and forth. They were both incredibly famous. So they kind of had like a weird bromance thing going through Arthur Conan Doyle was interested in finding scientific proof of his beliefs, so and so as Houdini, but Sir Arthur Conan Doyle that the Harry Houdini was actually magic. And he was like unconsciously doing all of this magic stuff under the guise of his tricks, and Houdini just didn't realize the extent of his own innate magical power.
See, that's how I feel about these magicians on TV.
He didn't even explain that he was doing these tricks to him and Doyle went believe him.
That's his TV with Man, they're they all went to Hogwarts. They're hiding in plain sight.
What do we do about that you bumping these frauds was great at first, because it was like, Oh yeah, these great to get these frauds out of here then we'll leave only the actual ones behind and it'll give more legitimacy to the real psychics and they have less people fooling everybody.
I like that.
Yeah, it was it was great at first they actually they put on a show together where he did he did some amazing magic stuff is escape artists and all those things. Then Sir Arthur Conan Doyle went up to him by playing a prank. They had recently filmed his movie The last World based on his book
The Lost World, which is not a Sherlock Holmes. It's not
a Sherlock Holmes, but he wrote another thing. So the sci fi is about dinosaurs. Well, they had claymation dinosaurs in this film, and he claimed that this was actual like film footage a shot in South America. Everybody freaked out until he revealed revealed was actually a prank This is upcoming movie. Doyle would play some jokes to he was not just a like crazy sex stick in the mud. So that was like they actually crunch together and it was hilarious. This happened, Doyle introduced Houdini, all of these psychics, and Houdini never bought it. You actually would write about it and diaries and letters about how he just didn't believe any of this stuff, and then come back to haunt him later when their friendship broke apart. Because they were friends for years, not like best friends. They were like, Christmas letter friends, they write to each other back and forth. It was like a very casual friendship. But in 1922, Lady Doyle who had the gift, she would do automatic writing. Oh, yeah, I know what that is. Which automatic writing is. Could you explain it because
it's just automatic writing is basically when you're channeling a spirit. And you are writing down the messages that are coming to you. Whatever they're saying it's coming out kind of in first person and your handwriting doesn't look like yours. And
yeah, it's kind
of all over the place. It's basically a Weegee board, but without the board.
It kind of reminds me of like, when you're like When you are like really, really tired and you just start talking, whatever is coming to your head is immediately going
down. I am channeling the spirits during that
you are and they mostly want nachos. And to
find out if the Kathy bars are okay.
The candy bars are okay and no they don't have books. But in one country they're considered fish during Lent, they are considered fish during length. Well anyway, she had the gift and she did some automatic writing and it was a message from Harry Houdini his deceased mother. She made us get past pages and pages of these messages from Houdini's mother to Harry Houdini. Doyle thought this would be all the proofreading to finally fully believe this is real because his wife had the gift and there was no way this is fake. It did not convince Houdini because of a few things. First of all, Houdini's mother did not speak much English. Second, she was Jewish, and the descriptions of angels and the heavens and all of the crosses that lady Doyle drew and also the Matic reading took place on his mother's birthday. And Houdini thought it was strange that his mother did not mention that it was her birthday and all these pages of letters.
Maybe she didn't want the attention because getting older is embarrassing.
He mentioned this to boil and boil brush it off. It's like well, you know spirits don't care for the earthly calendar. And she must have converted that learned English in heaven. That was kind of like the nail in the coffin for his belief in spiritual ism and it just like he believed he believed that they believed I hate that phrase, but it's it works because like, Oh, it's like, I don't want to crush like my friend's wife.
See, I feel like I believe that you believe is basically the most crushing thing you can say because they literally just hold you they believe this Yeah, so that I don't think you're lying that you believe in it. I think you're lying about everything in your belief system say that to him. But he did
write about it in his diary that he thought it's like, I don't buy it.
Dear diary. I don't like my friend Arthur anymore. Is
it Later that group work hence when sir Conan Doyle, like viciously attacks like not like physically but like in writing.
He thinks the Hound of the Baskervilles on him get
a another debunker Harry price, who approved that spirit, a bunch of spirit photography, and other things were fake, which after off Conan Doyle was famously tricked by the cottingley fairies. Yeah, that the pic the they're making these photographs of these fairies, but it was photographs of cardboard cutouts of fairies, their
their beautiful photographs, but it was, you know, they were fakes. So Sir Arthur Conan Doyle convinced 84 researchers working at the National Lab of physics research to resign because there were members of his various societies. It was a lot of bad press. It was just brutal and vicious because this guy had debunked some things rather kind of lived in. So Houdini decided it was time for an intervention. He made one last attempt to get through to him that maybe that Everything you believe is completely real. So he put on a personal magic show for sir Conan Doyle, in which he showed him these tricks explained to him step by step how he did it. He broke so many rules of magic. Try to get through this guy's like you never taught people how to do your tricks.
He broke the magician,
the magician magician's crow code, which I'm assuming he wrote because
he was the best, their illusion illusion. Oh,
Michael. It didn't convince him he was still convinced that Houdini was actually magic, even though he explained to him how he did it and demonstrated it and showed all of the secrets to his tricks
that basically the best way to go to stay hidden as a real wizard,
that is exactly what Doyle said.
See Doyle nice same page with this. So this
is like Houdini gave up at this point. But from from Doyle didn't give up on Houdini until he saw an interview or read an interview in which he didn't he said I've never seen a convict Seeing spiritual encounter, he'd seen his wife spiritual encounter. And like it was a Mari moment that Doyle described Houdini as a greedy jealous sorcerer covering his own magic as tricks and dampening the gifts of others with his own power. Because you know that's really part was power was was he would go to these real spiritualists who did have the gift and that his presence would mute it and make it less effective so he would not be able to see it. So he was really greedy, mad kind of cover up the magic of the world to protect himself and so he could be the best magician. Houdini was talking about how Doyle was a little bit senile and delusional and easily fooled. Oh, at this point. Yeah. So it went into a full on few it even to the point where Houdini was being attacked by every spiritualists at this point because he wrote a book about how like, all of these are frauds and he's actually writing about A book about how religion is also a fraud with the help of HP Lovecraft, the world's favorite racist old windbag, but he's writing a book about how religion was fake when he died. The book was never published.
Because whatever God was out there was not pleased about it killed him and didn't allow that to be published.
So when Houdini died in 1926 Sir Arthur Conan Doyle claimed a psychic told him of Houdini's death the night it happened. People have been predicting Houdini's death for years and another psychic also predicted Houdini's death which by the way, he died on Halloween.
If he was he drowned in the box?
No, no, he, he got punched in the stomach, and it ruptured his appendix. They also read through conspiracy theory that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle had Houdini assassinated
by a random AUDIENCE MEMBER during the show, right. He just happened to pick
the audience because he had been predicting Houdini's death and been talking about it. And they had been publicly fighting for a while.
So every audience member was actually there to appendix punch him.
Well, it was a it was a, it was a fighter who came up and like kind of surprised them with the punches. He wasn't expecting it. So they think that he was sent by the spirit of these societies because, you know, he was, he had a lot of rich connections. He could have had this guy sent through all these bad channels to get there. But it's getting to the point where in 2007, Houdini, his great nephew tried to have zoomed to look for signs of foul play like a poisoning or anything else other than that punch it, he was not granted that. This is pretty neat, though. Another spooky thing. Houdini and his wife had an agreement in which they had a series of code words that they would say if one of them died to the other, and his wife for 10 years on Halloween, would do seances try and make contact with Harry Houdini. It never happened even though one of them did actually. Kind of tricked them and learn about what these code words me and try to fool her. But they figured it out. And it's even used today. It's like no he didn't he didn't make contact. They just tried to cover it up for 10 years tried to make contact with him. And after 10 years she gave up she has 10 years as long enough to wait for any man.
Do 10 minutes is long enough to wait for any man. You got an attender day, he's 10 minutes late you leave. So
that was the friendship and rivalry of Harry Houdini answer Arthur Conan Doyle, which is so weird that the world's most famous magician was the voice of reason trying to disprove all of the spiritualists and the man famous for writing one of the most logical detectives just wouldn't blindly believe all of this stuff.
Yet that's I've actually read all of the Sherlock Holmes books. And there are cases that seem like magic and he purposely goes through and debunks everything How'd it I know that's what that's why I did this because it's like this is just so weird if he started writing that after he met Houdini then oh gosh, I don't think so.
Because that seems like sure what be based on Houdini if that's the case, maybe I don't think Houdini did so much of heroin.
Was it heroin was an opium
I don't know. I actually okay. I don't remember that actually really being referenced in the books in any way. I think that might be more of a interpretations pop culture thing. It might
be just so many iterations Sherlock Holmes.
Yeah, just guys, if you haven't, audible has the Sherlock Holmes books and they're really well done and they're really good. You should you should read them or listen to them. Yeah, don't let
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's weird personal life throw you off of what are some amazing books to read.
Don't let Tony Stark try to convince you that he is also Sherlock Holmes.
Those movies are entertaining and that's why The best bromances on film, but don't. So are you ready for a question or two?
Yep. Our questions are Will This Be On The Test not answering the questions. Okay, Will This Be On the Test?
Will the fact that Harry Houdini died on Halloween test?
Yeah, we like dates
will the fact that he and his wife had an agreement to try and contact each other after their death with codewords.
The on a test probably not because we tend to end stories when they die.
Well, the fact that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the author of Sherlock Holmes, believed in spiritual ism and like all this afterlife stuff and was tricked on many occasions be on the test.
Not the turkey on many occasions part probably, but the rest of it kind of depends on the teacher and how much they delve into the authors over the bucks.
Will the fact that somebody convinced people she was magic by hiding a cut up beef liver and her vagina be on the test
good go Going back to my topic last week, I feel like that would be on there for somebody who's talking about the Barnum effect or something. Guys, guys, sometimes it's just beef in the vagina. I feel
like we could probably agree an entire podcast of bad woman's anatomy that we learned in school.
What do you mean? It's like,
Hey, here's a neat trick. It's like put some beef living in China and you convince people you're magic.
It always comes back to Pliny the Elder, doesn't he plenty the elder say that that was
the only way to cure feline distemper. So that was mine. I am I'm excited. What are you doing?
I am doing poison Halloween candy. He's
gasps as he eats some Halloween candy.
So we grew up before trunk or treating, which is what it is now from or treating, which is when people go to parking lots and get candy out of people's trunks, which I'm sorry it's not inherently stranger danger. gups the guy the man who was candy we were warned never to get through
it out of people's cars like it's like don't care if they say they have candy you don't go up to that white van.
I think next Halloween we should just rent a giant white van and participate in as many trunk or treats as became a sign that says free candy on the side and see people still come to us. Well, we went door to door we did the door to door trick or treating. Yep. You were still out when it was dark out. You need to look out for cars and back then cars need to look out for you. Yeah, cars, drove very slowly on Halloween with their high beams on watching out for kids. Not so much during trick or treating, as we see and we'll talk about in a second
run over in my own driveway.
We went door to door no one died. That may sound like a back in my day thing but it's not it's back in your day. It's back in your parents day. It's an everyone's day because exactly zero kids have been poisoned, seriously injured or given any kinds of disease by trick or treating. Period.
this may sound like a weird thing to be on the podcast. But when we were young, both our parents and we were being told in school out of school that everyone was out to get us on Halloween, everyone's gonna poison our candy put razor blades and whatever. couldn't trust anybody unless you were selling wrapping paper to support something at your school of course, then go out the door with your school shirt on tell the strangers your name and the activity you're involved with at that school, and then ask them for money. It's fine. No one wants to kidnap you just spend money on things to kill you but never actually see the results. You know, like all murderers do they don't ever want to see the things they murdered? Oh, no. Yeah, it just seems weird to me. That That they were telling us to not go trick or treating because our neighbors were going to poison us. But we should go there some stuff by telling them our name and our school and our activity. because no one's going to kidnap you. They're just going to murder you on one day out of the year. Yeah, we were told to not go trick or treating. And if we were allowed to every piece of candy had to be inspected by your parents.
Oh, well, they could even bring it into the x rayed.
That's newer. I think that didn't happen when I was younger. At least it does. Now I actually mentioned that briefly later. The candy that was not fully inflated was always in the no pile because that meant it could have been tampered with. So why were we told these things? I think it was because mom wanted to steal your races. It's true races has the worst flimsiest packaging that's most likely to be popped in the bag. That's the best candy that you can really get on Halloween because no one has Heath bars. So mom's just like, Oh no, it's poison. Yeah, and also because The media loves to get ratings. So we were told us we were never I was never told that. But I was told to make sure to put your candy up high so the dog doesn't get into it. See, that doesn't work with our dog. I think he could fly. So Oh my God, my parents
were more concerned about the dog getting of the chocolate. They worry about me being murdered by our neighbors by with very expensive candies.
Our dog for like two years running, ate all of our Halloween candy. All of it, we put it a high he was not a particularly agile dog. And he wasn't a small dog that could leap on the counters. No idea how he got it. Never got sick from it, even though it's mostly chocolate but our yard completely full of brightly colored wrapping papers inside of dogshit for day.
So there's a book that I actually kind of want to read from the library. I just read snippets from it online called can be a century of panic. Ooh, We learned that this story the poison candy has been around since the Industrial Revolution. This happened then because food they stopped making locally. It used to be you would go to the corner bakery or the corner, whatever to get your treats, or your mom would make them at home. And now everything is being made in places that they couldn't see jobs are being taken away because of it. And even doctors get up got it on it saying, Oh, yeah, every day I'm treating kids for eating poison candy, not just on Halloween every day. But
this kid needs to stop eating all that candy. Maybe was just diabetes, because he ate nothing but candy.
But the fact is, none of this is true. Nobody's candy was being poisoned. It came down to the manufacturing process at the time. Shockingly, we're not up to today's codes. And so we ended up with contaminants in there. Hello, okay. And the doctors were not treating kids every day. And saying that they were being poisoned was just wrong. It was. And also the kids if they did get sick, usually were not because of that, like you said, it's because they ate too much and had ingested.
And plus, I mean, this is like Industrial Revolution times. So these are kids working 18 hours a day in a factory, they weren't healthy.
This still happens on Halloween every year. The kids, you know, they ended up real sick, and it's because they ate too much candy candy is awesome. That book goes on to say that, you know, hundred or whatever years later in the 1960s and 70s, for fears amplified because of racial integration and women working outside the home.
Okay, I am not following logic here.
Well, there are people who don't look like us around so they must be trying to kill our children. And if these women cared enough about their kids, they would be staying home. If they're working, then why would they care enough about the candy and other treats they're giving out to other people's kids. At the very least they're not cleaning their kitchens well enough. What's funny is that the two known cases of candy being tampered with, in any real way were done by men that tracks in either case did a stranger die. And in fact, in one of those two cases, no one was supposed to die.
And the other just like a prank poisoning was like, actually, kind of
the majority of them are but I'll get onto that in a second. The one that one in 1959 a dentist gave candy coated laxatives two children assume it's because he's a dentist and candy gives you cavity 30 kids had the appropriate laxative reaction. 30 Oh god, no one suffered long term damage, except I assume the psychological damage their parents had to go through after cleaning that up.
Oh, no. We're walking to They're a trick or treating it like candy then
I'm assuming just like me you eat all of your candy as your trick or treat I
wasn't allowed to we had to have it inspected. See, that's
that's a fool's game. That's why he Oh, good stuff.
They can't take it away. That's true. I lost all my research that way
to explain why I'm so resilient the poisons now adult.
He didn't have charged with child endangerment and another crime that I forgot to write down, but it was pretty lame. So he got me for it. There was another case where someone got in trouble for putting weird things in candy. She was in 1964 was a woman. This is not someone who was trying to poison kids. Like I said, the cases of people trying to poison the children. And the one case I could find of them finding sharp things, all men, so the whole working women thing is bullshit. She didn't like the fact that teenagers were trick or treating. She thought it was only for young kids. So to the teenagers, she would give things that were not edible like dog treats steel wool and clearly labeled and poison. It said poison in big letters on it. She wasn't trying to poison anybody. She was not trying to hurt anybody the steel wool the dog treats were not disguised as candy. No one got hurt because nobody was dumb enough to eat the steel wool or the clearly labeled poison. She got charged with child endangerment as well. But for charge people who give non food objects to kids on Halloween, then why don't we charging everybody who gave me a goddamn toothbrush or a penny as a kid? Or got the
erasers that looked like candy?
Yeah, that's dangerous, huh? And they were always disappointing when you discovered they were racers suddenly
all the other non food stuff to like raisins.
Oh God, the vampire team that don't fit in your mouth or the wax lips. Oh,
it's like what on earth thought wax lips was a treat.
We have them weirdly frequently in my childhood, my house but they were just funny. Like it was you put him up. You're like, look at my giant red lips and they were funny then you chew on them because it was fun. It was a fun texture to chew on. I guess. I can only find one incidence of somebody putting sharp objects and candy. Another man, just saying not the working woman. It was in 2000. He put needles and Snickers bars. One kid got a tiny poke in his mouth. Nobody else got hurt. There are suggestions that other incidents happen in which nobody was was hurt then but I couldn't find any actual reports. Except for the incidences of kids dying after eating Halloween candy from unrelated, unrelated illnesses. In one case, a girl's parents even told the police that their parents, their daughter had a serious medical condition. That is likely what happened to her. They told the police that obviously you know you call 911 when your kid collapses. You get questioned by the police when your kid collapses. They said our daughter has a heart condition. The media still said she poisoned kitty instances are fake and made up or exaggerated by the media. They just decided that because she died after eating Halloween candy, it must have been poisoned candy. What it's actually just a very sad situation. There are two incidences incidents incident tie that could actually be considered things that contribute to this. In 1970, a five year old boy in Detroit died after eating heroin, which his uncle had just left lying around. The family didn't want the uncle to get in trouble for the heroin that their kid ate. So they sprinkle it on the kids Halloween candy and said he ate it in the candy. Yeah, that was proven to be alive and everybody got in trouble. And so this five year old dies the family's like oh, better protect the uncle.
don't protect heroin uncle. I mean, it's like I understand protecting your family. But if your uncle or I guess brother for that person, whoever is on heroin In
and leaves it in a place where a child can find it and consume it. Now let's go. We get that. Addiction is a complicated issue, but I think when your five year old dies because of it, you get to be pissed. Yeah. Four years later in 1974, a boy actually did die because of cyanide and his pixie sticks, which he got on Halloween from his dad, his dad, one of the $40,000 life insurance payout on his kid. So he gave the candy to him and a few other kids, including his daughter. None of the other pixie sticks got eaten. The cops figured it out real fast and confiscated all the pixie sticks from the neighborhood. His kid died no one else was hurt and his intention was not to poison the other kids. It was just to collect the life insurance on his own son because he was a great dad.
Regardless, these things were exaggerated into being multiple incidences saying that I know it's not it incidents By news and even advice columnist Who are the people who are relied on in some ways more than the news is advice columnist? Yeah, Dear Abby said this is happening. Dear Abby, like we rely on you. I'll tell you I don't think dear pretty would ever say that. They're saying everyone is poisoning your kids. Everyone is dangerous. Not a single person just enjoys how happy the kids are and wants to like, see that joy that they experienced as a kid to to make things worse teaching this because we still teach it gets taught in school. This is all dangerous. You shouldn't do it. The news is saying you shouldn't do it. Police are saying let me X ray your candy for metal which my tax dollars are paying for all of them.
And like even like the stupid ones like number are dangerous psychopaths injecting HIV infected blood and your Halloween candy.
I mentioned that in a second.
I remember I remember that news like trailer, that as a kid, it's like, even then, like, this is stupid.
I feel like they should introduce like, are they doing this and get you get on your watch the news. So, yeah, just say, are they injecting it Now, moving on. Moving on to real news. Teaching is actually proving to be dangerous, as opposed to say it being something helpful and harmless. It's actually a dangerous thing. Much more dangerous than your neighbors and their Milk Duds or even their homemade treats that used to be the norm.
I love popcorn balls
since 1959, there have been approximately 80 instances of sharp objects in Halloween bags. people heard these stories, the ones in the school, the ones on the news, and thought it'd be a funny joke to play. parents would put sharp things in their kids bags, friends of the kids and put sharp things in the backs. No one's gonna seriously injured but someone could be because you hear this is happening. Oh, I'm going to do this. It's not a great dad joke to stick a steak knife in the candy bed because guess what, you lose a finger or lose a steak knife. And we're still kids hear these stories and see the adults reacting to it and they start putting shit in their own candy and making themselves sick because they want that attention or they start faking second like best case scenario they're faking it or they put something sharp in their own thing and cut their mouth up because they see the attention that the story's get and they want and on the intention, adults do stuff for attention to this my little sidetracked related to what you said, we saw how well this can work recently. It wasn't a Halloween story. It was the AIDS infected bananas. Oh my god. Yes. There was a kid and this happened a few times at one of them happened out and I think like Independence, Missouri.
Yeah, its independence or liberty,
something like that.
Nana had read in it parents lose their shit take them to the hospital bring the banana to be inspected medically
tested the dead bananas DNA
posted all over Facebook that it had immediately because blood testing is an immediate thing especially in identified as blood in that they had found needle puncture marks on the outside of the banana but you wouldn't be able to see mean you can't see a tiny you can see the giant red mark left by my flu shot. still glad I got the flu shot.
Yeah, that's cool. I can't see my phone my spot anymore from where
you can't see a needle mark and these people are on Facebook said, my kid, the bloody bananas and they're going to get the AIDS also not how you get paid. It was for the attention more than anything else they went on. And they framed it as this is a public service I'm doing and also the poor people who worked in the store had to peel and inspect every single banana which honestly if the cops actually thought This was a thing they would have done themselves. Now there's a fungus or something that
yes, I guess that causes the red, the red coloration of
bananas and it just looks gross. It can't hurt you. Yeah, you could eat 20 of those bananas and you'd be succeeding 20 bananas. Yeah. Anyway, that just goes back to the whole people see the panic these kinds of stories induce and they want in on it. And I'm not saying it's a conscious thing going, Oh, I want this attention. Well, kids, they're also not consciously thinking I want the attention but part of the brain is gone. I want the attention. So I'm going to put a razor blade in my can be this year. The big worry seems to be edibles. edibles. If you don't know our candies that are made with marijuana. Marijuana isn't legal where we live. And I've always been super straight edge often new me in high school, he can attest to the fact that I was the love that you would call if you were at a party and needed someone to pick you up. I was not the one doing the party. Anyway. I don't know how much pot costs because of this then or now, but I have a feeling it's much more expensive than just buying candy and that people aren't going to want to spend that kind of money. Oh,
it's like these are expensive, expensive gummy bears.
Even in the right kind of, I don't know Are they in the right kind of miniature packaging where people wouldn't think it was weird. Are you going to have gummy bears in a Ziploc baggie though I've seen them they're
like they're in like like glass jars the lid on it? You're not going to be mistakenly handing that out at a help trick or treaters.
There are cases where kids have gotten into those were pets have gotten into those. It's not strangers, it's in their own houses. So if you have them, put them away.
Yeah. Like treat them like you would your pornography. Or your guns. Oh wait, nevermind. This is America, treat them more securely than you would your guns.
So that's not going to happen. There are no instances of happening as
it shoots expensive. You don't want to waste that on kids.
Yeah. And people were even starting to worry about that back when people could only get it medically. I'm like, Yes, people aren't willing to hand out their prescription. In 2017 it was more hyped up because people interpreted what the St. Louis DEA said as a warning that this was going to happen or was happening because they were saying, this is how you look for candy that is actually drugs. They had also noticed that there was an uptick in things they've been finding that were pot and misplaced candy. I didn't know you could laced candy with mess, or you can list anything with math. We looked up today though, and we are off the top 10 list for mesh states. Yeah, we finally heard
Okay, Missouri can't even make enough math now.
It's like come on, we're
outsourcing all of damn foreigners taking all our best
jobs. People were decided the DA was saying it's gonna happen. They were actually just saying we've noticed an uptick in edible creation around Here, there were zero threats as far as I could find. They never filed charges about that. It was just we've noticed this uptick. This is how to tell the difference. Yeah,
it's like there's more animals around. So before you eat that strange bag of candy you find in your uncle's refrigerator. This is how you know it's drugs.
Yeah. And apparently, you consume them in huge amounts. You can't tell even if it's math for a good while if your kid is taking it. So yeah, if your uncle has some weird candy in his house, assume it's meth or pot or heroin until you learn otherwise.
Oh my god by trying to educate people about what drug candy looks like. They're moving so many sitcom like misunderstanding plots where it's like, oh, no, grandma ate my pot brownies.
So now here we are. We we bought a house three or so years ago. This is I think our third Halloween here. Yeah. Obviously in my top three reasons to ever own a house with trick or treaters. I know
the kids with their with their costume. Get candy and they're excited.
They're so happy they're having and we loved Halloween. We still do. But I some of my best memories. I remember being being at one year and it started to snow and it was so exciting. I remember the first time I was allowed to be the big kid and not have to have an adult with me. It's just it's just these really great landmarks and we don't This will be our third Halloween here. We've had a grand total of two kids
that we've had for two groups of cats, two groups kids,
they made out like fucking bandits from us because we dumped our candy bowls and now we keep full or king sized candy bars at our house just in case but we don't get any last year. Yeah. But you know, they're keeping them safe from us. Unlike on trunk or treat day where our street is definitely not made more dangerous by the traffic or the children running through the street in mass. I'm going to look forward on Halloween when your whole neighborhood is completely covered in SUVs and mini vans. On a day that's not expected to have kids running across the road, and you can't maneuver for these vehicles in the first place and a toddler runs out in front of you. It is so much more dangerous our neighborhood or treat. We have a church up the street that Halloween could ever be.
Literally last year, I almost got hit while I was trying to mobile reckful lot leaves because someone can tear in through my neighborhood to go to trunk retreat. And I was like, dude,
so my question is, how do you know that trick or treat can be a safe trucker? Do
candy has exact same problem? It's strange candy from people you don't know that your kids picked up? I mean, there's no reason like the psychopath who's been handing out razor blades and apples all these years. Can't put those same apples in his trunk.
Yeah, and just because Okay, there are 60 cars at trunk or treat. Something happens from one of those cars unless they can find proof of the person who did it who was there. And unless they can also prove that that person The one who put that candy in their trunk and it was somebody walked by with a kid who didn't go to your church. Hmm. It just drives me nuts because I don't unless the cops are there doing their immediate drug test just like their immediate blood tests. And also X ray things with their portable X ray machine on the way in
it very, very Curie invented the portable X ray machine and one more month, because it only made them better. Yeah, it's like I don't understand how this could be 100% safer. It's, it's not. And of course, you do know for a fact there is some Karen who is walking around glaring and everyone's cars and writing up every license plate number at Trick or treat.
I'm sure they have to check in but it goes back to what I'm saying. It doesn't necessarily have to be a person with the car who put the candy in your kids that one of the people walking around holding the bag could also be dropping it that seems about as realistic as a random stranger in their house putting candy in it putting in the candy. So the panel discontinuing and trick or treating has basically stopped Yeah, trust of our neighbors seems to totally disappear on with holiday the rest of the year the other 364 days. You're supposed to trust your neighbors unless you live in an apartment building which I am on board with. I'm actually I'm afraid of all neighbors but we have I like our
it's we have a quirky little like weird old neighborhood
it's almost Gilmore Girls do not
yet except we don't have a tailored that's definitely there's no Taylor go see our neighborhood No sir.
Instead of being a day where you can, you know, even meet your neighbors for the first time. In some cases, it's comfortable the idea to poison or otherwise mess with their own candy or their kids candy as a way to make a joke or to get attention. No one has ever been seriously injured by a stranger because in this way, but the idea has become so prevalent that the holiday itself has been changed and frankly It sounds like it's gotten more exhausting to me. I don't know about your Facebook feed, but mine is nothing but parents right now who take their kids trick or treating at like 10 different places because they're involved with all these different activities that are all hosting trunk retreats, and you have to make an appearance and all of them. That sounds exhausting
do it. It's like my costume would have fallen apart because I was that kid who were the spray painted beer, beer cartons at a Transformers costume when I was a
kid. That said, Please don't stop posting your kids and Halloween costumes. Because I love it. It's adorable. They're so cute. But I also sounds expensive. Because you have to buy candy for this shit. As I understand that a lot of the time
the library. They have like a Halloween story time and all the kids show up in their costumes. And we don't give them candy because we're, too We are too terrified of lawsuits, but there's always kids in their costumes and it's like it's adorable. My favorite time
Parents are sending way more in candy now than they would have if they were just doing trick or treating because they forgot to
buy it for all these different event. Yes. And it's multiple events. So it's taking up more time.
more time, more effort, more exhaustion. This year we actually, you know, we've gone to stores we always said there's way more Halloween candy left after Halloween than there used to be. Yeah, but holding candy sales are actually going up. I have a feeling it's because they're spending so much more having more for trick or treat.
It all makes sense. Now they're just in the pocket of big candy.
They're spending Americans are expected to spend 2.6 billion with a B dollars on candy for this Halloween. Get the fuck out.
2.6 billion Easter sells more.
What? But it's just a stupid rabbit with eggs. Don't complain about a holiday where you get candy bro.
It's a holiday we get ham and there's also candy. That is one of
the few times I'm like ham. I do like love. Now here's where we get into the danger of this part to Donald Arnett, the head of epidemiology. At the University of Alabama school for public health says that the average Hall of candy so one trick or treat session, not fixed trunk or trees would take 100 pound child 14.5 hours of walking to burn off the calories. You've gone to six trunk retreats that's a lot more walking. And maybe I'm jealous the amount of candy kids are getting on the bus that sounds way less healthy than the non existent possibility of your kids getting Oh no,
that's we're absolutely jealous of the amount of candy these kids get. And the higher quality costumes.
That's it. I think the reason that we've noticed that there's so much Halloween candy left after Halloween is good trick or treats happened earlier so they have to restock. So the 50% off the next day or more abundance so the end of the day, we went Halloween
yet so we're saying his kids are getting more candy and as a result we are getting more candy at 50% off because of the results.
Alright, we've changed everything. guys keep panicking. It's everything is awful. Everyone's out to get you up. We definitely don't want to buy 50% off candy. It's not around. So I'm
actually going to break the next big panic, which I did. I did hear about this one, Millennials are going to start putting student loan debt in their candies, so make sure that when your kid goes trick or treating, they don't accidentally get student loan debt.
Seriously that there is nothing to panic about. No one is weaponizing Halloween candy. Unless they are someone who is already close to the child. Stranger Danger, just like in kidnapping is not as prevalent as loved one danger. And even both those cases kidnapping and boys and candy not likely to happen statistically. Yeah. The only reason to not go trick or treating now it's because it's been ruined. We built it. Nobody came so people are no longer buying the trick or treat candy not putting their lights on anymore because people stopped coming. Yeah, that's the only reason to not go trick or treating because it got shut down and not by the people who wanted to get out the candy.
Yeah, I remember the Halloween of September 11 I was hanging out at a friend's house because we were young. We were sophomores. So we're way too cold go trick or treating. But we're going to hand out candy and eat the leftover candy because you know, that's what you do. And no one came that was the anthrax here does the anthrax here Oh yeah, forgot about that. So we we gave up and with trick or treating, and we got so much candy. We didn't have costumes we're just gonna have like, trick or treating this year. It's like it's fine.
Go we're all going as children of the properties Trick or treat as I
mean that's a really good process like like, it's like you got a trick or treaters we have it. Well, maybe your kids go trick or treating. It's fine. Look at us. We're not dead
at the end To not check the candy because people are gross and you don't want to like if you're seeing gross stuff on the candy or like free roaming candy in the bag, throw it away because your kids jam hands have been in there. But really it's just to steal the good stuff for yourself.
Actually, I'm going to actually go out of the line and say I am in favor of expecting candy because remember, it's something gross to happen with Halloween candy. There was an old church lady who would buy like candy the year before when it was cheap and just keep it in her house and give it to the next year
and like the can't the chocolate was like all like white grows and dried out if you've got like cheap old ladies check that candy although I also I read and I put this any excellent really relevant her she starts putting out their Halloween candy six months in advance.
Yeah, so like, this candy that I'm getting right now. Is that purchase? Is she she's Oh no. What is her? What is a kid company
it is the Hershey Company we can call them toll free weekdays from nine to four Eastern to ask when this was made.
Oh, so it's probably Oh,
the orange background color on Reeses is a registered trademark. So you can't use that on stuff, guys.
Oh, no, that exact orange. Oh, damn, our podcast is ruined.
Our curtains are this color.
Our president is that color?
Let's get into these questions. Okay,
I've got five of them. five questions of Glenn. I'm hopped up on sugar.
Will the fact that no one is actually in danger beyond the test? No,
because children must be afraid at all times.
Sorry, don't hit me a second later.
There's ghosts in your blood kids. Be afraid.
Well, the fact that the one documented incident of a stranger in any way injuring someone with tempered candy. Well, the fact that they were a dentist gave the kids the shifts beyond the test.
Only for shits and giggles. No, that wouldn't be on the test.
Well, the fact that it's parents poisoning or poisoning their kids or the kids injuring themselves, and it's not being done by strangers be on the test.
Oh, man, that's a tough one. I'm gonna say no, because you need to trust teachers and parents. But also Yes, because kids must be afraid of all this.
Well, the fact that will take 14.5 hours of walking to get rid of the calories be on the test
when Michelle Obama was the first lady, yes, but with the current one, no, because it's not about the cyber bullied, but taking off those calories is about being best. It is. Maybe you won't get cyber bullied if you're not full of candy. If you are not full of chocolate Deuter
Simpsons reference and then most importantly, will the fact that your mom is hiding the good candy in one of her drawers and eating it herself beyond the test
Yes it will because kids this year, you need to stand up by trick or treating and also take back your candy from your mom's drawer.
You really did all the work you did all the walking but this is only if you went actual triggered reading because if you went trick or treating your parents did all the work to
yeah you go trick or treating your parents are going to try a 10% candy tax on that. That's reasonable. It's like super reasonable like the driving you they bought the costume.
And they do all the walking with you and they have to socialize so much at trunk or tree. Oh, and there's
like, there's like all these like them. Like all the parent group dynamics.
exhausting parents. We don't know how you do it. It's like so much parental politics. Yep.
So maybe parents this year instead of having to look at Janet's brand new fucking BMW and hear a talk about how her husband made partner this year. Maybe syndicator retreating and sit home and drink.
Wine exists on Halloween just as much as any other holiday or as we discovered Austin's hard ciders exist. Yep. Austin bought those for our party last night.
I only bought them because they were Austin's hard ciders
and Austin doesn't drink awesome does but
they still got they got drank last night. There's three left there's a rosy hard cider and I feel like the spirit of basic white woman and habits that drink
that's what we all were saying as we drank them is that world basic bitches so we're going to be drinking these and they were pretty good.
It's it helps if instead of putting the Canada koozie you put it into an Ugg boot.
That is what we were all doing last night. We we actually carry extra Ugg boots just in case we ever come across Rosie. So that's why women carry such big purses. Do you know that it's just in case we encounter pumpkin spice lattes or Where there
is a pumpkin spice rose a you that's disgusting but you know people will buy it.
Welcome you to leave you tonight with that thought the idea of pumpkin spice for Jose.
Yeah. So what did you learn? Today?
I learned that there was this epic rivalry between Harry Houdini and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. And I think I'd heard that Harry Houdini and his wife had code words because that's the kind of podcast I listened to were those ones. I didn't know that somebody found out the words and then tried to trick him because that is the meanest thing that is so yeah, me that it's just I don't care how much money you're gonna make. That's hateful.
Yeah, that is awful. When you learn, I learned that the one time someone actually poisoned strangers. It was a dentist and he just made kids shit. Further to not touch was it Jeremy jam from Parks and Recreation headcanon now you can't fix that.
See, I was thinking it was the dentist from Little Shop of Horrors.
You're watching that Little Shop of Horrors video from earlier
yet. There's a video guys from the California production on the James Corden show. If you haven't seen it, it's amazing. Even if you're not a musical fan, it's amazing.
And then they're doing another one that's got Groffsauce.
It does. That was off Broadway in New York right now
with with our grace sauce in it. Who is he playing? Seymour
He'd be a great dentist.
He would be a great dentist. I don't know who else is in the cast. I looked at the capitalist earlier and then forgot, because that's how my brain works. But yeah, watch the video from the coordinates show. There are no videos from the graph soft show, probably because it's actively on stage right now. Little Shop of Horrors. Also a really good musical to watch Halloween if you don't want something that's too scary, but it's got a good story. It's got good music. And Rick maraniss and Steve partner and Let's watch that
actually, you know, since we're gonna rock what recommended good Halloween movies, I'm going to recommend the thing, the original one with the all of the great practical effects horror and blood grossness. JOHN Carpenter's The thing I recommend it for Halloween.
Can we use that to trick somebody into saying into believing it video we shot in South America or whatever.
I wish we could maybe like if we traveled back in time, and then showed someone the thing it's like, yeah, this happened in Antarctica, don't go to Antarctica. So put the thing in your child's candy.
Alright guys, we've been rambling on for a long time tonight. Last episode, I cut 18 minutes. So maybe it won't be that long, but we'll let you go enjoy your Halloween. It's the best holiday. Don't be afraid to trick or treat. And let us know what you wore for Halloween because there's nothing better than a good costume. Whether you're two years old or 200
years old costumes are the best costumes are so much fun
Will This Be On the Test 1:04:06
and Class dismissed.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai