Will This Be on the Test? Transcripts
Hi everybody and welcome to Will This Be On the Test? I'm Maddie. I'm Austin. And we are here to teach you all of the things that you didn't learn or didn't learn correctly in school. All of them in this episode
everything we're starting with a ever going on through Z and then on to the weird Russian letters and then on to all of the other languages.
And hold on to your hats, kids, because we're going to teach you all about carrying the one
like carrying the one like Neo from the matrix.
I am not going to teach any kids to carry Keanu Reeves Keanu does not need your assistance.
That man's a goddamn treasure.
I'll tell you I've been seeing all over Facebook, these parents who are trying to help their kids with math and they're saying kids don't even know what carry the one means. And I was a teacher for many years, but certainly not a math teacher. kids would ask me for math help. And I mean, I can do middle school level math. I couldn't help them but there was never an opportunity to carry the one and anything I helped them with what do they do? Dead?
I don't know. It's like I saw an explanation of how they do it. Now, it makes no sense to me. It might as well be Greek like, do they add us extra steps and like, do some addition at the bottom? They added some extra steps because well, this is it's a stupid reason. And let's just go back to teaching it the old way.
Back in my day, we learned math the right way kids nowadays have it's so easy with their extra steps that their parents and theater teachers can't help them with. Yeah,
kids, there's a calculator app on your phone. And that's all you need to
know about mathematics. No, it's not that photo. That photo cannot do most things. a graphing calculator on the other. There's a graphing calculator app there is Yeah, did you know of course there is okay. When was the last time you saw me willingly do math.
Yesterday we're playing a board game.
Oh my god. We played last cities yesterday. He read the rules out loud to me. And at three points asked me if I wanted to play something else because of the look on my face as he read. The rule was partway between I smell a fart, and this is bullshit. I want to go home. So basically the face Jessica was making during the entirety of love is blind.
Well, she is 34 and Mark is 24.
That's a 10 year difference. Are we sure because there has to be some ones carried at some point, I think, oh, man,
it's only Jessica. Mark couldn't do that math. To carry the one.
We have been. I've been working from home for two weeks. Austin for one the week before you were pretty much here the whole week, too. Yeah. So we've been playing a lot of board games. Like we mentioned last time, our local game shop is having a 19 games in 19 days competition where you can enter $50 gift cards. We've played games and I got to teach him Yeah, so you've never played it before? Yes. I never got
y'all Yahtzee once. It was exciting.
He won both times. Beginner's luck on that. Yeah, we're still not sure who won it last cities because we are both reading the math in different ways.
Yeah, okay. They didn't do it. Reserve operations right in this game. And speaking of things we've watched Oh my god, Tiger King, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,
Unknown Speaker 3:05
oh my god.
I that was like six solid hours of not thinking about anything that's happening in the world right now.
It was a vacation,
Unknown Speaker 3:15
a horrible, horrible vacation.
It's like and really that show is just a that could only happen. This can only happen in Oklahoma
and Florida and the Carolinas and the Carolinas. Notice how like none of them were in like Michigan or Minnesota.
Although this like this exists all over the country. Yeah, basically like this show. It's everything it has. It has every thing like every time you think it can't get crazy here, it adds a new layer to itself. If this wasn't a documentary, if this was like a fiction piece, the producers would have put a stop to it saying no one will believe this. Like, Oh, just I can't even talk about this show because
every moment is somehow better than every other one.
And worse and worse. Now, if you like us are animal lovers, there gonna be some parts that are really, really hard to watch because many of these people mistreat their animals. I can't tell on all of them that we didn't get enough of a good look at their animals, not their feeding, but the way they treat each other. We care way less about that, even though it's worse.
Like we almost stopped watching it because like, Oh, no, they're being mean to tigers. And then Oh, so you're telling me there's just like a murder and someone had an argument. Okay, that's fine.
And everybody's gonna kill each other and turn people into having sex with them for math. Okay. Yeah. Oh, they're two different sex codes happening.
Okay, so many sex Colts.
I don't even know how to describe But what have I looked at Oklahoma for a while this gets brought up weirdly often. I think when we talk about history, it can often be brought back to the weird shit that goes down in Oklahoma,
Oklahoma. What do you hear my hot take? Okay. Oklahoma's America's real Florida In Florida, it's flashier, it's sunnier, it's easier to kind of because it's peninsula and it's on the east coast and there's big cities. Oklahoma is crazier. You just don't know it because it's Oklahoma and nobody goes there voluntarily.
Oklahoma is the Florida of landlocked areas is what you're saying.
Yeah, Oklahoma is the real Florida Florida is the Faker.
No, we went to the Carolinas as part of our honeymoon. I think I think this place is in South Carolina.
Myrtle Beach, everyone that's in that's where it was. Oh, yeah, that's right. Oh,
yeah. We also went to a one of those a weird reptile house with an area in the Carolinas too.
Yeah, I remember being in that weird reptile house and kind of feeling squishy about how some of the animals were in there. But it's like nothing compared to this. But I remember seeing ads for Dr. psychopaths animal that Tiger farm which is still open right now, by the way, and I don't mean like in general, this place still exists. I mean, during Corona virus, it is still open for business. I can
understand it being open for Like the purpose of you still need to take care of these animals because real zoos are still open because they need to take care of animals but he's still having tourists come in and
pet Tigers for what? What did he say? I think he was one who was like at $655? Or was that Carol?
No, he, um, his changes like airplane tickets. It can be like 40 or 51 day, or $1,000 a next depending on demand.
I demand that you stop. Yeah, that is my demand. So and since you're depending things on demand, you have to now that's like the reason I mentioned I used to live in Oklahoma. I lived in suburban Oklahoma, right. One of my neighbors had a monkey. I mean,
Ross had a monkey. Do you really want to be like Ross,
we drove down the street and we just see this family outside playing with a monkey. It was the most bizarre thing and then when you drive to Kansas, you would see a zebra and ostrich farm and the fences were not high enough. So there was ostrich roadkill. Can you Imagine making that insurance phone call. Well, my car got totaled because there was a fucking ostrich on the highway and it ran out in front of me and I couldn't stop. And then they go, Oh, I'm sorry. statefarm doesn't cover ostrich collisions. You should have read the fine print in that. That will be $500, please. But yeah, this show it was it was just it had everything. It was one of those things where you're watching it and Okay, I'm assuming all of you know the basic premise of this point. So they're making this documentary about this like tiger. Okay, turn it off. As I understand it, as they like reptiles, then we're gonna find people who owned reptiles. And then they're like, you've got to check out these people who own tigers. And so they start seeing these Tiger people start seeing this these feuds that are happening, start seeing the different treatments start and I think the original goal was basically to show how these different zoos are run and see if they understand how their treatment affects the animals. You can actually see that at the very end when they're talking to one of the one of the people and he's like, maybe I did this wrong. Yeah, and I think that was the original documentary. But then then Joe Joe exotic,
Unknown Speaker 8:07
put out a hit.
A woman he hated who was also like a large cat private Zoo owner lady, and they just hate each other. And he put out a hit on her and got arrested
while a documentary is being filmed about him,
and this is in the first episode,
yeah, that this none of this will be a surprise even if you're just starting because they they think they start the show with him calling from jail.
Yeah, and just it goes so mad. It's like It's like this weird feud between a a homosexual polygamist redneck Colt
and a lady whose HUD first husband mysteriously disappeared, but boy, she sure knows how to make Tigers attack people. Yeah,
yeah, her husband mysteriously disappeared and was totally not eaten by a tiger no matter what she says.
And then there's this third guy who was Also a polygamist maybe. And in trances young girls and dekum joining him and dresses them up as oma it's a whole, like
Unknown Speaker 9:08
weird like, leather vests
like in all of this we didn't get to see a whole lot of them but in all of this the drug lord who Scarface was based on is the least frightening one and who also takes the best care of the animal as far as we could tell. We didn't get a good look. We can't vouch for that. 100% Yeah, but Oh, dear God, guys, if you need to get away from the world, go watch Tiger King and have a whole box of wine ready? It was the best thing that happened this week. Yeah, that's a fact. is a fact. And also it gets weirder. Like keep like after you watch it read articles about these people. It gets weirder.
Yeah, this they did their best, but they can't cover everything. And there's a lot more out there. Yeah. So who gets to go first? This time?
Unknown Speaker 9:50
I get to go first. This time you get to go first.
Yeah, last week. We started with your Victorian sex cult tire gang. And then we went into my Cyrus the Great. Well, this week, I was researching a topic and it kept branching off into all these different topics and I couldn't find a focus so I might go back to it. So Austin actually doesn't know what I'm talking about today.
I very rarely know what you're talking about.
On the podcast don't even know my topic. Oh, yeah. So this week, this episode is going to come out on what date? March 31. March 31. What's the day after March 31. April Fool's Day,
April Fool's Day about your favorite holiday.
I have two holidays that I absolutely can't stand Groundhog's Day. Hate groundhogs day except for the movie The movies. Awesome. What about the musical?
I actually haven't seen it but I've heard it's really good. And April Fool's Day. I have you heard me talk about Tiger King. I like to be very judgmental. I don't like being mean to people. And I feel like April Fool's Day is just mean. So I decided to research like what the fuck is April Fool's Day, why is the world doing this test? So this is the history of April Fool's Day. Go ahead. I got my stuff from history.com Reader's Digest to the Street not from the streets, the street, which is a website.
I knew you were gonna ask. So I just put it out. It's like, Hey, I know we're supposed to be social distancing the guy on the corner. Tell me about April Fool's Day and he was like, I've got the deal.
For tanika wonder opolis and hoaxes.org
Oh, I bet there's been a lot of hoaxes on April Fool's Day. Mm hmm. Oh,
so when we think of April Fool's day we think of it as kind of a funny haha I fooled you kind of joke, we put it back on ourselves. It wasn't though not originally. And it still really isn't. It's, it's about being a bully. So there are a few schools of thought about where it comes from. Now, first of all, because everything we ever talked about seems to go back to the Greeks and or the Romans. They come in here a couple of times, the Romans had a festival called hilarya.
It was at the end of March and people dressed up in disguises and play jokes on each other like people common people would dress up as nobles and do things they couldn't get away with the rest of the year. Almost like rich people can get away with stuff that the rest of us can At
what has never happened
like they can do crazy things like buy the luxury mansion like Nicolas Cage did or
get bought by a Tyrannosaurus skull and legally like Nicolas Cage did
beat Nicolas Cage like Nicolas Cage is, but it gets even weirder with the Romans because it always does. So in 1708, someone wrote the magazine British Apollo and asked what precedes the custom of making April Fool's. So 1708 we know for sure it's happening. The magazine said that Dionysus who's Greek and that's a whole other thing mentioned a transaction between the Romans and the soy beans, the Romans early on in their city couldn't find wives, because you know, they're killing everybody. And people don't seem to want to marry you if you're going to murder them. So they began with that. They said that there was going to be a series of games at the beginning of April, according to the Roman calendar, and it was going to be an honor of Neptune everybody should come see these games, you know, kind of like the Olympics and stuff like that. So neighboring people came out and wanted to watch these festivities including this beans. The Romans used this there were no games there were no games they ambushed them grabbed the Sabine virgins raped them and forced them to become Romans. Oh, and the British Apollo said of that which imposition we may suppose may be the foundation of this foolish custom, because you know getting raped and married off to your rapist is an imposition.
I can't there's not words
they also refer to the girls as the fools.
That's that's that's that's not a prank. That's not how you do that.
Like how you feel about April Fool's Day right now, like, right. Thankfully, this one is largely considered on true. Oh, in fact, there actually isn't any record that April Fool's Day goes back to Roman times. Like we know hilarya was a real thing. But there is no mention of April Fool's Day again until the 1300s. And even that one's a little iffy. In 1382. Chaucer published the key Canterbury Tales and as with any good dirty fun thing, we have the Canterbury Tales
oh my god the Millers story is the best part of it. And your teacher is going to try and tell you not to read that one but you need to read the Millers tale.
I remember we read Canterbury Tales or parts of it when I was in high school and I was bored out of my skull. I feel like as an adult, I might appreciate it more but you know, I This was senior year this was after SAE Ts and stuff. I was checked out I don't need to read stuff in was that old English like legit Old English?
Yeah, but it was translated cuz I think it was like it was the weird part of time when England was kind of writing in French or am I thinking? No, I'm thinking of the more they are doing it.
Well, this one is the nuns priests tale, in which a fox tricks a rooster unsend March begin 30 days into which Chaucer likely meant to be 32 days after March so May, but people misunderstand it as March 32nd, which is a Bro first, so he fooled the rooster on April 1. Then in 1508, a poem by a guy named Eloy de merville, who was a music person, he did a lot of stuff that normally this thing he wrote would actually only be of interest to people in music except for one line in it. It was called for me to butcher some French wheat, leafy della della dairy. And I tried to have that translated in Google Google, I assumed it meant like the book of the devil based on what it was about, it said the book of the dabbler, the dabbler and like I tried different spellings note the book of the dabbler eight, in which Satan and Lucifer cuz remember, they actually aren't the same thing. What? Well, if I understand it correctly, like Lucifer is the Fallen Angel, but he's not the devil. Like, I don't understand how all of this works. Nope, nobody does. I remember once asking like, okay, so is Lucifer, the ruler of hell, who's the ruler and like, nobody could actually answer this question.
It's it's you. It's been you this entire time. Do
you know I am wasting my time? Yeah, so they have their evil plots consistently interrupted by the author. This and then it has the line here it goes more butchered French McKerrow in some a demo on demand FIM pissant Devereaux, which means basically that someone is being turned into a pasanda row, or APR fish, which I'll get into in a minute. But I think the actual Google translation is the best and infamous macro of many men and many women April Fool.
That's a translation. So it
had something to do with these guys making plans and it being constantly being them constantly foiled on April on April 1. So
remember that episode of friends where Phoebe is trying to teach Joey French? jack,
Ma, pal, jack, Ma, Gemma pal, Bobo? Yep. It's like I can read it relatively well for somebody who's never first study French I just can't read it. Oh, wow. But then Flemish happens so we got forgotten now. In 1561, a Flemish poet named Eduardo den, wrote about a nobleman and there was parts inflammation. I was like, I'm not even gonna bother.
It's like pretend you're speaking German, but your mouth is full of marshmallows.
I couldn't even read the letters like they were in weird orders. About a nobleman sending a servant on ridiculous errands for a wedding fit feast with a roughly translated title of refrain on errand day, which is the first of April, the servant ultimately figures out that it's an April Fool's joke indicating that the day existed by this time. This is also where we get the idea of a fool's errand, because apparently each stanza ends with him saying, I believe you're sending me on a fool's errand. But like I said, this indicates that this existed before then. But the story that seems the most likely to me doesn't happen until after this. So Originally, it was believed by many sources to have started in the late teens, late in the late 1500s. And I know there's a definite you In here, but all different sources were given all different years, it feels like 815 84 1583 might be the most accurate. When France switched from the Julian to the Gregorian calendar, since they didn't have the internet, not everyone knew the switch was happening, or they didn't fully understand the switch so that a lot of people were celebrating New Year's, the last week of March because New Year's was actually on on Easter, which makes really more sense for two reasons. One is it's the start of a new agricultural year, because that's when you can start, you know, planting again in spring. And the other is that Easter is literally new birth. So our new life so you're having new life, New Year new crops, it makes more sense for new for New Year's to be in the beginning of April, end of March. Well, some people obviously heard about this, others hadn't and the ones who hadn't became the objects of ridicule, ie the April Fool's. That makes sense.
April Fool's is calling someone else a fool. Not saying I'm fooling I'm playing a joke on the pranks we're not the fools the people were one of the pranks they pulled was to put paper fish on their backs the pasanda reel or the April fish, which I mentioned a couple seconds ago, which largely symbolize that they were gullible like an easily caught fish. CNN told me this is still done today, largely by children, they stick a paper fish on their friends back when they, when their friends realize that they like April Fool's, except a paper fish, but again, for what it's worth. We have all these little indicators that this existed up until this point, Shakespeare never mentions April Fool's and a single one of his players
probably didn't like it because someone played a prank on Shakespeare and that shit don't fly.
But Shakespeare this will be so in his wheelhouse. He would love having this be like the subject or part of one of his plays. Like the end of Romeo and Juliet, they both pop up and yell, April Fool's, and then realize that one of their moms is dead. They're like, Oh shit, this went far.
Hamlet's dad isn't actually a ghost. He's got flour covering himself. I think it all goes too far and he just runs off into the night. Or literally, oh my god. I know it's a real historical thing. But I know what happens on the Ides of March. But Julius Caesar, it was all just an April Fool's joke that some people thought was real. I'll get into some of those here in a bit too, but that is not one of them. The first official mention of April Fool's was by biographer john Aubrey in 1686, which he called fools holy day, just 13 years later, many people in one of the largest and most infamous April Fool's Day tricks of all time, were tricked into traveling all the way to London for this Tower of London ceremony called the washing of the lions, which is exactly what it sounds like. They were told they're gonna wash lions. The next day the news made wide fun of them. Because this was not a thing. So these people travel in probably four miles for something that's not real.
I would absolutely if someone says, Hey, they're gonna be watching lion lions tomorrow and it's like, they're super mixed up the next day.
So obviously that was on April 1. The day really caught on in the 18th century in Britain. In Scotland, it actually became a two day event involving the hunting of the elk, meaning the cuckoo bird, a symbol for a fool and people were sent on fake errands kind of like snipe hunts because the word is also a symbol of the cuddled meaning that there might have been a little bit of I'm asleep with your wife while you're on this errand.
Unknown Speaker 21:42
Oh, though, Scott. So Scott's
ancestry DNA says I'm like 90% Scottish This feels this feels right to me. Yeah, the followed the following day was Telly day where people would stick tails or kick me signs on their friends butts. Another theory about where this all started. I should have had this up high higher, but whatever. Another theory is that, with it being the first day of spring in the Northern Hemisphere, Mother Nature's making fools of all of us by changing the weather all the time, not wrong, not wrong. And then of course, because Christians had to have to twist everything, not Christians, Christians, but like Christian has Christians in history who were trying to make different cultures, be their culture and find reasons for their things within the Bible. They tried to make April Fool's Day into something that was actually bound in the Bible and religious to make it make sense. So one of the things was when Noah releases a dove before the floods have gone, so he sends the dove on a fool's errand because, you know, the dub does not come back, but I think it does. I don't really like there's that the olive branch thing, but there might have been a second dove. I don't know. Probably. So it flooded.
Unknown Speaker 22:47
How was their solid green plant was
this like, should have died? It should have died. Don't question Noah. And then the other one. The other one is when Jesus was sent from pilot to Herod, and then back which ended causing me now unused phrase that also means sending someone on a fool's errand sending a man from pilot to Herod.
Yeah, I can totally get rid of that one. That's clunky. That is super clunky.
Another interesting theory, I think about April Fool's Day is not so much when it happens in terms of the actual date. But why it happens in terms of the actual part of the year. Think about Halloween. People play pranks as well, but they are a lot meaner. Like they'll steal your stuff and break it. They'll egg your house. There are some times where things become violent, right? Yeah, Halloween is around the time when the season starts changing from summer to fall. So weather changes, pressure changes all that makes people act weird. April is the same thing is that's changing from winter to spring. So everything's changing. People get riled up. And they also say on the street, put it as April Fool's day maybe about nothing more or less than blowing off a little cabin fever because you've been stuck inside all winter.
Oh, God, we are gonna need that this year.
Yeah, but not on April 1 guys.
Yeah, it's like maybe next year or some other time. We gotta let some steam off but this year Keep that shit tight.
We can delay April Fool's day until we're sure that this is not spreading anymore even. Even today many cultures have some kind of festival around this time of year when the seasons change culture starts starts back up. Many of these celebrations do involve wearing costumes and playing pranks. Even if it's not April Fool's Day. It's just part of their of their festival. It's what can we do to make our friends left? So that's a lot of stuff that happens in the springtime in different cultures. That is the basic history of April Fool's Day.
Okay, so we don't really know but we've got a lot of guesses.
We've got a lot of guesses, but I know you're waiting for me to get into the real meat of this.
I want to hear about some of the crazy shit people have done.
Exactly. So the history of April Fool's Day the dates that are involved, the causes of it are not well known, but we have some solid fucking documentation of what people have done. Yeah, I got this for a few different sources, but one website, I think it was hoaxes.org How to list of the Top 100 I did not pull all of these trends. That list and I ended up cutting this list down significantly to just pick the ones I liked best with this wouldn't go on for hours. The first major one other than the washing of the lions was in 1708 astrologer in London named Isaac Bickerstaff, published that he predicted the death by fever of a rival astrologer named john john Partridge on March 29. Partridge was like I'm not really planning on dying that day, but okay, bro, that's not gonna happen on March 30, the day after the suppose of death Bickerstaff, the one who predicted it released a pamphlet saying that Partridge had died. So on April 1, when the news had fully made its way around, everybody's thinking instead, a Sexton came to partridges house and literally woke him the fuck up to ask if he wanted anything specific done for his funeral. He's like, Hey, hey, what do you want me to say at your funeral? Do you have anything in particular want me to do and please It's like, Hey guy. I'm clearly not dead right now. We are having this conversation. I'm not dead yet I can dance and I can sing, I'm happy, I'm happy. He couldn't convince people he wasn't dead, and his career ended because of to top it off, Isaac Bickerstaff was a pseudonym for Jonathan Swift. God dammit. Then in 1957 so a couple hundred years later, the BBC said that Swiss farmers were having a record spaghetti crop and show people harvesting spaghetti from trees and people fully bought into this. To top it off, this was created by a freelance cameraman who produced the whole thing for 100 pounds, and then just sold it to news networks.
I have two favorites and this is one of them. In 1960, a viewer complained to a TV network that a black man had kissed a white woman on one of their shows. Well the network so not wanting to have someone be offended, flew a executive out to the one person who had complained and explained to them that the actor was not black. It was just the the high contrast ratio of the film. He just had darker skin because of the film The way the film worked. No one else complained. They went through that effort. Well satirise Paul crasner got pissed because I'm like, why are you splitting this time and money appeasing a goddamn racist? So he asked the readers of his magazine to write to that same network after the April first airing of a celebrity panel show called masquerade Party, which is one of those shows that apparently was completely offense proof. Nothing on this could offend you,
I am highly offended by everything on Messinger, except for the astronaut who is just Joseph Gordon. Love it. Please be Jessica Gordon Levitt.
We need it to be just support and love it.
Joseph Gordon Levitt is the hero we need right now.
We thought it was Joe exotic, but it's really just love it.
Well, he asked them to tell them that they had been offended by something on that episode of masquerade party, but to not tell them what had offended them. And so the network got hundreds of letters and panicked and apparently watched the episode over and over and over trying to figure out what they needed to apologize for. And then 1962 when we go to Sweden, Sweden's SVT, brought in their technical expert who's a TV thing, and he convince people that they could create instant color television by putting nylon stockings over their TV screens, and it would bend the light to create color. Apparently, people in Sweden still make fun of their dads for running around the house looking for stockings. In 1976 BBC Radio to British astronomer Patrick Moore told everybody that at 9:47am on April 1, the planets were going to align and gravity would be lessened. So if they jumped at that exact second, they would float a little Hundreds of people immediately began calling the station to see that that had in fact happened to them. They had experienced this, with one lady saying she and her friends had actually managed to float around to the room. People can convince themselves of anything. And that can add to the Daily Mail reported that 10,000 brawls had accidentally been made with wire that was supposed to be for fire alarms, and it was interfering with TV and radio broadcasts. So the chief engineer of British Telecom, read the article, believed it and apparently ordered all his female lab employees to tell him what kind of bra they were wearing.
Unknown Speaker 29:34
Hello, HR. Yes.
In 1992, NPR told everyone that Nixon was once again running for president with the slogan I didn't do anything wrong, and I won't do it again. That same year, the Hollywood Park racetrack put out a giant sign there in LA obviously, say reading Welcome to Chicago so the income airline passengers would think they'd arrived in
Chicago. Oh, that is I love that one. Yeah,
in 1994 pc computing magazines that a bill was going through Congress that was going to outlaw using the internet or discussing any sexual matters over using the internet or discussing public matters over a public network specifically while drunk, you could not drink and use the internet. But
then how would podcasting work? You know,
the bill was numbered. Oh 4019 for April 1 1994. He said that this bill was because the internet was called the information highway. So Congress thought that using the internet drunk was the equivalent of driving drunk. Lots of Congress, people were called by angry voters to the point where Ted Kennedy's office had to release official statements. This is my other favorite. And I remember this one happening in 2014. NPR published a link to an article titled Why doesn't America read anymore The link resulted in hundreds of comments some agreeing some angry if they had actually clicked on the article though, they would have read this. We sometimes get the sense that people are commenting on NPR stories they haven't actually read. If you are reading this, please like this post and do not comment on it. Then let's see people have to say about the story.
Unknown Speaker 31:19
Oh, I love it. Hmm. And every
year since 1985, there has been an April Fool's Day in April Fool's Day parade in New York City, except there never has. And this last year 2019 it was the April Fool's Day parade and Trump athon and that is April Fool's Day. That is wonderful.
So, one of my favorite things to happen April Fool's Day was the library decided they're going to change our hours. So instead of closing at nine o'clock at night, we'd be closing at eight o'clock at night, just opening an hour earlier because like, you know, parents are complaining about coming into the library at 10 o'clock instead of nine students. Yeah, they didn't. They wanted to come in library at night. In the morning, said 10 in the morning, okay, so they changed the library hours. Guess what day they started it. April 1, and no one believed it. It's like, okay, it's just a prank. And for like months, people were mad. It's like, Hey, why are you closed? It's like because that's announcement. Oh, I thought that was an April Fool's Day joke for most. And like we even were the neighbors announcements like we're starting April 1. It's like, Why? Why do you hate us? Why are you doing
this to us? Well, this year remember Kansas start being allowed to sell beer in grocery stores? On April 1. Oh, yeah. People were like, I will fucking believe it when I see it. Uh huh. And it was true. They can sell beer there now, but they can't sell anything. I couldn't drink because I'm allergic to beer.
Yeah, yeah, your barley allergy sucks. Well, then we get all of the bad April Fool's jokes that the internet is becoming now where everyone thinks that their website needs to have an April Fool's Day joke and none of them or funny.
No, except for in 2008 when YouTube had everything Single featured video Rick rollio That's funny. Remember when he rickrolled everybody at the Thanksgiving Day Parade? Yeah, like he came out one of us just started singing. Rick Astley Come back. Come back. We need you right now. Tomorrow night and this is before we
never should have given him up. We really let him down
tomorrow night which of course will be in the past when you listen to this. There's this like, televised We Are the World situation, but it's for coronavirus, and everybody's doing it from their own living room, which I think is so cool. It's gonna be on TV. We're gonna be watching it hosted by elton john. I want Rick Astley to come on and rickroll all of us I think that's the relief we need right now. I know.
Joe exotic well,
coming from his cell sing does about Carol. Oh, one of the articles I read ditch did tell us who actually was singing I can't remember who it was. But we were we were right. Just lip synching. Yeah, yeah. But there's a whole song about how Carol killed has killed her wife, her husband. And also night we didn't have a traditional wedding. We got married at a petting zoo. And then Like if you feel like it come to this bar afterwards we'll be there. It's not a reception so you'll be pi thing you know you're ordering some food. And we didn't do a first dance as a result. So we have decided for our fifth anniversary next year. We are going to do a first dance to that song about Carol Baskin killing her house called
Here kitty, kitty. And we're doing it in costume.
Oh, Carol Baskin costumes or
both of us Carol. costumes.
Yeah, he mentioned that for Halloween this year. We should do we should do costumes from this show. And I asked him if he was going to be Carol basket. If it was me,
it probably should be me so I can get the the mullet wig with the bangs that show exotic. Ladies Joe exotic.
We both also took that quiz. Which one are you and I got Carol basket and he got Joe exotic. So our rivalry needs to amp up down.
Yep, but not too much. All right, take a hit out on you in the stupidest way possible.
So thinking of April Fool's Day, do you ever have any pranks that you played or that are played on you that you actually liked?
Yes, actually. Um, so a couple of years ago, the man One of the managers or library who deals with all of like, the people complaining about the content of an item who has to then go and explain to them why it's okay for library to have that and address their concerns because we're a public agency, and we need to be transparent about this stuff. And
no one's making you read it. So stop.
Yeah, that's what it boils down to. Well, here's the thing. It's like, yeah, it's like, Man last year, I don't I haven't gotten any of these. I think I've gotten one. So for April Fool's I had everyone who worked for the library, fill one out. And we put them all on his desk. And it was just a moment of pure panic because my current boss was in the same office as him. And she was watching over his shoulder, and he just got in, sat down on his desk with his desk saw this and went Oh, oh, no. Oh, no. Oh. Oh, these are fake.
So yeah, we're about it, though. He
had a sense of humor about it. It was pretty funny. Did I ever get traced back to you? Oh, it wasn't million percent got traced back to me.
Like that time that I toyed someone's yard or my toy day was I pinwheel. There you go. In high school, we literally went to the dollar store, bought all the pinwheels and then put them in this person's yard so that when they opened the door in the morning all the pinwheels would be sitting. I have no idea how he knew it was us. Absolutely none. But he called me the next day. And he thanked me for the President's basically. I hate April Fool's Day, I've actually always kind of hated April Fool's Day Ever since I was old enough to understand it. But when I was little, like little little under the age of six, there was the store near us in St. Louis that sold joke stuff and we thought it was so funny to put a fake ice cube with a fly in it and my dad streak.
Oh, my favorite was we got a whoopee cushion. And we would put it places and my mom was always on hoots on it. And she got so pissed off. She actually like she got set up. Grab the whoopee cushion and cut it into tiny pieces with scissors. She was so bad but good for her. Oh man.
See, I'm just like poor Austin he loves playing pranks and he just knows better than to do one on me because they fight I actually get upset by the other thing is
I don't want to play pranks on you because for, for it to be a good prank, the person you play the prank on has to find it as funny as you do.
Yeah, and that's the thing is a lot of times a lot of these prints I see they don't and that's that's where the line is make, make sure it's something make sure somebody you know, make sure it's somebody you get along with and make sure it's something that they would also do to you if they had thought of it.
Okay, so I am going to go ahead and go off on a PSA here about pranks in the office place. Make sure they're funny. Don't be me and like everything Jim did to Dwight in the office is not a good prank. It's just mean these are people you work with. You don't want to be an asshole except for the jello, except for the jello. That was funny. The jealous honey and I wasn't gonna do that to somebody. But now we're under lockdown. And I can't get into her office to put to put her possessions into jello
Austin. You live with me. You can get into my office.
Now this was someone I work with.
So you're under some questions. I'm ready for some questions. Well, the fact that April Fool's Day is about really making fools of people and not with people be on the test.
No, because we have to be nice.
Well, the fact that April Fool's Day once killed somebody, but not really be on the test.
Yes, that's funny.
And we'll the fact that people were gullible enough to believe that spaghetti grew on TV on the test.
Yeah. They'll be on the test. 1,000,000,000% off that.
Right. And so that is April Fool's Day.
That was a good one. I'm following up. Like I feel bad about doing something serious this time.
Hey, I kind of figured we need to keep things you know, a little bit balanced once in a while. There. Oh, Austin, Austin. Yeah, there was zero genocide in mind. There's zero genocide in mind. That never happened. I mean, we had a an urban legend mass rape in mind, but it did turn out to most likely be an urban legend.
Okay, remember something a few years ago about Like, how like an explanation of how April Fool's Day got started was in fact in its in and of itself and April Fool's Day prank.
I actually had to be very careful while I was doing this research to make sure that was not the case with any of this. Yeah.
So you got to talk about April Fool's Day, I'm gonna talk about something else. I also love I love space and space exploration. So I'm going to talk about one of the longest live space programs and something has been incredibly successful and wonderful and just everything lined up perfectly,
kind of like the planets and then you jump in, you float a little bit,
actually, yeah, the planets did line up perfectly for the Voyager missions. Yeah, let me I took your joke and I just stomped on it was like I see your setup here. I'm just gonna just bury it in the fucking ground.
Unknown Speaker 39:42
So yeah, the Voyager programs. These were really cool. They were two probes that were launched in. Launched in the space back in the 70s.
Were they thrust into space
they were thrust into space thrust is important.
To my least favorite words probe and thrust but uh oh, thrust thrust is my moist or panties are two words that people just please don't put
us in the same sentence but
Okay, just the word frosted takes me out. And it's the sound of the word itself, not any of the meanings of it. Like I don't go to I don't go to the meetings. I go to like the sound of the word.
Yeah. Okay, well, I'm not gonna mention thrust often in this, so don't worry, okay, they were built in the 70s. Because at a time when the planets gonna line up that we could send space probes and hit Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune all in one go with the same probe and not have to like no send multiple probes that all these planets It was a literally once in a lifetime thing because this type of alignment only happens once every 175 years.
Unknown Speaker 40:51
What year was this?
This says they were launched in 1976.
I'm going to check that against my April Fool's Day date.
Sorry, they were launched in 1977 but like,
Yeah, mine was in 1976. He said, we're going to align He said it was a once in a lifetime thing is
the alignment, they weren't actually aligned because of how long it takes for everything to travel. Uh huh. So it was just kind of like a that, like, we could line it up with these orbital paths that they were going to take in go, like, hit all these planets. So there's a lot of math in this.
Unknown Speaker 41:20
Okay, but I'm going to sleep. Let's talk about these
probes because they are amazingly cool. The entire Voyager program cost 860 $5 million. The entire program. Now that might sound like a lot, which it's 806 $7 billion. That is less than 1% of the interest of the national debt. Hmm, yeah. And it's like when they did the math over like this program, it's cost every american taxpayer about eight cents for this. I won't make it turns back. And this was math done in the 70s. So that's like for less than the cost of a candy bar. That's what this cost everybody and
Okay, or eight people He says a penny candy that I could have bought,
oh my god, you could have had eight entire pieces of penny candy a entire tootsie rolls. Each of these probes weighed 1820 pounds, which is about the weight of a smart car with two passengers. They were they had 12 foot parabolic antennas that they used to transmit stuff back to earth and, like received like orders and programming and stuff, which because they're so far away now that they really desperately need them. And it's just, it's crazy, all of this stuff on this planning and the longevity of these probes. And they're powered by three radio thermal generators, because they're going so far away from the sun that solar panel panels would not work to power them. Hmm. And it's these use radioactive pellets and containers that produce heat and they turn that heat into electricity. In total, each of the generates about enough power to power about a quarter of an average American household. All of these are about the size of a smart car using a less electricity in our house. They're using 1970s computers that actually have eight track tape debts with programs on them. Very cool. And they've been going for 42 years. That's amazing.
Why is my electric bill so expensive? They can do stuff like this,
because plutonium is more expensive than what we have. So if we had like plutonium sitting in our basement, we'd have a lower electric, electrical. But we'd Hamiltonian our basement,
wondered why don't go in the basement.
Yeah, I also had some maneuvering thrusters. So they could like adjust that rebel path because no one's math is good enough to make everything perfect. This gets pretty roughly right. I had 231 pounds of scientific instruments. That's it. The scientific payload of this entire thing was 231 pounds. Included and
this is back in the days when computers took up like whole rooms. Yeah.
The cameras on this really cool. They actually there were digital cameras of a sort like not like kind of similar to what we have today, but very different. And because they're dealing with such low light levels and such long exposures on these planets so far. from the sun, and it was on these probes that were moving like, you know, five or six miles a second, they actually had to have them on these, like gyroscopic gimbals that would pan the camera slowly to keep it in line with a moving planet from the moving thing sit by programmers like thousands of miles away and it took hours for the signal to even reach this probe
your hand gestures really helped with the explanation? No,
but so it's really cool. Just like the camera equipment on this way they needed to work the thought they had to put in every step of this and how well it worked. And they had all of these other sensors like they had infrared sensors for atmosphere stuff, ultraviolet sensors, things for sensing magnetic fields, plasma sensors, cosmic ray detectors, like all of this neat stuff, and most of the equipment is actually still working today. That's so cool. Yeah, most of them have been powered down because they're not really of use anymore because they're in deep space. But I think each of them currently has five systems they're currently running and people are still checking them and we're getting new information from them still 42 years later.
Yeah, we have to replace our cell phones but every two years.
Yeah. I mean, if we had an $805 million cell phone, I would have bet thing and bear last for 42 fucking years.
I mean, isn't that what they charged for the most recent iPhone?
Yeah, but it has three cameras. Okay.
Three whole camera three camera. Didn't I see that Samsung just made a little four or something.
There's one that has six that's coming out Jesus
Christ. Like at some point your hands just gonna be covering the whole thing.
Yeah. So and of course amongst the equipment. The one thing this you probably do remember is the Golden Record. Oh, yeah, it was a gold plated audio visual disc. And it was really kind of built and like thought of by Carl Sagan, who is just amazing. And I could probably do an entire entire podcast about Carl Sagan. He was awesome. So it had 115 images, music and greetings from all these different cultures. Carl Sagan laughter the sound of footsteps, a spoken greeting from the UN Secretary General, a written note from Jimmy Carter and an hour long recording of brainwaves. from someone thinking about history, civilizations, our problems and the feeling of falling in love,
I'm just imagining the horror movie that could be made out of somebody getting this record and playing it and like not knowing. Also, there's like, brainwave sounds and footsteps and laughter that is a horror movie.
Well, it's Yeah. There's also some controversy about this record. First of all, there was some line drawings of a naked man and a woman and some people objected to the nudity. So they get replaced with silhouettes, because Heaven forbid aliens see our genitals? I bet it was. Nevermind. Please, please do it. Do it.
I bet it was some guy concerned about the size
Someone please think of the children. The Rock and Roll song Johnny be good was on it. But lots of people were against it because they thought rock and roll music was to adolescent and Carl Sagan. His response was there's a lot of adolescence on Earth.
Unknown Speaker 46:57
Good for him.
Yeah. Also, Carl. Sagan wanted the Beatles song Here comes the sun on the record. Uh huh. But the Beatles record label, EMI would not let them release it and put it on this record. And they wanted to charge $50,000 for each of the two records that were so $100,000 total to use this one Beatle song on this the entire record record program cost $18,000.
That's the Johnny be good. People really go ahead.
Yeah, because I want to be real here. These records are going to outlast human civilization. Mm hmm. These are going to be the only record of people unless we like you know, start traveling the stars because eventually the sun's going to explode. But these are going to be far enough away, drifting through space in relatively pristine condition for millions of years.
It's nice that you think the sun exploding is what's going to do I said,
I'm being an optimist. This is going to be the lasting like human we exist in thing that might eventually be found by some other races. face. The Beatles aren't going to be a part of that because their record label wanted too much money.
So Paul and Ringo, how are you feeling right now? Yeah. And of course, or at least Ringo? Yeah, I'll post dead. Oh my god, Austin, do you not get the reference? No, there's this whole conspiracy theory that Paul died and they replaced him with a new guy who looked like him. And I'm one of the Beatles records supposedly you can hear them saying Paul is dead.
This sounds like an April Fool's Day prank.
No, that's that's a real thing. I'll show you pictures later. Ya know Paul McCartney, as far as I know is fine
2020 has been a year I would not be surprised if this happened while recording
Unknown Speaker 48:37
we got off the recording like Oh shit, we got to put a little like yes
claim are gonna like oh god. No. You could tell us chatting
right now you keep going. I'm making sure Paul McCartney is okay.
Speaking of recordings, NASA uploaded these records contents to soundcloud and if you want to you can actually look up and listen to everything that was on these records. Yeah, yeah, I've heard about that. Yeah. So check it out. I think it sounds pretty cool. You can even Buy a replica of them to play on your record players because you are that kind of dirty fucking hipster. Are you okay,
Austin? Yeah. What do we have sitting in our bedroom that belongs to you? It's a record player. Yep. Paul McCartney had made has made an official statement regarding the coronavirus Few days ago even in times like even in difficult times like this. Let's watch each other Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Okay, good. So he's fine.
so far. He sounds like he's fine. And we're good.
So they were launched in 1977. Voyager two was actually launched first because it was taking a longer slower route than Voyager one Voyager one was gonna be going faster. So Voyager two launch first Voyager one got places first, so they made it to Jupiter in 1979. So two years later, yeah, Voyager one made it on March 5 79. And Voyager two made it on July 9 1979. They took 33,000 pictures of Jupiter and its five largest moons. One of the biggest discoveries they made about Jupiter was not about Jupiter. They discovered that one of its larger moons IO actually had volcanic activity
doesn't want to be isn't one of Jupiter's moons stuff like Earth, like
there's a few moons that are kind of earth like but not enough to actually support life as we know it. Like maybe a bacteria.
I once had somebody, I think in the cosmic sphere come talk at my school and tell us that there was no way for aliens to live on any other planet in our solar system or any other planet we know about because they don't have atmospheres enough like ours. And then I asked about how we keep finding new animals and deep in the deep sea. If they're because they couldn't survive and the upper hearts so they clearly like to have adapted and grown differently and she got really mad.
Yeah, so if there is life on any of his moons, it's not life as we know it.
Yeah, that's what I was trying to get across to him like, just because it's not like our life doesn't mean it can't be life and she absolutely refused to believe it. Even though she said that for a living. She studied alien life.
So yeah, that was they discovered this. They also like you know, got some good pictures of the red spot on Jupiter. Just so much more information than we ever had. Had from Earth based observations that it was. There's still research being done on this information from these probes and new discoveries are being made all the time from this 3040 year old stuff. And of course, Jupiter the transmission glad Jupiter was somewhere between 35 to 50 minutes, and Jupiter is 438 million miles from the sun. So we're going to keep track of how far things away they both got a gravity assist from Jupiter to make them speed up a little bit
cool that we knew that kind of stuff was gonna happen.
Oh, yeah. And traveling about five miles a second when they left Jupiter.
Unknown Speaker 51:34
That's about how fast I was going. I got pulled over on cold medicine. Nice.
As we'll call you, Voyager one because you're speeding. So they made it to Saturn in 1980 Voyager Voyager one made it on in November of 1980. Voyager two made it in August of 1980. That's right. 1981 I'm bad at and I'm bad at writing things down today. You Saturn is 939 million miles from the sun.
Unknown Speaker 52:00
How many miles are we from the sun?
We're one astronomical astrological unit, which is the distance from Earth to the Sun. I don't remember how many miles we are. It takes like about eight minutes to get from the sun Earth.
How long would it take the pretenders to get to the sun? Well, the Proclaimers would have to walk. That's what I meant. Proclaimers would have to
walk 500 miles, and then they'd like 500 more, and then they'd have to repeat that probably a couple hundred thousand times. Okay. So we learned a lot about Saturn because this is further away, and we couldn't observe as much as telescopes. Like we learned that Saturn is the least dense planet is the only planet less dense than liquid water.
Are you saying? It's the valedictorian of the planets? Because
it's the least dense. It's the least dense. Yeah, it is. And if there was a lake large enough, first of all, holy shit, what a fucking lake and Saturn would float.
Isn't Saturn kind of already floating since in space?
Yeah, but it's floating water too.
Okay, yeah, I thought you meant if there was a lake on Saturn. I'm like, how can it float on its own Lake Whoa,
yeah, we also learned that a day on Saturn is about 10 hours long. So it's spinning real fucking fast. And we don't know why. But there are Aurora lights on Saturn, like know how we have the northern lights? like yeah, Saturn gets gets those two, but it gets in the middle latitudes and we do not know why
it's spinning really fast
but it's like instead of being at the polls, it's got them in the middle and we don't know why it does that.
It's spinning really fast. Yeah, when things are going around around so quickly, like in your heads being spun right round right round
like a record baby
like a record, baby, you just don't know what's going to go down
when it goes down down. Yep. So this was Voyager ones last stop. After this. It started to leave the solar system. It wasn't encounter anything else traveling at 38,000 miles per hour or 7.5 miles per hour. ish. I had to convert all of this from metric to American just so mad he would understand the things I was saying a little bit more.
I do believe that we Convert to the metric system. I also know that I will be like the people in France on April Fool's Day who don't get that it happened and I keep speaking in feet. Please don't speak two feet in feet. Oh, that's even worse.
No, I'm going to foot wall going past Saturn, Voyager two had a pretty major malfunction. The the swivels for the cameras that they used. He's using hand gestures to that point again, the swivel, the swivel. Everyone knows what a swivel is, right?
It's like a pivot. It's when things turn. Yep, like a record, not like a record that's spinning.
They stopped working while it was on the far side of Saturn when they weren't getting signals from it. And when it came back and start sending stuff again. They realized oh shit, we're getting these blurry photos. They couldn't quite figure out why it broke or what happened to it. They got it working again, but not reliably
the aliens found it and didn't want to be seen on camera.
But this is the cool part. NASA thought, you know what, instead of using the swivel, we can just use its thrusters to just Spin it slowly, because they can do the math and make it spin just slowing it off. So it tracks stuff with the camera with it's more limited, like swiveling and have it do it that way. Okay, guys just pivoting the entire craft.
This is really cool stuff you can do if you focus in math class in school. Remember all of them carry the one.
Oh yeah, this is how maybe that's why we haven't gotten back to Uranus and Neptune is because no one knows how to carry ones anymore. So it was pretty awesome cool. But unfortunately, because of this, they'd already completed mostly emission and they got most of the readings they just miss getting more details and more information about some of Saturn's moons and Saturn's f bring.
He's staring at me like he wants a reaction, but I'm not sure what reaction Yeah, ring,
Saturn's f ring. Okay, it started sound like a dirty sex thing.
I thought it sounds like f Ron,
the F ring. So yeah, Saturn has an F ring which was kind of braided. We don't know why. braided, braided. Yeah, it's got like weird patterns going through it. fairly sure why,
um, they went, they went on a trip to the Bahamas.
Yep. They finally did a tournament, I think while it was traveling, some space dust hit it and damage the thing, which is why it's not working as well. Because when you're traveling that fast, hitting a piece of dust can actually damage things.
Can I blame that every time I trip? I'm just going real fast. I ran with some dust,
do it. Wait. Calling into work was going really fast. They hit some dust and it just blew my arm right off.
I'm all better.
Yeah. Okay. Now, what everyone's been waiting for Voyager two went on to Uranus. It made it to Uranus on January 24 1986. So this was like five years later because
Austin existed I did not
yet because Uranus is 1.84 billion miles from the sun while I was there. By the way, this is the only probe that's ever been to your anus. This is the only craft we've sent out there.
I was waiting for it. I was waiting for To say that, what about probing
And the thing is, you know, it doesn't get better when you change it to the alternative
pronunciation you're in this. Yeah,
there is no good pronunciation of this
probably haven't been bad because because no one can take it seriously.
Yeah, I mean, you know that they're even like scientists who chuckle at it every single time. Yeah, because they discovered a
moons around your anus.
Unknown Speaker 57:27
And two, we're just getting it back and
two new rings. We're adults. Literally while I was researching this, some new information about your anus was announced. And they're going over some data and they found the thing they might put that was a like a glitch or something at first might have actually been like a previously unknown atmospheric phenomenon. And it was like a magnetic plasma bubble that shows how your anus use loses atmosphere. Basically how good acids escape.
Unknown Speaker 58:02
That's just the planet farting. All right, so scientists want
to go back to Uranus For this reason, and because Uranus is actually just kind of weird, a weird planet in general, it's got like its orbits a little different. Instead of like spinning all the planets in the same way except for Uranus, it's like tilted 90 degrees, it spins differently.
Okay, like this is like half the reasons we got rid of Pluto and Pluto does seem to be a planet anymore. Uranus is huge, though. I'm sorry, but we don't say other small things aren't what they are. Like when a cat is a baby. We don't say it's not a cat.
Unfortunately, Uranus was also actually kind of boring. It didn't have like the big bands like Jupiter, or like the, the rings like Saturn and all of that stuff.
And none of them had the big bands, The Beatles didn't get to go.
Uranus was just kind of this uniform kind of bluish color and not as exciting as the other planet
except it's turning in a totally different direction. It's just a weird
one. They want to go back for that reason, but I didn't produce any good photos. But they also got a lot of great data out of it.
Maybe they did. didn't use the right filter, maybe? Yeah, it's gonna try the puppy one,
they showed them a puppy filter on your anus. Thank you for setting me up with that one. So let's let's move off of Uranus, please do. And onto Neptune in the last stop, which is 2.78 billion miles from the sun. So about about another billion miles further than Uranus, Neptune it made it there on August 27 1989. So 12 years after it launched, it's a sixth grader now. Meaning that there were this was a natural thing that happened. There were people who are grad students and interns who were there at the start of this mission, who by the time it ended, we're actually like leading entire departments of NASA. This project lasted people's entire careers. Uh huh. And it's still going on now.
Like there are probably some people who were the interns then that are still kind of working on this now. Because like, I know that they're not obsolete, but not used as much. But I'm sure there's like still a team that's like, this is our Oh
yeah, there's their entire There's still teams that work on Voyager, they're still getting data and discovering new stuff about the universe with these probes. And so 12 years after the launch, they discovered six moons four rings and a dark spot, which is a storm about the size of the Earth, kind of like Jupiter's famous red spot. They found when on Neptune to it does have 1500 mile per hour winds. So pretty cool
is it because Uranus is farting on it and that's how the winds are
it just wants to be further away. It's got a fan for Uranus This was its closest approach because it's the end of the mission so they figured they could take some extra risks with it and maybe get some more information because again at like you know almost 3 billion miles away we're probably not going to be spending something else out there anytime soon. And if we can get something more out of it I'm sorry space force can get there Austin space force can do anything space for maybe we should send space force there. I've got a special kid that I'd love to send. There's no coronavirus in space.
There's no coronavirus here. It's all a hoax. Yeah,
well, I mean that's what the special Space Cadet said.
And the end Aliens will think he's one of them because he's he's he'll be the same color. And
near the end, they actually changed its final path to get it close to Neptune's largest so
Unknown Speaker 1:01:08
they can like steer these kind of it's got it has
thrusters and gases to like kind of maneuver it because again they can't get the level of paths perfect special with the gravity assists, so they need to adjust them slightly as they travel as they get telemetry.
Lucky you the science worse is worse.
So it's an on this moon they found some stuff I did not expect to see they actually found a geologically active moon with geysers and not what they suspected to be just a frozen ball of ice when nothing is happening. It actually has the lowest recorded surface temperature of any measured body at negative 391 degrees Fahrenheit and it still has geological activity. They think it's because of tidal forces from Neptune meaning because it's spinning around like gravity is still causing some friction and it heats up up enough so it melts in the core and spurts out as gases or From its magnetic field kind of heating things up a little bit like a microwave, I'm not entirely sure. And it's something called cryo volcanism, where like instead of like liquid rock, it's like liquid methane or liquid nitrogen that is instead of being a solid is now a liquid and it spits out
a lot of liquid nitrogen, liquid nitrogen. Like I went to the doctor because I had a like a lump on my back that I couldn't but I you know, and I had awesome look at it. We both were like, Oh, it looks like a pimple. It'll go away. It didn't go away. turned out it wasn't anything to worry about. It was a wart. I know that's gross, but it was a word that was on my back and she got so excited because I get to use the liquid nitrogen. So she went off and she got the little cup of liquid nitrogen she throws it off and then she goes now for the best part Come with me. And this is like this is my medical professional. I love this. I love this. She was in the hallway and she kind of looks down the hallway and and throws it down the hallway so that we can see like the liquid nitrogen bounce and stuff. Like seriously, I will frequent a business or in this case a medical professional, more Often, if it's clear, they enjoy what they do. And she does. Around Neptune.
There is only one 10th of 1% of the amount of sunlight we get here on Earth. So it's really dark. And it took 160 minutes for the transmissions from Neptune to make it back to earth because of the speed of light. That's how far away it was Neptune's far y'all.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:21
It's like going across the state of Indiana even further. It's like going across Indiana twice.
Yeah, the gap between Uranus and Neptune is bigger than Indiana.
Nothing is bigger than Indiana when you're just trying to get across it.
Even though they've completed their official mission. They certainly are still doing stuff with these Voyager probes. Like I mentioned. They're both operational today. Even though their radio thermal generators are losing power to the half life of radioactive materials. So they're producing less and less power as time goes by.
And as the idea that when aliens find it, they'll just be kind of like floating, floating space trash.
Yeah, floating space trash with a disc that hopefully will. It's got instructions for how to like interpret the data on it and Make it work,
because we assume that they'll read a human language.
It's it's really
like IKEA instruction. Yeah, it's like IKEA instructions. But what if they don't have hands or eyes? Yeah, what if they do everything through sense of smell?
So yeah, it's like they might be able to figure out but hopefully they'll have scientists who will be able to look at stuff like we do and figure out what's going on with those discs. So who knows, Voyager one left the solar system. And this is in quotes in 2013. Because there's lots of ways to measure leaving the solar system. This was they just left like a plasma envelope thing. And cosmic rays and solar radiation are interacting differently now, but it still hasn't even made it up to the Oort cloud, which is where comments come from, which is still within like, the sun's gravitational realm, even though they're both traveling fast enough that they are eventually going to leave the sun's gravity completely. So it's been 42 years and they're still nowhere near our solar system by some measures, but we like to know like it left the solar system today because they're still the furthest things from Earth that we have created. Here we go at the time of the Recording Cardenas, the Voyager one. The mission time is 42 years, six months. 23 days it has traveled 13 billion miles from the earth. Its speed is 38,000 miles per hour. It takes 20 hours and 35 minutes for a transmission from Voyager one to reach Earth.
So when the alien found that we wouldn't know for almost a day,
yeah, and Voyager two mission time, 42 years, seven months, eight days because they launched it first. It's 11.5 billion miles from Earth traveling at 34,000 miles per hour and only has a 17 hour and eight minute one way lightspeed. You can look all of this up on NASA and the Jet Propulsion labs website for Voyager. It's got all their mission information and like current ongoing stuff with them, because they're cool like that.
Either cool photos and stuff that it's taken and mo yet
sometimes cool photos that again, currently they're just out reading Deep Space cosmic rays and like the sun's plasma and all that weird stuff and making new observations, but sadly by They are near the end of their expected life. It takes a lot of power for them to even transmit and receive stuff from Earth and they're losing power as time goes on. And there's gonna be words to be able to stop being able to communicate with them because they're getting further away and losing power. And we're reaching that point.
Sadly. Oh God, I remember when the Mars robot like died. You were so upset.
I'm going to be so sad when these guys die. They're expected to die this year.
Unknown Speaker 1:06:24
Oh, no. Okay,
well, it's also the Mars robot like died the same week my grandpa did and there might have been a lot of misplaced emotions.
Like wasn't his last message out something really sad.
It's getting dark and my battery is low.
Unknown Speaker 1:06:39
I'm sad. now. I'll put that on your tombstone for you. Thank you.
Well, it was
Unknown Speaker 1:06:44
mine and mine will say he made me put that on his tombstone.
No, first of all, I'm not gonna have a tombstone because you're gonna feed me the Tigers.
Sorry, you're feeding me to sharks. So that's not my choice.
Yeah. So now we're gonna talk about something else the Carl Sagan did and that is the patient Blue Dot you might have seen this picture it is in 1980 Kurt sorry in 1990, Carl Sagan asked NASA to take one last photo with Voyager, Voyager one, they spun around and they took a photo of Earth in this picture. Earth is just a pale blue speck that is roughly a quarter of the size of a pixel. It is from 6 billion miles away. And he actually wrote something about this in his 1994 book, pale blue dot and look again at that dot. That's here. That's home that is us. on it. everyone you love everyone you know everyone you have ever heard of every human being who ever was lived out there and lived their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father hopeful child, inventor and explorer, everyone Teacher of morals every corrupt politician. Every superstar every supreme leader. every saint and sinner in history of our species has lived there on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam. The earth is a very small stage and a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on this scarcely distinguish one habitants of some other corner. How frequently are their misunderstandings how eager they are to kill one another? How fervent their hatreds are posturings are imagined self importance. The delusions that we have some privileged position in the universe are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck, and the great enveloping cosmic dark in our obscurity in all this fastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. The Earth is the only Only world we have known so far to harbor life, there is nowhere else, at least not in the near future to which our species could migrate visit. Yes, settle not yet. Like it or not for the moment, the Earth is where we make our stance. Carl Sagan is brilliant, and so much emotion out of just a literal speck in a photograph that is quite literally everything in our history,
Unknown Speaker 1:09:26
except the International Space Station.
Except the international though that that wasn't there. Actually. No, that was there in 90. No, it wasn't there yet. I think the only thing that wasn't in that picture from humankind was Voyager with its golden record that does not have the Beatles on it. So yeah, so some more information about this thing. 11,000 man years of work went into building this and Manning this project. That's the same amount of labor that went into building the Great Pyramids of Giza, it's sent. The Voyager probes have sent back 625 gigabytes of the gap data they gathered in photos and readings, which is not a ton. Yeah, that's like, that's about a half. Half of your hard drive is all of the data we got out of Voyager. And yet people have been studying it and making new discoveries with this information for 40 years. So, I'm going to say Voyager is one amazing success in human ingenuity. So are you ready for some questions? Sure. All right. Well, the fact that they use a track based computers on This Be On The Test.
They'd have to explain what an eight track is first.
Well, you're a This Be On The Test. How'd you spell it? You are a
Well, the fact that we thought naked people were too racy, even for aliens be on the test?
No, because we would still think that now.
Yeah. And we'll be absolutely insane greed of a record company that kept the Beatles off of the Golden Record. be on the test? No, yeah. That's still the part. That's like the one thing I learned all of this was the the entire Beatles thing. Everything else. Got from a book I read a couple years ago, and just kind of refresh myself on the information. It was written by a guy who worked at first as an intern at the beginning of it, and was running the department by the time it finally did its its flyby of Neptune. Really great book, I'd recommend reading it. I don't remember the author of the title, but you can look it up. Smart people
Unknown Speaker 1:11:17
call the librarian Oh, wait.
Yeah, call a smarter librarian. So yeah, that was Voyager.
Unknown Speaker 1:11:23
I didn't get choked up. I thought it would just a little bit.
I could see it starting, which is why I was trying to say, hey, not everybody that you've ever loved, will necessarily have been in this picture. Yep. Or at least now they wouldn't. Yeah. So yeah, that was Voyager. Very cool. We have very different topics.
Very different topics. I have a serious one. And you have the funny one.
Yeah. All I think yours probably has more relevance throughout, you know, human history than
mine. Yeah. So what did you learn this week?
I learned about the Voyagers are gonna die this year. I know they might die this year. I mean, that's
Unknown Speaker 1:11:56
that was that was the icing on the cake. That was that was there
that is that that was their estimate that they'd last until 2020. But I mean, they could be wrong. The mark that Mars rover got so sad about lasted years longer than they thought it was. So we might still have Voyager for a while. Or I might just like you know, get out of this and like last week we had all those notifications about how the county was shutting down and we were all gonna have shelter in place. I might be up to like investors of like Voyager died while you're recording.
Hey, but Paul McCartney still okay, let's check. Oh,
my garden is still okay. Oh, God. We've been predicting the future a lot in episode
maybe we should just stop saying thing. Maybe we should. That'd be the worst podcast ever. Just sitting here in silence and then at the end of it saying check our socials.
I also this week I learned that the history of April Fool's is not funny. But the history of April Fool's Day pranks is amazing. There is some people thought spaghetti was grown on trees.
Spaghetti is not even from what country was it Sweden? I can't tell what country it was. France. No, it wasn't growing in France.
I don't know. Yeah. So Spaghetti growing on trees somewhere in cities from spaghetti gorilla Italian trees, Italian trees. It's kinda like how you can't have shipping. Like there's noodle trees and other places. But spaghetti only grows on Italian trees much like champagne is only from a Champagne region of France everything else is just sparkling white wine
unless you're Joe exotic in which case you are the champagne of Oklahoma like I know it's my fault that I'm Lynn let me down this week because in the heights got indefinitely delayed and you have to understand I'm not a weepy person and I cried during the trailer for in the high up, she
cries every time she sees the trailer In the Heights
I've seen in the heights and it's so beautiful and I cried and now they're delaying it. I'm like, that was my light. That was my light at the end of the tunnel. I don't care if they delayed it in terms of like we're delaying it until this is over. But they're like no, we're still fixing some stuff. And so we don't know when like how long the delay will be. after this is over and I'm like, yeah,
so I so I cry when science robots die she cries when Lin Manuel Miranda makes beautiful songs.
About the oppression and hope of a culture of people in the United States. Yes.
Hey, I cry about science robots.
Unknown Speaker 1:14:10
Are they being oppressed? I mean, they don't get paid.
So you all can find us on social media on Facebook at on the test pod Twitter out on the test pod, Instagram and on the test pod. We're mostly doing pictures of our board games right now. But we'll also do some cat pictures. We do stuff relevant to the episodes. Maybe someday we'll show you our beautiful faces. What else should they do?
They can subscribe, they can subscribe to us on iTunes and write reviews of us it's really cool. It actually does help us and like get people to see us so if you like us write a review you know say some nice things about us. And you know what, contact us on twitter anyway, if you got questions, suggestions for topics corrections
are also really does help if you download the episode too. Oh, yeah, download the app and like, even if you like, listen to them, it doesn't always count. I guess. I'm not really sure how all of this works. But it looks like downloads count more than listens. I don't understand it but download please download download,
download and suggest this to a friend you know like we've talked about a lot of shit tell friends like hey listen this episode about Pliny the Elder guy was crazy
or listened to this episode about Black Friday You monster who go shopping on Black Friday? yeah
all right Cova Nikki is finally gonna kill Black Friday
I think we're a little too far off to tell although guys right now is a good time to get some Christmas shopping done like even even if it's just making a list of things to buy once places reopen but a lot of warehouses are still open and people do need to get paid. Maybe leave Amazon a little bit.
Unknown Speaker 1:15:38
Alone right now got on that note. Class dismissed.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai