Will This Be on the Test? Transcripts
Automatic transcription is bad.
Hi everybody and welcome to Will This Be On the Test? I'm Maddie.
And we're here today to talk to you about some stuff that either you didn't learn thoroughly didn't learn correctly or didn't learn it all in school. But in my case, at least you definitely should have in my case you probably did, but only part of it. Well, it has been one hell of a long week this week. Oh my
nothing particularly bad happened. Just one of those weeks that would not end.
I think it's just the collective every fucking person in Kansas City waiting for the Super Bowl making the week stretch out even though we aren't doing anything. I am so excited up.
I am so excited for the Super Bowl. Oh my we
have the best plans which will Sunday.
See we both hate football with a fiery passion.
It's like ever since the concussion thing I just can't do it anymore.
I didn't like it. Before that I did go to almost every home game at our high school because I liked the merging Yet Same here, but with all of that really straightforward information about how even kids who people have only done peewee football are leading with traumatic brain injuries, and they know it and they are ignoring it. And that's the thing that's bothering me.
intense amount of cover up that this was actually happening,
but we're excited for it not because we plan to watch the one time I ever went to a professional football game. I was 12 maybe 13. I was being fine. I wasn't bothering anybody. We just had binoculars because we were in the nosebleeds. This woman, instead of saying, excuse me when she wanted to get past us, put her hand in front of our binoculars and what Move, move, move move every single time hitting them into my face every single time. And I don't know how often this woman had to pee or what but she was getting up several times. And so that turned me off from going to chiefs games ever again. But But and this is why to this day. I believe in karma towards the end of the game, you know, bitch Queen of Chiefs lania is coming up the stairs, trips false face first and breaks her nose. Oh, that is just that makes you believe in karma right there. It does. And, you know, I'm not saying I'm glad that she got hurt, but I'm hoping she learned a lesson about her behavior that day.
No, she absolutely didn't.
Because that's not how you treat people, especially a kid who is not being obnoxious. That goes just me and my uncle watching the game, and we gladly would have stood up for her and moved every time. And it's also worth noting that there was nobody seated in front of or behind us. So she could have just stepped over the chairs.
From what it sounds like. I don't think she could have stepped over the chairs.
Oh, last time I went to Kaufman, I went to the Billy Joel concert, which was awesome. guy in front of me is a little feisty. And does that thing that I'm always terrified of where he falls? We're on the upper levels. Awesome. You know? Like that is? Oh, yeah.
Okay. I like from Got for a second I thought he like fell over
almost almost he fell and then rolled down over people because they weren't expecting it to their backs weren't straight and they just rolled over them almost to the front where he hit. Somebody just happened to have good posture. They were so annoyed. It was funny. But yeah, it's people always like stand up, take a photo with the city behind you. And I refuse to let me act like I'm being irrational. Know, the chairs that are there in the bear that are there, right at any level, that is the right height to fall. And I'm terrified of heights anyway. But anyway, that was our tangent about that.
Our first tangent of many,
the only thing I like about football is Patrick mahomes. I just think he's so cute. I was
he sent me that story today about how like he was he loved it like he was in a restaurant and nobody bugged him or asked for an autograph or a selfie. And then he just walked out and said, I love everybody in Kansas City. Thank you so much with
all of their food. Yeah, but that's just the way Kansas City is are for the most part, as long as you're a local celebrity. If you're not you know if you're in front of town they'll bug you. Like a friend of mine saw Paul Rudd at Oklahoma Joe's back when it was still Oklahoma Joe's. And everybody was acting like it was normal to see him there because he's from here. Rob riggles from here,
which are Rob Riggle with our high school?
Yeah, he did he he mentioned one of my theater teachers and forensics coach on one of the late night shows. And but how they played pranks over the radio because we had a radio station back in the day.
And don't worry, the Rob Riggle smell was completely out of our time we got there. We love you Rob Riggle. Well, you know you listen to us.
But anyway, our plan for the Super Bowl because we've all played football. We are going to go to brunch at hamburger Mary's because neither one of us has ever been.
It's going to be dragged plastic.
We are going to go see little women because the movie theater will be empty yet. We're going to go to Trader Joe's because even more importantly Trader Joe's will be
empty. I'm going to be by the good Trader Joe's I wonder if the alcohol because pro both pro pro prohibition is still a thing Kansas.
Yeah, um, I went to Trader Joe's a couple weeks ago and I'm finishing off my three buck Chuck right now like literally at this moment I have it in my hand. So I need some more three buck Chuck, which is wine that is literally $3 kids, not kids. Wait till you're 21 Don't be an idiot.
It's it's a wine that's $3 parents.
Yes parents to get through these long hard nights of parenthood. Trader Joe's and Missouri has three bucks chuck it tries to be fancy back in my day. I had a rooster on it. But now it's as Charles Sean it means. But it was all it's trying to be all fancy. Guys, it's $3 go get it to survive whatever he needs to survive. Bring it to the teachers at parent teacher conferences. Wrap it up in a thing say it's tell them to say it's lotion. I mean, no, you don't bring wine to teachers. Teachers don't drink wine, or coffee, or take medications for their mental health has covered everything.
You've covered everything but still seriously Bring them some wine, or I guess pot, but be really really really like chill about it Do
not bring the teachers pot, bring them wine, it's fine. Even in places where marijuana is legal now teachers are usually not legally allowed to use it unless it's even a little gray area if they have a medical card because schools can any point at any point randomly drug test and because it is still against federal law, teachers are usually still able to get fired etc for having an in their system, even if it's medical grade even if they can prove they've never used it on campus.
Yeah, okay. Don't bring your teachers pot
but wine. Absolutely. The worst case scenario is they have to give it to somebody else because they're not going to drink it.
And wine makes great present. You can always read gift wine.
You can even three buck Chuck, there is somebody out there me who will want it.
My entire family who will be impressed by your ability to find a bargain.
So I would after prejudging We're going to go to hertz donut, which is we found out is open 24 hours I am using my legitimate undiagnosed insomnia incorrectly.
Yeah, I feel like I'm gonna wake up one like morning. It'll be like four in the morning. It's just gonna be standing over me and you're gonna be eating a donut. They're just gonna look me in the eye and hold out a bag and say, Do you want
they come in a box, bro? open a
box in front of me. I'll still be half asleep and then I'll assume I have died. And this is some sort of weird purgatory
though you know for a fact that I get annoyed when you try to eat my food while you're asleep. Like if I bring food into the bedroom and he takes it from me there is nothing that makes me angrier because it is my independent snack time.
Well, if you wanted me to not wake up maybe you shouldn't eat the crunchiest fucking food.
We have crunchy food. Oh my God. He went out of town last weekend. I had the house to myself. I ordered so much junk food, I jalapeno popper pizza from toppers, toppers, you can sponsor us I'm okay with that. And I ate chicken wings also from toppers toppers, you can sponsor us I'm okay with it. And I ate all kinds of like K. So I had the worst heartburn because I am in my 30s and cannot eat like that anymore. But I didn't have to share. I'm a very good sharer, he can tell you that, except for when he eats my leftovers from restaurants in which case there is no fury like me. But it was awesome. It was awesome. And what else did I do Austin,
you cleaned and you use the label maker on the drawers.
I cleaned our kitchen, and I labeled every single drawer so he never has to ask me where something is, again,
is all in her own terms. So it's like there's like, what does this mean?
Okay, none of it is unclear. I literally list out everything that's in the drawers in some cases, let the
record show it can be unclear.
Well, yeah. If we're talking about the one that where the end didn't type in, says utensils.
I love the utensil jar. Don't change the utensil drawer.
But things like how does stuff for baking unclear it is things traditionally used in baking and not cooking.
There's a lot of overlap
there is but it's things that if you were willing to do one or the other, you'd be more likely to pull it out.
Yeah. Hey, hey. Oh. So we are so incredibly off topic. I don't even know what tangent we started on. Football, football. So yeah, we've got the best plans. We're gonna have so much fun. We might even get takeout in addition to all this other junk food, and I find
a restaurant to go to in the evening Austin because we never go places because they're always full. I suggested Cheesecake Factory
we could go to Cheesecake Factory.
Cheesecake Factory is okay if you're not from Kansas City and especially if you're not from Johnson County, and you don't understand the lengths that people will go to to get Cheesecake Factory. That is like our equivalent of fancy without getting into. You need to have a dress code to get in here little fancy, but their banana cream cheesecake. is my favorite.
I don't think I've ever had the Cheesecake Factory.
Oh, then we're definitely going to Cheesecake Factory.
I also really do not like cheesecake factory. It's uncomfortably Midwestern even for me.
But Austin, you have to go in there and just soak in the mixed different cultures. They tried to put it in there all at once. It's amazing.
It's like someone had a real fancy yard sale and someone bought it all.
Okay, I think you're mostly mad because that's what I want our house to look like. It's just a garage sale full of crap that made that I turned into decor, kind of like we're going to do with ugly Christian record cover.
Yes. And we're going to try and recreate the photos. Thanks for the dove.
God's chosen puppet.
No one's gonna understand us even less than usual.
But let's actually get started. How's that sound?
Yeah, going on for like an hour now.
Yeah, yeah, it's been 90 minutes already. 90 minute, 90
minutes. Whoa. 11 minutes. Okay. That's like 90 minutes in dog years dog years in Draco's already been on my lap and gotten disgusted and run off twice now.
Well, I start today because I talked about school lunches last last time a school lunches. And as far as I know, that whole thing has been resolved because today were, you know, not impeaching people anymore and banning other countries from visiting and deciding that coronavirus is a bigger deal than the flu even though per capita it's killed fewer people. Yeah, but whatever. Get your damn flu vaccine kids get your damn flu vaccines. I
don't care what Karen tells you get the fucking vaccine
except for Karen kill Gareth, who would never tell you to not get the vaccine unless you're a serial killer. Which case don't get vaccines if your serial killers
actually do get the vaccine if you're a serial killer because herd immunity is important. That's true
as somebody who had a medical exemption and then got the disease because someone decided that they were more important than me medically being unable to get taken care of. Yeah, hurting my knees more important serial killers. Go ahead and do it too.
Yep. Wow. Our pro we have a very Strong pro serial killer stands on this podcast now, I guess.
So in the past, I have mentioned my topic a few times. And it is something we definitely should have learned in school because it would have made all of the so much more interesting. So tell me something you know about William Shakespeare.
There were some parts of Macbeth that he probably didn't write because the meter is different.
Did you know that he didn't write any of his plays by himself? No, I am team Shakespeare was Shakespeare to for the record. I do not think Shakespeare was somebody else. However, Shakespeare was part of a troupe and the troops traditionally, even if he wrote the story, they altered it together. It was they had an editorial team.
Oh my gosh, it was like the writers room.
Yeah, it was basically that they would try out things and see if it worked. They also didn't have directors directors are actually the newest part of theatre and except for things that are technological based technology based, they had stage managers because you can't get by without goddamn stage manager. No,
it's like we needed a stage man or manager at a memorial service and there was like 10 of us.
I've had to stage manage so many weddings and the bride's didn't even know I was doing it. that's the sign of a good stage manager. She's,
she's kind of like Batman that way. She just wears a mask. She comes at night, she speaks in a real deep voice, and she fixes real problems that she disappears.
All right. Well, I'm talking about Shakespeare today. Yeah, but I'm not doing my full Shakespeare story. I have decided to break Shakespeare up over several episodes, not in a row. So if you're not a Shakespeare person, you don't have to worry.
Are you Wait, are you just like dismembering Shakespeare like a serial killer?
How can you tell these are these body parts are your brother. It is definitely my brother Reese. Those are Reese's Pieces.
And tonight, folks.
So I've talked about Shakespeare stealing a theater before. Yeah, I've mentioned it in passing. It's always been if Shakespeare can steal a theater, you can do anything. Now I thought about doing just an episode on Shakespeare, but the facts about him and his plays and everything else are too Read for that to just be worthwhile, like, he's fascinating. And I'm excited to cover him another time. And before you get all Oh, she's just a theatre person. I'm actually iffy on Shakespeare. I think he is fascinating. But here's the deal is that we teach him wrong. We teach him so that people can't learn him. We teach him so that we can keep teaching him because if we taught him correctly, then we would not be allowed to teach anymore. Because think about all the things that get banned from schools, all the perfectly acceptable books that put that teachers get contested on, but you don't hear them contesting Midsummer Night's Dream, which has literal beasty reality in it, or Hamlet, which has a whole lot of murder and suicide. It every play is nothing but curse words and dirty jokes. But we teach it like Shakespeare was this great artist. And he wrote these really deep and meaningful pieces. And it is we don't teach the language correctly. I always taught the kids that there were dirty jokes. I couldn't teach them and to look for them. When they got to high school,
Oh, so you're like, it's like those dirty jokes on this play. I can't teach them to you. So they went over that play with a fine tooth.
It was occasionally Let me read a scene that here and then look over there we go. I got it, and we'll share it. I'm like, good. We are not sharing the dirty jokes because we are not old enough for me to get in trouble for that. But it makes it a lot more interesting. Nothing but dirty jokes, nothing but cuss words, nothing but sex and violence and yes, drugs. But we don't teach that because it's not appropriate. And the thing is, Shakespeare would be horrified to know how we taught his plays. The fact that we teach them and these reverential tones would piss him right the fuck off, because he was not this amazing artist who wrote these deep meaningful pieces. He was James Franco and Seth Rogen, who occasionally made a disaster artist. This guy wasn't this is the end all over the place just like that one scene and this is the
But we're not going to go into that you're gonna have to get that dirty joke on your own kids
you are I'm not getting into that that is too explicit, even for this podcast.
It's like, yeah, it's no.
But I'll get into all of that another time. That's not the point of today. The point is learning about how he got into his little theater. Shakespeare's plays were performed in several different theaters over his career. Several Yeah, you look surprised. Yeah. So what how many theaters were you taught? There were
We were taught that there was the Globe Theatre, and it was the premier theater. And it was the only theater that we ever learned about.
Well, the first theater is that is the star of our story today is called the theater. Now, it's
not very original.
It's worth noting that I have a master's degree in theater education. I have a bachelor's degree in theater and I went out of my way to take additional theater history classes because my hit theatre history teacher was the bomb. And oh, god, he was crazy. I loved him. I want to be like him. When I grow up.
You're already pretty So you're almost there.
He would it when his back would hurt. He would teach the entire classroom a lawn chair. And this was not a regular classroom. We just couldn't see him unless they were in the first row and we'd hear him yelling about Doritos while he was teaching about tantalus. The doritos are right there and you got the munchies but you just can't reach them. He was the best. So the theater was the first permanent theater built in England. So let that sink in. Because remember, this is the first permanent theater and it's the one that gets stolen. Spoiler alert. This isn't a shortage which is part of London's modern Hackney borough which is just a little bit north of London proper if my geography is right is built by an actor named James Burbage who becomes important later. Little known fact about the plague is that the Mayor of London band plays during the plague plays on band a lot throughout history Guys, guys, theatre history is amazing. If you can take it as a history credit at some point, do it. It is so intrinsically tied to all of human history because theater is human history. But you get to learn from this one really cool perspective that gets overlooked. Anyway, they banned theaters from putting on plays in the city because they were smart and figured that illness spread in crowds. Well, theater people were like, Well, fuck you, and they kept going. But they just built the theaters, basically across the street from the border. Kind of like Trader Joe's is directly across the street from Kansas.
So this theater is built in 1576 as part of that, like the globe, but this was a theater on the round. It is the shape of a polygon. So get that into your brains, math kids, with a thrust stage. A thrust stage sticks out into the audience and has audience on three sides ish. Sometimes they're rounded, so it's a little bit different. What's my least favorite word off? thrust? Yeah. What's my least favorite type of stage?
A thrust stage?
Yes, they are the worst. With theaters and around you can kind of manipulate a little Better. But with thrust stages you have to when you direct when you block the shows, you have to not just incorporate the idea that audience could be on all three sides. But the fact that audiences when given the choice will sit in the center. It's awful, and the sound is terrible. Anyway. There's some evidence that the theater not only had acting spaces, but also had bear baiting pits. Yes. The theater was originally a venue for life. Okay, I'm not sure how y'all pronounce it in England. I know how to pronounce it in Boston. So I'm gonna say light Chester cuz that's not how to pronounce it. That sounds like a British way of doing that we pronounce it leister ly Chester's men which included James Burbage his son James purpose built the theater Richard, but much of the company left the Rose Theatre because they got into a fight with Richard Richard had quite the ego basically.
So that so that hasn't changed an actor with ego.
In 1594 Richard Burbage, we can The primary actor in Lord Chamberlain's men, which you probably have heard of, because that was one of the troops that Shakespeare was in, of which William Shakespeare was a member at this point. In 1596. The guy who owned the land at the theater was on named Giles Ellen opted to not renew the company's lease, so they had leased the land the theater was on in order to put on their plays in the theater. James Burbage had secured a 20 year lease which ended in 5096. And Rumor has it the company party too much for Alan what to deal with them anymore. So, actors, another thing to know about Shakespeare, he was not a dignified person at all. This was not a man who carried himself with what we would consider any amount of I am a respectable person. He was very much kind of a party animal kind of dude. So the story that comes up next is a long and complicated story involving family squabbles that only Romeo and Juliet could dream of lawsuits against anyone, everyone and there was even a first time Wives Club so attempt at claiming half of everything in a given space. Remember Goldie Hawn locking I'm going mine mine mine. Yeah, that's what they tried to do here. But that's not what the story is about. So I'm not going to get into it beyond that. This battle went on for two years with Alan beginning to say that he did not have to give up the theater because it was on his land. Now did Giles Allen build the theater?
James Burbage bill James bourbon development theater and now his son is the primary actor in the theater. So here's the thing. Members of Lord Chamberlain's men, Shakespeare Gaiden, Augustine Phillips, Thomas, pope john him and James Henry kondal. And Richard and Cuthbert Burgess. So their dad built the theater there two of them there. Each member of the company owns a portion of the company, including the theater. The burgesses, together owns 25% each other member owned slightly less than they did even singularly and their family hadn't funded the Destruction this theater would not exist were it not for the Burbage family but that didn't matter to Giles Allen. He wanted the land and he was mad at the guys for their party so he refused to give them the theater back. What is the theater troupe to do?
What did they do? Tell me more. Tell me more.
If you've ever met theater people, there isn't a damn thing that will stop them from getting what they want. Austin is unfortunately married to a theater person.
Yeah, our living room is teal because I'm married to a theater person. I'm living
room is gorgeous. It's gorgeous. The ancient Romans figured out how to recreate sea battles indoors. And these were the theater people. The members of the Federal Theater Project hid dangerous messaging in plays about beavers. I once had to hang lights, and the only way to find out the lights worked was to stick metal onto an electrified sheet of metal and to find out if I got shocked that was shocked the lights worked.
That doesn't seem safe.
Another time I had to improvise Shakespearean language with an accurate dropped out a week before the show opened. And I improvise my ass off for two months in the role of King overall. That was the last play I was in.
Well, you maybe you have the dignity of King over on.
The fact is that theater people make shit happen if there's something we want we make it happen we are used
I'll see what's hazing and at all it's Draco what's in the bedroom because he got in there by accident a couple of weeks ago and now he wants in there all the time anyway
when it should happen. So obviously, they're going to fix this. During those two years the true performed at the curtain theater. So now we know about the theater and the curtain, which are two theaters that were rarely to never talked about in classes, and they promote premiered Romeo and Juliet at the curtain not at the globe. And another fun fact about Shakespeare's plays, they were not held on to they threw them away. These were not meant to last week we performed over and over. When they were done, they got thrown in the trash and they were all handwritten obviously and each member of the troupe had to write their own scripts. And often they only wrote down their own sections. So there were no like full copies of the scripts, like anywhere. The versions we have now are not Shakespeare's versions. And I can go into that another time. It's fascinating. I didn't know that it's fast. I get really excited about this. If any of my former students are listening, first of all, you knew I cost I just never did it in class.
And you told me about the few times you did, you'd come home and you feel so guilty. It's like I said, like I said, shit in class today.
The students always thought it was funny. Yeah, one time where they're like Miss Maddie, we always knew we always knew we are waiting. I was day one. There were just two of them there and they go, and no one will believe
So no, I didn't cuss in class any more than an average teacher did but first of all, students are listening to me Hi, sorry about the cussing or not if you're fine with it. And second, you remember how excited I got about Shakespeare. So after all of those years in the tears and the curtain they wanted their own place, so December 28 1598, Giles Allen was on his country home having Christmas with his family. So on that night a group of approximately 12 men including carpenter, Peter Street, then with the assistance of a financial backer and William Smith, these guys entered Allen's land with swords, daggers, axes and bills which are like pull arms of hooked blades on the top, and they tore the motherfucking theater down. Yeah. And not only do they tear it down, they carried it away piece by piece. Legend says that they disassembled and reassembled it in one night just off of his land, but that's not true because physics would not allow that to happen. But they did take it to Peter street storage area store the wood in there until it was warm enough to build. They then moved it all over to the Thames to rebuild under Peter streets guidance. It was stronger, it was better and it helped 3000 people It's a big one. Yes, done. Hey gas, you know, as you might guess, Giles Allen wasn't okay with us, after Peter street for trespass, which is probably accurate, because Peter street actually did not have any part of the theater unless he's just a carpenter, who also built another theater. That was really important. He then tried to sue Sue comfort and Richard Richard berbice, for trout trespass and to something that they technically owned. He lost all of his losses. Good. And the theater was theirs. So they rebuilt this theater in early 1599. And it was called the club.
Oh, so it's they stole the globe.
The Globe was originally called the theater and it was stolen. Yes. Did you ever learn about that in school? No. What do you have found Shakespeare more interesting if you had? Yeah, yeah. All we learned about is this beautiful language that he used. And yes, I'm not saying the language isn't beautiful. I'm saying that that is only a small part of what he did and who he was. And if we learned this stuff, there would been far fewer glazed over eyes but what does this dude going to do next? This guy is like somewhere between Einstein and Timothy Dexter.
Yeah, I mean, that's there's there's a thin line between asshole and genius.
Now you may wonder if this is true,
because this does not sound completely true.
A document written in 1601 confirms it. Oh, what it does not confirm is exactly who was present except for Peter St. Shakespeare did write this up. It's a legal document. It does not confirm that Shakespeare was present present or that he was not present. Now, can you imagine somebody like Shakespeare who wrote things like a Hamlet or mid summer or Titus Andronicus wasn't there
for this Shakespeare was 1,000%. There. He was not particularly helpful, I'm guessing but he was there.
And then in 2008, archaeologists also found the foundation of the northeastern corner of the theater while excavating it's believed previous location. So they were Confirm that it was there. So we know that this did happen. Just me know that I became stuff of legend that whole moving across in one night thing 99.9% was not possible that as you might know, the Globe Theater that currently stands is actually only 23 years old. Yeah. The rebuilt globe of 1599 burn down and 1613 you might know that as well. Do you know why it burned down? No, I don't. So they're putting on a Henry the Eighth. I think it's the right show. And there's a cannon and the cannon misfired and let the sashed roof on fire. Oh, they actually managed to evacuate everybody and only one person was injured. And it just made me laugh because his pants lit on fire. And then they to put it out with a bottle of nail. Yep, his injuries weren't even bad. They rebuilt the theater only to have it closed down by Puritans and 1642 because theater is a sin. God dammit Chrome. Well, seriously guys. Theatre history is amazing. And then it was dismantled in 1644 1645 make room for houses. In the interim, the time where was between it being burned and rebuilt. They performed at Blackfriars theater, another theater you never heard about, which was built by Richard Burbage. They performed in a few other places we'll get into in a second. But in 1997, the current theater was rebuilt but in a different place because houses using images that remain from its original days. I've actually been there. They still do the seated and Groundlings tickets now you know the CETA tickets were wealthy people sat in the more highly ranked you were the more close you were to the back which actually terrible seats for viewing but it's great. These are being viewed. Now the Groundlings You know, I'm sure that they didn't have chairs. Yeah, did you know that they also were not allowed to sit?
even now, you are not allowed to sit as a Groundlings. Nowadays, theatre Shakespeare plays are three and a half hours if they're done in their entirety give or take. They were longer back then. Because these were not sit and silently watch these were I'm drunk and watching this Show place. They would yell stuff at the stage and sometimes the actors would yell back these things lasted with anger, and they had to stand the whole time. In addition to the theater of the globe, Brock Blackfriars and the curtain, the group performed directly for nobility. Now, when you're in school, were you taught that the backseat right behind the stage was for the queen? Yeah, yeah, she didn't go. That's not a thing. But
Shakespeare in Love, she was there.
Now, I'm not saying that they never went because maybe they did. But 99% of the time, at least theater companies were called to them, which we actually see in Hamlet. When he has to play within a play. They're the royal family. They called the players to them instead of going to the players.
Yeah, kind of like when Obama went to see Hamlet, when Obama when Obama Lindsey Hamilton, Hamilton came to Obama,
so they went directly to the Royal Court and the houses of the nobility and the ends of the court. I couldn't quite figure out what that was. So Africa Woman for King James at Hampton Court several times, Lord Chamberlain's men became the king's men. And that is the story of how the Globe Theatre got built. It was not just this place that magically appeared for Shakespeare. It was literally stolen by Shakespeare, and then added on to make it bigger. It is
just the lightful
if memory serves the first play performed, there was Julius Caesar, but I didn't write it down.
Ooh, I'm if there's no deeper meaning to that. Love Julius Caesar. One of my favorites. I 3d printed her a bust of Julius Caesar. That's also a pencil holder. So you're stabbing pencils into his back to store them.
The students who got it thought it thought it was hilarious. So do you have any reactions before we get into questions because I saw faces happiness. It's just like,
theater is what? I was not a theater kid. I was in with the very, very serious and studious orchestra kids. Yeah. And like I had no idea theatre was actually fun until I was an adult and you erupted me,
I got him to go to an improv class. He's really good.
It's apparently being just from a family of absolute bullshitters. I've learned how to do improv pretty well.
I also wants to come to a conference because I got a free like, basically right along pass for somebody. And he had never taken a theater class before in his life. And it was hand and nothing but a bunch of theater education professionals in this room. And I gather you had to get up and do improv there, too.
Yes, I did. Yes. I had a lot of fun. I also want you a musical.
Yeah, he won me the rights to a musical and it was great because we had no funding for it. And it was really good.
I did. I just wanted to be credited as an executive producer, and I think I got that
he wanted me to do vanity though. And I said, No.
It's like, If I'd known Starlight Express existed, I would have insisted on that they
didn't have they don't have Starlight Express, Jr, for good reason. But I'm
surrounded Lloyd Webber. I know you're listening to us. We're sorry about what we said about cats. It's beautiful. I would like Right Starlight Express Jr. I have no theater experience or musical experience or directing experience or costuming experience. I have no experience in general. But I feel I've got the passion. And you know what? I have the guts to write Starlight Express Shradha can just hear that you can't hear Jr.
I'm drinking wine because I actually know he's serious.
Act One. Scene one no train yard.
No, we're done. Are you ready for your questions? I was born ready for my questions. Well, the fact that the Globe Theatre was not Shakespeare's only theater beyond the test.
No, because that's just confusing.
And it shouldn't be because Are there any actors have only ever worked in one theater? Any playwright is plays have only ever been in one theater except for a really bad playwright, I guess,
though, but it's like it's like, you have like one time in one place. You can't have multiple places. That's just confusing.
Yeah. Kind of like realizing that and Frank and Martin Luther King were born. In the same year, and it just blows your mind. Yeah. And was it barbara walters was the third one born that
year. It was some some, some other like news reporter type person.
Well, the fact that the globe only existed because of a major heist worthy of Ocean's 11 beyond the test,
no, because stealing is bad. But yes, because that's important to know and it will get interested
this goes back to you kind of have a hook you want to bring these kids and keep their entrance to gotta have that hook. Well, the fact that royalty and high nobility didn't really go to the theater and expected theater to be brought to them be on the test
that shouldn't be on the test because that's giving people an unreal expectations of like, I'm gonna become a famous rapper, because this producer is going to come in and see me performance like no, that's never gonna happen.
And will Peter street who ran all of this and rebuilt the theater himself beyond the test? No, because he was one of the techie people. That's literally what I wrote down that technicians get no respect so you won't be on the task. Oh, I know you like he's had to hear me rant about the fact that like, schools when they post cast lists don't post crew lists publicly to even though they're just as important and yeah, the pay differences and all that he's heard me rant about it too many. Yes.
I wouldn't say too many times. I'd say just enough many times
that I have to stop now. I've reached the just enough.
You've reached the just enough. I'm tapping out. Next time you complain about tech. I'm going to hold up the card that you've just given me. Thank you. It'll say Oh, enough with the techie already. Why with the poodles already? Oh, Gilmore Girls. So I'm going to talk about something we did learn about, but not super well, I'm going to talk about Greek philosophers.
Is that because the good place ended, and we're really really sad.
No, I started researching this before The Good Place ended now. even sadder.
Yeah, we thought we thought we had time. We didn't know it was ending in January.
We thought we had more time. Just like okay, I'm not gonna actually go into this because there's spoilers and this just happened and I'm a good person.
Yeah, we are not Entertainment Weekly put putting spoilers on our main page. We
are having Game of Thrones spoilers on the goddamn cover the day after it came out. That's what I'm talking about.
So yeah, but if you're a fan of The Good Place make sure you watch it the time where you can sit back and decompress and clear your tears afterwards
and I cried. I like full on ugly cried. So I'm talking about Greek philosophers. Partially because God talked about him a lot. He loved him TV
was my favorite on the show. Austin's favorite was Tani. Yes, I loved cheating. Which makes sense though, because who am I?
You're Eleanor. Yep. And who am I? Jason damn Skippy. Actually though I thought I was. I always thought it was Michael. We never decided who you were. I'm pretty sure I'm Michael.
But you know who we all really want to be in cannot be
Unknown Speaker 36:49
Janet. Janet. You'd be disco Damn it. Yeah.
I'm like God, I could be disco Janet are in reality and probably bad. Yeah. I'm as gassy as bad Janet lizard, not neutral. Janet. Correct. Austin begin state report on Greek philosophers. I didn't start doing this partly because of the good place. It also partly because they're kind of interesting. And believe it or not, philosophy and ethics are important in we should be learning them. But but we don't, because everybody's parents has made the joke. Oh, you're a philosophy major. I bet
you're a great brewery stuff. Yeah. You know, philosophy majors going to do business lawyers.
Yeah, it's important because they learn rhetoric from the very beginning of rhetoric. And it's important because America is currently being destroyed by bad rhetoric.
I was actually talking to somebody about this today. I recently went through a massive job search and career change, and they all expected me to have a bachelor's degree at a minimum. But when I went in there, they were much more interested in the online classes I had taken. They didn't care what my major was in they cared about These free LinkedIn learning or Coursera, Udemy classes I had taken because they were more recent and more and more relevant. They don't care what major you I could have been a philosophy major and they wouldn't have cared.
So anyway, I'm going to start off because all I remember from school about them until I got, I took an actual like ethics class, which, oh my god, it was taught by this guy who was clearly meant for business people, it was all this entire class of ethics was just justifying being unethical to yourself was all I got from this class. It was a bad class. So all I learned in like, like Elementary School in high school was that the Greek philosophers invented democracy. And then nothing happened until America came along and perfected it. But you know, they have a lot of other ideas. Some are brilliant, and some were less brilliant. What Yeah, so guess what I'm gonna talk about everyone
we learned about was universally brilliant all the time, Austin or they were the bad guy. No, in between.
Yeah, let's Yeah, let's do it. Let's go talk about Socrates. He's the granddaddy of ethics. He The teacher of Alexander the Great, he was considered the founder of Western philosophy and Western thought.
And if it wasn't for Socrates, you would not be thinking right now people in the Western world.
Also, he hated. He kind of hated democracy,
kind of like Martin Luther never admitted to actually believing what you've written down.
Yeah. So basically, he thought, like, letting the letting the light like idiots like you're like idiots run the ship. And that can't be a good idea. And he was also kind of right because he was it was democratically decided that he should be put to death. So he might not have been wrong about the whole democracy thing, at least for him. It was not his own solo. That's what
juries are. It's democratically deciding whether or not you get to die. Yeah.
So he's, he is kind of pretty famous for the Socratic method,
which we still use, which we still use today. Although I have a feeling it's highly modified from what he
Oh yeah, it's basically the use of questions to break down an idea and by finding a hypothesis by eliminating contradiction So it's basically you're forming a negative hypothesis. You can only
have a hypothesis if you're not married to me. Yes. Eliminate contradictions. Yes.
And it is like this, all of these things, and you sit down until you get to have the right idea or actually more accurately, and what we found is you just have something that cannot be proven false instead of the right thing, huh? Yeah. Which is part of the problem with Socratic method is what our justice system is based on currently.
Although we do have that little Reasonable Doubt thing thrown in there. The problem is with the way we handle juries, people just want to go home after a while and you know, they might just break I'd be a terrible jerks. I don't think I'd ever be able to get somebody convicted, especially if they were a teenager younger. I feel
like I would be an excellent juror, but I'm fairly certain I would let someone die just so I could go home.
See, for me, it's a matter of, well, how did we fail this person as society? And if we aren't going to be rehabilitating them and what's the point of sending them into this system in the first place?
Yeah, actually And retrospect I'd be a horrible jerk. So also Socrates was a real bad husband. We don't learn this. This is a quote of his by all means marry. If you get a good wife, you will be happy. If you get a bad one, you will be a philosopher.
And then Shakespeare took that information and use it in his own marriage.
And his wife, Zan, flippy also,
like from Kimmy
Schmidt, Mike from Kimmy Schmidt, was portrayed as a shrew and a pain in the ass, like universally. So, not only did Socrates invent most western thought he also invented the modern sitcom. He's also a pedantic asshole, who would turn all small talk into philosophy and philosophical discussion. Sorry. So for example, start small talk with me, I'll be Socrates.
I'm an introvert. I don't do small talk.
Oh, so you think that talk can be small? Well, I think ideas are great.
I think other things can be small and that's why you have something to prove right now.
Oh, damn. So Sarah just demonstrated the Dr. Judy's method of arguing. We'll get into that.
See, and I can't even cut that one out and you just shared my other name. Oh, fuck. I'm like, you know, I'm like a jellicle cat over here. I've got series of names and there's been that's my true name.
But are you big and are you small?
Yes. I have an alarmingly small head and alarmingly big feet.
Yeah. And uh, but doesn't quit
gross. I just bought some headbands that people were complaining were too small for the normal size head and I'm like, yep, buying those.
So yeah, he was also I love this unemployed on principle because how can I really be you know, advocate for thought if I am getting paid for this, it has to be pure.
See, that's the nonsense that I used towards artists all the time. Well, if you really cared about the art, you wouldn't expect to get paid for it. Fuck you, Socrates is all your fault,
but he would go out drinking with the boys at a no women allowed symposiums over poza symposia saw I'm sorry,
I was an English teacher,
whatever. And he also he married his wife, not because he loved her, but because she was argumentative and she would basically be a sparring partner, constantly questioning his beliefs. Looking at me like that,
so the guy who just gave me a sideways glance and put his hand on my shoulder. Austin has known me since we were 17. And I feel like nine out of 10 conversations we had where we arguing about something.
It's it's gone down to only seven out of 10 since we got married,
but I can say that we genuinely rarely fight. But when we do, um, she bites a lot. She shot me once.
Unknown Speaker 43:48
I am a good shot.
Yes. So again, this was literally a bad sitcom. Socrates also inventor of the sitcom kratts. So crates, so crates crates so okay. Also another fact. Now this, it's important to mention that this was common in Greece and not socially unacceptable.
Lots of things are common in Greece that we don't learn about in school. I want to talk about something. Yeah.
According to Plato, Socrates had a boyfriend, a hot young military officer boyfriend,
1314 years old.
Yep, yep. Here, here's a note. Here's another quote from Plato. Both of us have two loves apiece, I love a club ATI's, the son of solonius, and a philosophy but not his wife. But that is why I kind of dig that he loved his boyfriend and philosophy,
we should actually talk about that at some point, the actual like legal system that went into great ancient Greek and sexuality. It's actually really interesting.
He also had the inter history guy got a wife, wife and several kids and
started Shakespeare and I mean, it was a good thing.
So eventually, he was executed for lead, but but for leading the us away, From from the gods.
Well, I mean, the gods were staring up in creepily and offering candy. So.
So that was Socrates. Now, this is an important thing to know about Socrates. Much like Jesus, Socrates was bearded, and didn't write anything down. So everything we learned about him, we learned from his disciples,
kind of like, Oh my God, that's Shakespeare, too. He was, yeah, did. And yeah, he wrote stuff down, but it's gone. Everything we have was from his disciples.
Yeah. So everything we know about Socrates, and what he wrote is kind of viewed through the lens of mostly Plato. And we're going to talk about Plato because the more I learned about Plato, the more I realized he was a, he was a genius. He did do a lot of stuff, but he was wrong. He was wrong about lots of stuff. He was bad at logic, his art his everything he said, was just so wordy and complicated. He was near indecipherable even today.
So he's Tolkien.
Yeah. Just and just he just couldn't like just bad logic, bad arguments, everything was too long. So um, he was a student Socrates. He wrote it down. He is a big influence on what we know about Socrates. And the big thing about him was he loved defining terms.
Yeah, me too.
Yeah. He believed that everything had some ideal for out in the ether, and that everything could aspire to be like somewhere out there, there was the perfect tree, or the perfect cookie or the perfect sandwich or the perfect but, and everything was just a pale imitation of that
kind of like how we all strive to be Tom Hanks.
Yeah, none of us can be Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks is the ideal man. We know this. And so he like, and he wouldn't even start like arguing about things until he had figured out what the ideal form of something was. Like, for example, what is the ideal form of justice?
The ideal form of justice
I know it involves rehabilitation and not punitive measures unless otherwise necessary.
It's It's impossible to find justice for all cases, to the point where he would like to argue about it. And it's like, it's just you cannot ever you can never find a perfect definition of something. And you wouldn't even argue with something unless you thought he had a perfect definition.
You can never find a perfect definition of anything.
I mean, you can like simple things, but
not like complex things. Because like, I had some no bake cookies this week, and I'm pretty sure that they were the perfect definition of no bake cookies.
Okay, those might have cool, but are we ever going to be in the floss full discussion about no bake cookies? What if you have a peanut allergy? Were those the perfect no bake cookies?
You haven't an allergy does not detract from the perfection of the cookies. You just can't experience the cookies. We cannot there is no such thing as a peanut freenode cookie.
But do you think that the perfect peanut butter cookie would in the perfect no bake cookie would not kill people who ate it?
Well, I mean, honestly, at that point, it's thinning the herd because it's pretty obvious that there's peanut butter and I
see this is the problem with Socrates and Plato.
Unknown Speaker 47:55
you specifically are the problem so often as I'm putting up With this for half a lifetime, and it's broken me, the thing is broke me, you know, I'm just gonna go eat a big thing a chilly and start singing about it.
He knows that he can't beat me in an argument.
No, it's because you argue weird.
Well, it's like I had to take a test to get into gifted when I was in first grade. And I remember it was one of the spatial reasoning ones. And it was like, Where's the flower going to show up next on this 3d object? And I have been really mad about the question because I'm like, you can't prove to me that the object won't change its patterns and have the flower in a different location than expected.
So let's move on.
I had a similar question that I answered and I think it's what got me into it. It was is it easier to run on sand the grass or cement? And I said you start by training on sand.
Has the cement dried yet? Yeah, that was the kind of shoot I was doing. Yeah. So let's let's noxious. Let's look at what Plato said. Just one example. him talking about the soul, which again, you cannot disprove the soul. You cannot definitively prove that there is impossible to be a soul or really anything about you can't disprove stuff without the soul. So he spent 90 pages with weird analogies about cities and the soul to explain what boils down to this. If you act selfishly, it hurts your soul and makes you sad. Okay? And selfish people that are happy or just secretly sad,
selfish evolet are happier just secretly sad. Yep. I think that's actually probably true unless we as long as we throw out the psychopaths and sociopaths
Jeff Bezos is one happy motherfucker. And he is a greedy greedy dragon sitting upon a pile of gold.
Yeah, but it doesn't mean I can afford things that aren't from Amazon. Yep.
So and of course, if you tried to argue with any
money, it will stop supporting Jeff.
Yeah, if and then if you do try to argue with him. He simply would hide behind Socrates saying well, you know, Socrates said it
in my head. He is physically hiding behind soccer. He's you can't see me he's only
see me only mentally hiding behind Socrates. This is all theater of the mind.
Unknown Speaker 50:07
That's the like,
philosophical equivalent of not touching you can't get mad.
Yep, that's exactly what's going on. Thank you for not touching me because I cannot get mad. So, and the Socratic dialogues, which is what Plato wrote down are just strawman arguments that can be boiled down thusly. Socrates says a thing, Plato pretending to be someone else presents an opposing idea. Socrates speaks again, to disagree with you, enthusiastic agreement from everybody involved. That is the formula everything Plato wrote down.
Are you gonna talk about the allegory of the cave? That's the only thing I remember about him and I do not remember the allegory at all.
I don't remember the allegory of the cave either.
He tried to convince me yesterday that that's the point of the allegory is that you forget it. And then he asked me if I ever been in a cave that if I remembered it, the problem was I do remember being in a cave and I remember exactly how it smelled. So he wasn't able to continue his argument because I win every art.
So like Plato's arguments or straw man and they all kind of have a really like a Yeah, that happened thing because this is like half remembered arguments with Socrates that were overly simplified and just kind of stupid and pointless
and I feel like plenty would have things to
say that these people predate in predates the predates the paragraph. So it's just people agreeing with him was like the start of a paragraph or the end of that paragraph. That's how they did it.
And then everybody clapped.
Yep. But luckily, there was a madman in a barrel. Okay. We're gonna talk about Dr. Judy's now, which I'm sure like Chiti mentioned the agonies. But Chiti did not go into diabetes. There's a good reason for that. And we're going to get into it because you cannot talk about the allergies on TV, like not even HBO
a few minutes ago. Didn't you say? Are you like
you do? Should I be worried? You should be very worried. So dougies was the founder of the cynics,
the cynics, the cynics like see why and ICF
Yeah, okay. Yeah. Which they got their name from the Greek word a chi on or Chi Chi in coasts for dog because they wouldn't have the simplicity of a dog. It's like very to boil it down, like the modern version of it would be like people who take like the minimalist or Marie Kondo stuff way too fucking far, and live in a tiny house with a single bowl, a single glass and a mat,
which is weird, because I've got eight kids.
Yep. So weird. And one of them's named Matt. That's the only math they have. And the other is named dition. bowl. The others don't even have names because that's too
Unknown Speaker 52:36
complicated. Their names are tiny and house Yeah,
they just live in a pile of children.
You know, so bad. The dead baby jokes that early popular when we were kids.
Oh, God died and he's ruthless. We're funny, cuz he was also kind of an asshole. He lived in the street in a barrel. I'm on board up this guy. He would pee and poop in public because it was natural and anything you do in Private should also be okay to do in public. I'm less on board with this guy. He was also reportedly a furious public masturbator
Yeah, unless he got Swiss cheese involved.
Yep. True Crime
fans will understand my other people will think that I'm disgusting.
Yeah. And he said this even putting a stick like in the whole of the Swiss cheese was just resting over it. Like a towel. Okay, going on. He would walk around famously, he walk around with a lantern in broad daylight shining into people's faces, and claiming that he was looking for an honest man or by some translations a human being.
Okay, I'm back on board a little bit.
Yep. He lived on a diet of onions. Okay. He threw away his cup after he saw a child drinking water cut in his hands, saying, Oh my god, I have this completely unnecessary thing in my life. I must get rid of it.
He could have just given it to the kid.
But then the kid would have forgotten about the simplicity of being and been been less true to the moment did he shine his lantern
lantern in that kid's face, and He'll NBA,
maybe, huh? He could have known stopped him. He blinded so many children. Me too. He was obscene. He was rude. He broke taboos and viewed customs as a sort of a lie you tell yourself. So naturally, he was around the same time as Plato, you can tell that they got along. Another famous moment of daddy's life was when Plato said Socrates defined a man because bitch loved his definitions. As a featherless. biped head,
it's not wrong. Yep.
So the damage is through a pluck chicken at him and yelled, Behold, I brought you a man.
Okay, I would 10 out of 10 do that.
Yeah, this is why you argue like him. It's like, Okay, this is what it is. Well, what about this? It's like, oh, god damn it. Fine. I'm worse when I'm on mbn. So much worse.
But if it wasn't for that, I would still think happy bars had hubs. Yep.
Then Plato said that included with broad flat nails in his definition of a man with broad flat nails instead of like chicken claws. Hmm.
Yep. I'm trying to think of a way around this one.
Yeah. Also, I'm at this point I said, Can you imagine like, you know, like tidying up with Marie Kondo, but tidying up with the edge nice. How many chickens so many chickens so much pooping in public? And like Why do you have so many cups? You don't need any of these cups?
No bats do bats have claws or there's more flat
it's true they're not bite or they are bats
bipedal they have two legs
but they also when they walk they use their hands with their with their kind of their wings. But
if a human does not walk or if a human crawls, does it make it not have iPad?
See, this is why you can't get into arguments with
Yeah. Also. dije is also famously met with Alexander the Great, who was at this point in time conquering the known world. And because Socrates had been his teacher, he liked philosophers heard about this crazy guy living in a barrel shouting at Plato. He's like, I gotta see this shit. So Alexander in his retinue, go to dad's knees and die. He says, Get the fuck out of my sunlight.
Oh my god, that is the best way to throw shade. Oh,
I'm proud of you shouldn't be proud of that one. Fortunately, this has been a lot more fun than some of our other ones. Mostly because there hasn't been a genocide in this one.
I mean, I didn't go into all of Shakespeare's plays. So
I it's my fault for bringing up genocide in history podcast. That's my bad. Mia culpa.
So, punishment, like a like a, like a douchebag. Except for genocide.
The genocide jar.
That's the genocide. Yes.
So instead of having him killed on the spot, like you know, safe curtain current orange, what about dictators would do. He laughed it off and said, Oh, you and left. So at some point Dr. G's had to leave Athens in a hurry, probably for all the furious masturbating in public and was kept kidnapped by pirates. They thought he was witty, so they didn't kill him. And they sold him as a slave. And his master thought he was witty and decided you can absolutely teach my children.
Good night Wesley. Good work sleep. Well most likely kill you in the morning. It's like
good night diabetes. You just you just keep doing your thing, man. And don't worry, diabetes. He upgraded the lot. Once he stopped living a barrel at this point and started living in a wine jar.
How does that work?
There's a big ass wine job. How small was he? I mean, he wasn't like everyone was short in the past. I don't know. But yeah, they were big ass wine jars. Have you not seen like the M Flores?
No, the only old jar I've seen was the which jar that was protecting us against Donald Trump until it was removed in 2016.
These are like jars roughly the size of a mini fridge. So I guess it's Legs are sticking out of it.
Unknown Speaker 58:01
It wasn't a comfortable Sit down.
Yeah. I imagine it's like that Brecht play where they're just on top of their own tombs.
So a diabetes did die. No. Yeah, he's not still around.
He might have reincarnated.
Although I don't do any of those things in public that you should not do in public
yet. don't pee, poop or masturbate in public. That's disgusting. All of those things are disgusting. He did die. We don't know exactly how he was either bitten by a dog. He ate some raw octopus, or he just held his breath until he died.
See, plenty could have saved him from all three of these days. All of those fates.
So here's another thing that reminds that makes me you makes you remind me of dyads Nice. Um, he didn't want a funeral. He wanted to be thrown to wild beasts and torn apart. Instead of having a funeral, his friends didn't listen. And they buried him and they put a statue a pillar with a statue of a dog on Half of it as is great.
See from the beginning, I've told Austin, that when I die, my body is be taken out to see him thrown into the water where I will be eaten by sharks. And I don't think he thinks I'm serious.
You'll be dead. So I just agree with it. And then when the time comes, it's like,
nope. I mean, I'm an organ donor. So my good parts are gone. Anyway. It's true. You'll be bringing me and my like, dismantled Eilis corpse out into the sea, so that the ocean can just take what's left.
I'm gonna get so many kinds of arrested
Okay, international waters there are no laws just look at what happens on cruise ships.
Oh my god, I can Weekend at Bernie's you onto a cruise, they'll throw you over the edge
100% that is the most legal way to do this.
Okay, so I think we need to do something about maritime laws our next episode, because this has been fucked up. So let me just summarize this shit about Greek philosophy. Socrates is important guys. But we only know about him because Plato wrote stuff down. And Plato was kind of a dick. And he should be more of a history guy, not a philosophy guy. And guys needs his work into some modern thinking, but oh my god, he has an absolute, like, Dead Poets Society vibe going on about him.
I hate Dead Poets Society. Well, you know, he, it's just trying too hard. The musical.
Diabetes was kind of that, but he just pooped in public, so it was less creepy somehow.
I mean, isn't that basically Robin Williams character? Oh, let's do this crazy thing. And that means we're learning. Yeah,
that was it. It's like, let's throw away tradition. We could
learn more without it. I'm trying so hard to make this movie deep. It's why I started laughing during couple of movie previews this year, like Ferrari vs. Ford. I was like, look at this movie trying to win an Oscar.
Yeah. So that is my summary of Greek philosophy. And that's only like the tip of the iceberg of it. Seriously. Yeah. genies like, this is boring. Then I started my dad was like, Oh fuck, yes, I can do this.
Who was the one that Chiti runs into? I'm good place. I don't think that's a spoiler.
Oh gosh, it was
mean he runs into several because it is the good place but I
remember she was she was a woman. She was Phoebe was she Phoebe Fey and
you know, we didn't see in the good place. Who? Ross Geller? No.
Ross Keller would not be
there is no way like they liked him a bit under their new system and be like, nope, fuck you leave him in the back way.
It's like you got a secret extra bad.
Not the politics. that's a that's a kid.
Yeah, I don't I don't remember it. But I do remember I read her name reading about these. And she was a heathen who got killed by the Christians. But this was like, hundreds of years later.
Unknown Speaker 1:01:44
Yeah. What happens to a lot of them?
Yep. So you ready for some questions? Yeah. Okay, will the fact that Plato was one of Socrates his students be on the test? Yeah. All right, will the fact the Socratic method and therefore large parts of our justice system are based on Plato's strong Matt arguments with his deceased teacher beyond the test
it won't be worded like that. But yes,
yep with the fact that they actually is in plenty would probably have been BFFs beyond the test.
No, because neither one of them will be allowed on the test.
I just like I love like, I feel like they would have had such interesting discussions and respective bathtubs. I feel their respective bathtubs and they're completely different ways of going about things. But I think I've been like, Oh, I was like, Oh my god, you have died of onions. That is great. Because I haven't had a backache and I need your pee. Well, let me get in on this.
Oh my God, we need to Okay, so you know how there is a a Houdini and Doyle sitcom that happened for a while we need plenty and Dr. Ginny's
Oh God, that can't be a sitcom. That's
mean. We'd have to like tone it down or just put it on HBO.
HBO will touch this one. Game of Thrones. Okay, Game of Thrones is Over they need something they're going to swing it
anything dioz our time plenty endogeneity Yep, hashtag plenty and make it happen.
Who would play dyads? Nice. I'm not with Jason Lucas.
How old is bad knees in this version of things?
I didn't get a really good idea from what I read.
I could see Jason was Lucas. I'm, I'm thinking like somebody Paul Giamatti would definitely play
now is playing Oh, yeah. Dad, you totally argue with Plato, because he threw a chicken at him.
All right. So I feel like Pliny the Elder, I don't know why, but I feel like that's Jason Segel.
Yes. That's, I would go with that. Alright, so I got a couple more questions. And there's some important ones. Well, by Plato's philosophy, the fact that the perfect sandwich exists somewhere out there and we have yet to discover it be on the
test, as in we personally have yet to discover because I believe it has been discovered.
I don't think the perfect sandwich has been discovered.
I believe it is. It is at some back hidden Delhi in New York City. It's there. We personally just have not discovered it.
Yeah, definitely the perfect sandwich is a Reuben of some kind, but I don't know what Reuben what is the perfect ratio of sauerkraut to mustard? We know we may never know
somebody in New York City knows. Yeah.
And finally, well, the fact that for a brief moment chickens were people be on the test
for a brief moment. Have you met people?
Were chickens people,
chickens are people and vice versa. I mean, I watched mad wasn't on TV or was it kids in the hall that had the chicken lady? Either way, it's just imposing
Animaniacs you have the chicken guy?
No Chicken Chicken lady. It was and that's okay. Remember the first season of American Idol the guy who got second place? Justin guarini. I have
yet to watch.
His proof that the chicken lady is a real thing because he looks exactly like her. So chickens are people and people are chickens.
So I didn't watch Okay, not only did you get interested in theater, but I've only watched reality TV because of her
and he makes requests now
some of it's so bad.
Yeah, but it makes you feel like good about your own life.
No, it makes me feel so bad about humanity in the world. And it makes me just want to go live in a wine barrel and start pooping in the street.
I feel like there are places where you can do that.
No, they're very clean.
You ever been to Vegas? New Jersey. Everything's legal in New Jersey. Everything is legal in New Jersey. Thank you, Mr. Wizard all Miranda. You are
the other Okay, who is the perfect man Tom Hanks, or Linda? No, Miranda.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
Or is it just Mr. Rogers? We need to stop the argument.
You I don't know. I just cannot know anymore. I'm incapable of knowing. What do you want Draco?
Anyway, so what's something you learned about Shakespeare and stealing the theater and the globe and whatnot today
that it really was the techies that did everything, including stealing a theater and does Actors should be lucky to have them.
Yeah, they were the technicians themselves. They did all of this because the two cannot be separated. Yeah, you need to have both. You need to have both. I learned all about dyads knees. I've never heard of bad knees. They even mentioned him on the good place. I'm sure they mentioned them, but that's a mention. They mentioned that.
They acknowledged his existence. But he was not a good place.
I bet he got into the good place in the end of the Oh
yeah, absolutely. Good place was so good.
Please watch it if you haven't. It's worth it. It's really good.
And they do a much better job of explaining philosophy than I did.
Yeah, I actually understood stuff. Although I'm sitting here I'm watching it I'm like I think was reincarnation makes a lot of sense. Like you come to earth you fuck up for 70 years you go all you learn about how you fucked up, you gotta take a break, then you go back and you try
again until you get it right. Then you stop existing.
So that is the goal. So this is Tom Hanks and linnell Miranda's last existences. We can that we can agree on this. Yes. Oh no, I'm really sad because they've gotten it right. They've clearly gotten it right.
I'm still really sad. But
no, that means they get to be a part of the greater universe after this and they become part of everything. And we can both agree this is Donald Trump's first go round.
Oh, yeah, he was I'm going to say bedbug before this. But he was a great bedbug.
I don't believe in the whole interspecies thing. I think animals just get to move on. They get to go and live in Nirvana. I mean, maybe that's the last stage maybe maybe Tom Hanks, and the memoranda get to come back as spoiled pets after this.
So okay, speaking of my favorite afterlife theories from fiction is from Terry Pratchett book in which there are these little blue Pixie men called the neck fiegel who believe that they are in fact in the afterlife right now, because they get to spend all of their time drinking and fighting and stealing. And when they die from this, they go back to the real world and are away from this paradise. I get that. They're also very Scottish.
Me too. Yeah. Hence the paleness In the black hair
Yeah, I'm also very pale but I'm blonde
you just went to Arizona man
it's true I have like I've got like three entire molecules of melatonin in my body now
melanin Melatonin is what makes you gotta sleep.
I've got three of those two
now we looked at my hands earlier and they are legitimately white like you could hold him up against paper and go Yep, that's why I'm doing it right now. Mr. Little Willie shaven squeezed but yeah. So today was an exciting episode. It was a very exciting it was nothing super serious that happened for once and
I'm much like that one episode of Doctor Who there wasn't a genocide and this one
just this once nobody dies except for Dr. Ginny's.
Well, and Shakespeare is dead too. And I guess Plato's dead everybody in our stories are dead. Everyone in our stories are dead. Well, that's a bummer. Now. I did specifically talk about how two people died in mind.
God damn it. History is the worst because everybody's dead.
Everybody's dead unless we're doing very recent history. Which is still most of them are dead. Yeah.
radium girls. them dead
Unknown Speaker 1:09:04
they dead. And on that happy note where can people find us where they can find us
at on twitter at all the test pod on Instagram at on the test pod on Facebook at on the test pod and at all the test pod calm
yes, we do have an email, email address, but social media is the easiest way to get hold of us because I don't check that every day. I mostly use it to try to you know, get discounts on things that I already use my email address for
Yeah. It's like it's like yeah, we were gonna get another season at CBS go he's gonna see email. Okay.
Oh, I actually canceled my account today. And they were like, please don't leave and give me a month.
Nice so I can watch more Picard
more Picard and I can watch the finale of evil.
Oh my god. So current is so good.
Yeah, see, the thing is CBS. We wouldn't hate you so much. If you didn't somehow get your own shows removed. Like I would like to go and watch the last season of Big Bang Theory. But you don't have the rights to your own show. How I don't know CBS like, oh god, it's like we're gonna abuse these these free trials to watch all of the card. I know that for a fact. Well, you got a month with this one and then we got a couple more email addresses to go.
Yep. So yeah, we've got that and, you know, please if you like, if we got something wrong, let us know we'll correct ourselves we love you won't or remote.
Because we're we are just mysterious. That way you don't know what we're gonna do? Or if
there's something you'd like to see guest discussions. I know we've got a suggestion recently that we're working on so
yeah, we are open to suggestions because we are not rich enough to give it to a certain level yet yet. We don't even have a Patreon at this point.
Yes. And if we even we did have a Patreon. I don't think we would,
although we did just subscribe to hellofresh. So if you want to tell hellofresh to sponsor us, that'd be great.
Or like we needed a mattress Casper
yo to need a new mattress. We actually just talking about how we need a bigger bed because neither one of us likes to be near somebody else when you sleep. But we also don't want to be that couple that has separate bedrooms that are old at only 33 and 34. Yeah, like we're going to last until at least 40. Before we realized that we're too tired of each other,
yes, then we're going to start fighting like xanthi and Socrates, I'll be sad to be
like Shakespeare and Anne Hathaway have a lot harder to fight with you live hours apart for your entire marriage with in Hathaway like his wife was a woman. His wife was named Anne Hathaway. And halfways parents knew this when they named her and halfway his mother was like the modern and halfways mother was an opera singer
is is Anne Hathaway a time traveler. She says now, but isn't that what a time traveler
to watch? You need to watch the the Google autocomplete interviews that she did. Could you talk a little bit about this actually.
both and halfa is the are the O g and halfway had a rough go of it, but I might talk about that another time. However, if you find yourself in the England area, and they haven't breakfasted their way off of the earth yet,
actually, as we're recording this Brexit literally happened while we were recording, so
Again, they have Brexit of their way off of the earth. And hathaways house is still standing in Stratford upon Avon, Avon what you probably heard about in class and never really thought that's really far away from London. So you never really thought how is he his wife in Stratford and he's in London and they're still married,
because they're hours apart.
They were hours apart. He ditched her. I'll talk about that another time. So the bitch, they had three kids at one point,
how they were miles apart. Was it like a dicey situation with just
just say, you'd have to be generous with your math based on their wedding date?
and generous with your biology based on their rotation to each other. By hashtag deep south. We know none of y'all are listening.
Yeah, yeah, it's like, um, we we've made fun of Trump. How many times this episode Yeah, you know, Brexit. Yeah,
I'm gonna, I'm gonna say in fairness, there are perfectly lovely people in the deep south, who have been wise decisions that are there because that's where they live. That's it. Yeah. You are cool. If you are out there going, though it's like, well, I don't want them trannys in my target bathroom. You're not listening anyway.
Yeah. And plus, I mean, the people I know who say that don't have access to the internet and probably could use it and probably could not use an iPhone to rate and review us anyway.
Yeah, you're not welcome here if you're one of those people, but if you are not one of those people, and even enjoyed what you've heard today or any other time, go on to iTunes or any other space that lets you review give us a five star rating give us a review. We said we would do some kind of weird movie review if we got 100 we asked a lot too. So give us some more. And also more importantly, tell a friend
Yeah, I even say like I've gotten vampires kiss right now. We'll do a special Nicolas Cage movie review. If we get to 10
or vilasa. Pastor philosoph pastor we love really bad horror movies. Although I think we promised them we do it on a historical movie that and I look at it bracket.
dinosaurs are historical,
like the Harriet Tubman movie. I was watching the Kind of going. I feel like this isn't right. And like Janelle Monae have
a gun in that, or am I getting my movies completed again?
It just hasn't done at all time. It's not on her person, but she can summon it.
You know, it's as as a warlock. I disrespect What?
I actually attended a school. Not at the same time, obviously, because we're close to the same age as her. Yeah. And as far as I know, I was not teaching her as a 30 year old, nor was I teaching as a 13 year olds.
It's like, it's like I had a very generous student teacher program.
But all I can think if they never had this little display in the library, that was like Janelle Monae attended this school and I'm like, I wonder if they left that up. After her album with the whole vagina theme song happening? And her her very like, I am proud to be bisexual moment in Rolling Stone. Yeah, I kind of wonder if he left that up. They I hope they did because especially students of color need to be told it's okay.
Okay, Janell Monet She is fresher. She's awesome. Like just her entire philosophy, her music, like the fact that she had like the most just absolute just Prince level of energy in her in her songs and just like captured it perfectly but still had it to be your own thing was just phenomenal. And I love it.
And unlike Beyonce, she's actually a good actor.
Oh, damn, she is actually a good
actor. I mean, if you've seen beyond saying things, you know how much you love Beyonce, you cannot tell me she was good and Austin Powers and that's for Austin Powers.
Yeah, I remember she got upstaged by mini me. He's dead. Now. Another dead one. What's wrong with us? It's everybody. It's
a history podcast. Would you start listing dead people, if not enough people died in our store.
If we random ideas, we might just start listing people that have died, will get the obituaries
out and start
reading them. Oh, my God look turned into our grandparents. Okay,
I love obituaries. Okay, awesome. I need you to promise me something right now. When I die, you have to put in there what happened to me even if it's really boring, because there's always someone like me who reads it and goes, What happened? give that person something tell them the truth, but put it in there even was really embarrassing. Like Maddie got her pants like stuck in the escalator and that's not what killed her. She died of shame after having her underwear shown because it was the wrong day of the week.
Yep. All right. I will say when I die, you need to definitely put my obituary like a couple of random family members that don't actually exist. So future genealogy people will just be really fucking confused. He
has survived by his Brother Lin Manuel Miranda. Yes, cousin Tom Hanks and his daughter somehow Christie Teague.
Yes, even though she is a year older than me.
No, you're the same age.
she's accomplished so much more than me.
And then we'll really freak them out and say you're related to Ross Geller don't die with
little characters put in fictional characters.
So that related to call them Caulfield,
like, like, Well, you know, we thought they were fictional but we found some collaborative evidence that they were actually real person. Oh my god, guys,
if you want to tell us your ideal obituary, please do. Yeah.
And on that note, Class dismissed. You're not the boss. Ah, chaos.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai