Will This Be on the Test? Transcripts
Hi everybody and welcome to Will This Be On the Test? I'm Maddie.
And we are here today to talk to you about the things that you didn't learn about in school, but maybe you should have.
Yeah, and I'm being a little slow today. Sorry we recorded one episode earlier and I feel like we've used up all of our banter.
We didn't even banter in the last one
we just go right into it because it was important, but this time we need to banter and I am like losing my mind banter, banter. We are bantering
Honestly, our lives have not been that interesting lately. Austin went to a gaming event
yet I lost terrifically
Yeah, and I went to my sister in law's birthday party we went to a Tiki Bar and it was it was something else the food upstairs was awesome like the point where I'm want to take Austin back there because the macaroni and cheese and the fries were really good. Like I didn't even I had leftover macaroni and I didn't share it. It was so good.
And she sent me a picture of her drink. And it looked like it was bright red. And there were mint leaves sticking out of every part of it.
Yeah, it was about 16 at least 16 ounces, maybe more. And it had three different kinds of rum and brandy and orange liqueur in it. So
okay, what ridiculous name did this thing have?
Cat bird sit?
Okay, that's not nearly as ridiculous as I thought it would be. Yeah,
it was in the Tiki Bar. And I don't know what it meant. But it was good. So yeah, it was just an interesting little place here in Kansas City. Although this place is hard to get into, like, you have to have a reservation and if your whole party's not there, then you can't get in the whole place. Maybe if it's 100 people based on what I saw, we were 23 of them.
So Oh my God, that's huge.
Yeah, we were a big group. And I mean, if anything else been going on, um, it
snowed and iced
tea. We're talking about this now. And it will have been two weeks since all this happened by the time this airs.
Oh yeah. We're talking about the distant past. I mean, it's probably it's
Four score and seven years ago,
you'll still be February or January. I don't know the dates, but it'll be winter when this
Yeah, it'll be barely still January when this airs, but we're recording early because Austin is flying out to Phoenix this week and will be gone over our normal recording days. He's excited to get out of the cold and to see his family but unfortunately, he's going for a funeral and,
but it's okay. I mean, it's my family. So we're gonna play cards and swear and play Scrabble and swear.
Yeah, you better send me some like videos of this. I've never gotten to play Scrabble with your terrifying grandmother. Oh my god, his grandmother's not terrifying. In actuality, I just gather she is during Scrabble.
It's I remember, like, as a small child playing a really good word and Scrabble. She's like, Oh, that's great. Good job. Then she crushed me and was like, beaten up like by like, 200 points as a child. Or when grandma decided that you know what, I get a lot of points for putting cunt down as a word in Scrabble against my eight year old sister.
Did she have to explain what it meant after that?
Oh, yeah. Because, you know, it's like, I swear, it's kids can tell when it's a bad word. And when it's a word, they're just, they just don't know. It's like, it's like, I don't know that word. That's fine. I don't know that word. But something tells me it's a dirty word. And I need to ask questions.
I love that she didn't let you win, though.
Oh, no. To this day, she will like she will crush you beneath her feet.
Yeah, I'm a big fan of not letting kids win. I mean, if they're really bad at something, let them win once in a while, I kind of get it because if it's something you really want them to enjoy, I get that. But letting them win every time it makes them into bad winners and bad losers later on. And I still remember like the absolute pride. I felt the first time I beat my dad at air hockey. My dad kicked ass at air hockey, but when I was like, 11, I beat him and it was awesome. because he'd never let me win and he was like full on just like whip that thing across the table and oh, man, it was awesome. So we're recording early because of that. And we don't have a theme unlike last last week, which we recorded an hour ago. Yeah, we don't have a theme, but continue to donate to places in Australia, please do because they will still need it. Even if the fires have burned out by this time knock on wood. They'll still need help. Just like Puerto Rico still needs help.
Puerto Rico needs lots of help.
Yeah, everything the whole world of kind of exploding Guys, if you've noticed, like Puerto Rico is flooding and
the Philippines is the volcano going on.
And New Zealand also had a volcano. Kansas had a pretty hefty earthquake today. I know. Like this is some End of Days revelation shit that's happening right now. There are places out there South America where animals are constantly being born of two heads and without skin and stuff like we got some revelation shit. I mean,
I think that one's downstream from a chemical processing plant though.
I'm pretty sure that is also in Revelations.
Yeah, it's like and the Beast shall appear and it shall be near where the name Dupont didn't kill pollute your waterways.
I mean, that's pretty much what we learned from fern gully. Yeah, well today I went first last time, so it's Austin's turn this time I
could go first. It's like I've been talking for an hour straight. Yeah. Alright. So I'm going to talk about something really weird, like weirder than usual. Because this is an ecological disaster,
just like DuPont and the end of days, but it kind
of turned out okay for a while, and then it went straight back to being an ecological disaster that is ongoing and will present huge problems for the entire state of California.
Speaking of revelations, how the world is going to hell.
So I'm talking to you about the Salton Sea,
the salt and sea?
salt in Sal t o n. Ok. Salton Sea. Okay, so what happened once upon a time, it was just Salton something. I can't remember it ready.
You want some help?
The Salton Sink There we go. The Salton Sea. it was just a spot of old like primordial dry lake bed in California, but they decided we're gonna start farming in this area because you know why not they start an irrigation project from the Colorado River. But it didn't go very well. It kind of got clogged up with cell from the river and overflowed and cut into the dam and everything. And for two here we go. They fucked up and diverted the river into the Sultan sink and it took them two years to stop this leak. Did you drop your phone in your wine?
Oh, and you were trying to get me to call you out on that. I saw you being sneaky. No, I moved it out so you can see it. It didn't fall all the way and it just fell into the room of the glass.
benefit of not using actual wine glasses.
Yeah, don't use what actual wine glasses you can drop your phone in them.
And I can wash this without having to do it by hand because I really hate hand washing. I worked as a dishwasher for a while. And it just trauma. Like
storing wine glasses. They're so tall. We don't have good places to keep them stored.
I got them hidden up in that tiny shelf.
Oh got the tiny shelf.
Right which is very different from our haunted shelf.
Yes. Our haunted shelf where I think seriously when we move out of here we need to put something really creepy up there.
Yeah, when we move out okay, it's this hidden shelf that I didn't see for the first two and a half years we lived here until I was up cleaning and it's tucked behind a wall and it's completely dark. I was so bummed there wasn't anything in it. The plan for me is a Luigi board some candles and adult
I'm going with an old timey photo where the where the faces of everybody but one creepy child are burned out
okay we'll have to discuss this after we will important decision
This is like there's other
this you know, we need to get this setup just in case we unexpectedly die. Oh my god.
Yes. Let's not do any estate planning but we need to have this
setup. Exactly. I mean, what a state We need to plan for us who's going to get our cat? Oh, that's that's a tough question. It is. We need to make sure it's somebody who won't let them outside.
We need a responsible cat owner in case something unexpected should happen to us.
Yeah, that's all that matters. Like, we don't own anything of import. So last week when Austin triangulated our position, we don't have anything worth stealing. I mean, I have a amazon fire tablet for God's sake.
I narrowed it, I narrowed it down to 10 square miles. I think we're fine. But anyway, yeah, it's it took them two years to stop this leak. And during that time, it was dangerously close to eroding all the way back to the Colorado River and being completely unstoppable. At some points. There was a 300 foot waterfall from the erosion of this, and it was like, it was fine. They finally got it patched after two years, but by the end it was too late. It had filled up and created the Salton Sea. It's a buck 50 it's about 15 miles from Palm Springs. super close to Coachella. So you like you know, Beyonce? Unless you want Coachella to start smelling like sulfur and rancid fish. You should probably work on fixing this
one guys. This is not a good place to get high at Coachella and then go take in stuff photos that
No, actually, it is all about the gram now.
Yeah, it's always it's the place that has like the bright colored
water. No, this is something else. Okay. But anyway, it's a it's an emergency cut. It's California is largest lake. Now, if you look at a map of California, you'll see it. It's like that big spot of water in Southern California. That's this. You're thinking I've ever looked at a map. It's true. I mean, you haven't seen the ruler why would expect you to be able to have seen a map.
Hey, though, thanks to my job. I can now name all 50 states. Yeah, except I always forget Maryland. I've been there multiple times. But for some reason I always forget Maryland.
So uh, when it flooded though a town a railway line, and the Torres Martinez Native American lands flooded in Oregon. But it's a lake it's about 350 square miles. It's about it's about 15 miles by 35 miles. And it's roughly the size of San Diego. Okay? Yeah.
I say authoritatively, like San Diego.
So at first, the Navy used it for training and testing. But it's real success was as a resort used for water skiing, boating and fishing and like just beach stuff, because it was a giant lake that didn't have anything built up around it in Southern California, where basically everybody lives. This was a huge tourist destination for a long time, like back in the 50s 60s and 70s. They had a $2 million Yacht Club built there. Its members included the Beach Boys, Jerry Lewis, and the Marx Brothers. Okay, yeah, so this was a hoppin place there was clubs, resorts, It was the vacation spot for Southern California for a long time. Half a dozen towns sprung up along this lake, but why don't we hear about this lake anymore?
Cuz it kills people.
it got gross and we're not talking just like resort town gross. We're talking actually gross. There was that there isn't it's so it's an emblem Lake but doesn't have an outlet so it's getting saltier and saltier as time goes by, much like your average drag queen has Jade. Good Good call. It's currently about twice as salty as Pacific Ocean. And this is nuts, but 3.6 million tons of salt are deposited every year in this lake.
Is it like usable salt can we get it out.
I mean, you could you could there's actually some of the plans to fix it involve desalinization plants, it will provide water for California would it be
usable for that lowers the salt like poisoned,
it's also poison because there's also incredible amounts of agricultural runoff. So this is caused because it's consultants all here. They've been massive fish die offs, colossal algae blooms, which also caused fish die offs.
Oh, is that why the instagramers are there the algae?
no, we're going to get to it. instagramers are there and massive bird deaths because this came a became a spot for migratory birds to stop and migratory waterfowl. But then the water got kind of poisonous, and they died. As you can imagine the millions of pounds of dead fish and birds and out and writing algae smells real bad. I'd imagine. So when the wind is right, you can actually smell the Salton Sea in Los Angeles. Yeah, yeah. It smells like rotten eggs.
Is there a time of year we should avoid
this place? all times of year. Full Time always avoid California got avoid the Salton Sea. Actually, we're talking about going to California will need to keep this in mind. So obviously, this has negatively impacted tourism in the area. Shocking. Yeah, here we go. That North Shore beach and Yacht Club that was talking about it was finally a big ended in 1984, partly because the fluctuating water levels, what are you doing?
There's a hole
nor my pants hole. Okay, the North Shore beach and Yacht Club was abandoned in 1984 because the fluctuating water levels actually made it so the jetty and all the spots where you could launch boats and get on boats from, we're no longer in the water. And also because there were thousands of dead fish washed up on the short
Yeah, the recent droughts have actually made things worse. They currently there's about 20,000 acres of exposed dry lake bed around this lake. And because there's less water coming in because of the drought, and more water is being used for irrigation, so less water was getting into it from that it also to interrupted bird migrations again. So there's another big bird dry die out. And because it's been drying up, and there's all of that agricultural runoff. There have been clouds of toxic dust coming up from this dry lake bed. It's also related Lots of respiratory disease in the area, one in five children living in the area of insolvency have asthma as compared to the national average of one in eight. Okay. This is like as bad as the children living in like Bombay and Beijing, where they've had like, killer smog. It is that band la
spent all that time and money eliminating their smog problem.
Yeah, they're not doing that with this. Nope, they're not. Currently there's not a lot of being done. There's some efforts to save the Salton Sea because of their one of their former Congressman, I'd like you to guess who this former congressman was. He was trying to save the Salton Sea. Oh God,
the one that's been alive for 3000 years. No,
it's Sonny Bono.
Oh, wait, no, Sonny Bono is dead. He's dead.
But he was trying to save it back when he was alive. Okay, so Sonny Bono was the guy who spearheaded it and a lot of the stuff involved in saving the Salton Sea is named after Sonny Bono shares husband, ex husband, dad, husband. He's dead. He he died. What skiing? He ran into a tree? I think
so. Yeah, I know. It was a skiing accident. Yep.
So they're estimating in 10 years, they'll be about 60,000 acres of exposed lake bed. unless something is done.
Well, acres two miles because you put it in miles to me earlier and now I can't
I can't picture that. And an acre is about the size of a football field. What are football fields two miles, okay, um, it's an acre. It's, it's one of those things you should just know. No, I know what an
acre is. But now I'm trying to get acres two miles in my head to figure out how much of the ocean or the sea that is. It's, it's not I'm looking at people.
Yeah. So parts of the plan is to save it involve actually piping more water into it, allowing more water to come into it, but also piping water out of it to decrease the salinity. Uh huh. So it stops becoming like a dead sea type situation where all the fish are dying.
How many acres are going to
That is about 93.75 square miles, which would be about 25%.
Yeah. Okay. So it's, it's going to be, again, global warming and droughts.
Global warming's not real.
It's very real, not real, super real.
arson causes all of that. They're
planning on piping water out and either moving it like, literally piping it into Mexico was one of the plans. Yet another plan involved piping it out and using a desalinization process, which basically involves boiling it and pulling all the salt out and using the water vapor to make water and using that water to ride water for the city of Los Angeles. Okay, here's
an idea. Think about places like the crescent hotel where they convinced you a little magical, the water was magic. Uh huh. What if we tell Trump this water is magic and then he needs to have it at Mar a Lago? That would be a gigantic pipeline.
Well, we'll just put it in trucks or some shit. Yeah. So currently, the low end estimates of these plans running at about $9 billion to save this all NC
telling you the Trump plan is the way to go. He'll pay for it.
Yeah. So probably it's like a lot of these plans would if nothing's done, it's going to increase the the toxic dust, which will cause about $13 billion in additional medical costs.
Yeah, that's a little more, but you know that government has to pay for that.
So it's like, but it's again, there's a drought, they can't put more water into this lake. The cost of piping it out. It's expensive. There's not a really good solution to this. And in 2018, there 11 proposals were made about what to do with this. None of them were approved.
Need Sonny Bono back? Yeah, we got a bonus Girls, come talk to them.
Sonny Bono's ghost. We've got a big board that we're planning on putting in a secret little cabinet. We would like to welcome we'd like to invite you on to our podcast with Luigi board.
Yes, please. Oh my God, we should do that. We should have weekly board podcasts
where we're talking to famous ghosts with a big board. That won't go poorly.
Not in my house, but maybe in the garage.
Friends houses will just like stealth do a podcast it like the friends we don't really like. So I mean unless you're the friend who catches us recording your house then we like you we just had a good idea decided to record their something ghosts
yeah we just really like we really like you we chose your house cuz we like you.
So what are the what are some of the current tourist attractions are out there because people are still going there?
I don't know what are they Austin? Well,
the current noteworthy attractions are tourism exploring the abandoned towns and resorts and stuff around there. There's lots of people it's like it's it's modern, abandoned like towns, and there's a lot of tourism, mainly people on Instagram taking photos of like dilapidated buildings, and it's
I guess it's a high school photography project. Yeah,
it's like your high school photography project. And there's also Mud Volcanoes,
caused by some geothermal activity on the eastern shore. So people go out to see these Mud Volcanoes.
Do they get into the nasty mud?
No, cuz it's toxic and it sounds like I
gotta do it for the ground. For the gram
and probably it's my volcanoes it probably skirts your skin off, but for the grave and there's another thing there that people come to do. And I honestly hate to tell you specifically about this.
Oh no, are there goats?
worse. It is Slab City, slab, Slab City. It's an abandoned marine base that a bunch of squatters kind of showed up at and it is a bunch of Van people living for free.
I love it. Old to get any of these diseases and if I take them, I'd be living in a van. I'm happy. It's a huge
squatter camp. There's about 150 full time residents. But there are many, many snowbirds that come down there and their mobile homes to avoid cold when the cold winters and they drive out again in the summer when it gets hot.
All I want in
my life is to live in a van. There are no sewers, no electricity, no water, no garbage pickup, but there are also no parking fees. So if your A self contained van and you're about that living off the grid life. This is the community for you.
Yes, I'm gonna go live there now by
it is an enclave of anarchy. That is how they advertise themselves. But be warned. It is also famous for some truly insane Christian folk art. That's awesome. For example, there is salvation Hill. A, it is literally an entire Hill painted with the Bible verses visible from the highway.
That's the mo Okay, okay.
And then there's East Jesus. Okay, I cannot explain this. It's basically someone took garbage and said I'm making this as an art didn't do a great job at
it. Okay, Austin, you are not taking away from my desire
to live in this place. And it's like, it is just It is literally garbage turned into folk art, which folk art is the worst art. Okay, and he died though. But now there's a goddamn Jesus
The guy who created East Jesus Died
he'll be back in three days it's fine
West Jesus and there's a goddamn nonprofit trying to preserve it and prevent the state of unexpanded and prevent the state of California from moving in and taking over this land that they technically own
you know out of all like the van life places This one sounds relatively safe other than like the chemicals in the air but I mean, I have a feeling that this is a place where like if you are just out driving and you get tired and lost and you pull up there you're probably not going to get raped and murdered. I didn't want to tell you this.
Oh, they call it East Jesus because it's in the middle of nowhere but it's not because you can see the fucking highway from it.
They didn't call it but fucking Egypt Austin they call the East Jesus.
Okay if they call it but but fucking Egypt, I would be on board with this project. So California currently wants to sell the land. But my god the community there raised a stink and they want to buy it for $1 an acre.
Okay. Give them $1
these are full time van people. This is what you want to get into it. 100% in you are warned,
I want I want to go live in my man. I'm like those VW vans, they're advertising. It's my dream life. It's just like this is it sounds so gross. Not only does it smell like rotten
eggs, but it's full of retirees and RVs and hippies and folk art.
Yeah, it sounds great.
It's like Why?
Why? Cuz I don't have to deal with anybody any longer. I had better
finally be senile and living at home when you do this. Alright, so
five years from now, please. Two years from now. I'm already slipping. You heard my intro.
So are you ready for some questions about what's gonna be on the test? Oh, that was short. It was real short.
Yeah, I'm ready.
All right, because I thought you were rage typing years. So I assume you're gonna go real long.
It's a little long. Yeah,
yeah. Yay. I'm smart. I'm the smart one today for two years for two years. So you ready for some question? Yep. All right. Will This Be On the Test? Well, the fact that this was created completely by accident beyond the test, yeah. Well, the fact that it could kill thousands and make Southern California smell like rotten eggs for decades beyond the test, yeah. Well, the fact that Sonny Bono was a congressman be on the test.
Oh, I mean, that doesn't even need to be on the test. That's just common knowledge.
It's just it still baffles me that Sonny Bono was a congressman.
I mean, so as Shirley Temple was a congressman or a Senator, I can't remember which
she was a ambassador. Okay, yeah. And well, East Jesus be on the Test. No. Good, godly
candy going through my pants.
Well, I sense that there was candy in your pocket. If my candy
This is what marriage is really like, children listening at home. Like all of this stuff about ecological disaster and Thousands of years of awful This is not the real message. It's that marriage is weird.
is real fucking marriage is I'm
wearing pajama pants and she's mad. There's a hole in him. So she stole my candy.
Yep. I hate holes and clothes. I hate stains on clothes. It just, Oh,
is that why you've sewn all the sleeves in my T shirts shut and the neckholes. They're just pillows, pillows. They're full of candy wrappers
run around naked. His work does not like it
is so cold in there. I keep saying it's like, Hey, you need to fix the heat in here. And they're like, No, you need to put on some pants in here. That's like, Whatever. I'm gonna talk to HR. They're like good talk to HR. You're not wearing pants.
But you're not harassing anybody. So they're fine. I mean,
I guess that would that still be harassment?
No, I don't think it actually would. There has to be a certain level of like, forcefulness going on with it. So unless you're walking around and like showing directly to people on purpose,
I do. bed and have to bend over and pick up lots of things during the day
lift with your legs not with your back, but kind of make that booty go pop. Now it's no it's harassment.
You yell that every
that is that that is my email signature. Make the booty go pop was like some people have an inspirational quote or their pronouns I've got make the booty go pop.
Hey, at least you to change it from to the windows to the wall.
Marriage is weird kids.
I think we're just weird. We did. We can't blame the institution of marriage for this. This is on us.
I'll tell you though, I think most married people are lying when they're in public. Acting all normal and shit.
Yeah, it's like, we're we're are weird, but we own it.
Yeah. So you ready for my topic? Yes. I'm gonna start with a Question All right, what was your favorite thing to eat during school lunch?
That's super easy chicken nuggets with ketchup
see mine was also I would get so excited for chicken nugget day it was only like once a month
and then like later realized oh my god you can you get the mashed potatoes and gravy with the chicken nuggets you can dip the nuggets into the mashed potatoes and gravy
on your biscuit
you got biscuit or roll whatever oh yeah on the roll. Yeah we do that
only do it like once because it was just enough for one chicken nugget. But you would pile those mashed potatoes on green beans or something which were actually okay when you mix them with mashed potatoes. Yeah, like I'm sure there was a dessert I think was one of those awful I
think it was situation though. It was cinnamon rolls because there's always a we didn't have cinnamon roll. We always got cinnamon rolls with chicken nuggets. That's what I think that's why the chicken nuggets are so good because you have the cinnamon roll.
Cinnamon Rolls I think are like a distinctly Kansas School Lunch thing. But I've been here about this chili and cinnamon rolls and the chili experienced that. Yeah,
yeah. Okay, so Kansas like we're awful for many reasons, but apparently we get chicken nuggets and cinnamon rolls and school lunches. So
you know, we didn't talk about on the last episode that we should have what the fact that Missouri is trying to jail all the librarians.
Okay, Missouri, jailing librarians What
the hell, man? Yeah, the first reason is that they want to jail librarians for giving kids access to quote inappropriate books that some parental council would decide on. Like, if your kid is 10 they can't read this book, even if they're interested in their parents give you the thumbs up. And then now it's drag queen story time, which has groups of like two to 400 kids coming to listen, but some Republican out there is like, Oh, that's immoral. And now it's in either case, if the library and let a kid check out a book that's not approved, they go to jail. If a librarian allows a drag queen to read stories, I'm assuming even to their own child, the librarian can go to jail. Now obviously neither of these has passed yet. Yeah, but what is his night fail? In Missouri is Missouri Nightingale that's the only reason to be afraid of library. Okay,
I am not very surprised by this because like, basically this entire year, there has been a Library District of Missouri nearby us that has been having a fight with their library board about whether or not they can have basically some programming that is in favor of trans youth and basically treating them like humans and preventing suicides with them.
Yeah, it's literally about how do we help these kids not kill themselves?
Someone made a big fuss about it so they're bored blocked it, and it's just it's a it's a nightmare, Missouri, you're making Kansas look saying I never thought I'd see the day and this is really weird.
Yeah, guys, knock it the fuck off now. I kind of doubt this has a ton of general support. I
if this passes, I will eat your hat.
I don't have it. Oh, no, I have one hat. You're not allowed to eat
it. Fine. I'll eat my hat. The gross one.
The gross the orange one.
No, the Royals one that's kind of like
oh well now I want to wash it so bad.
This is after it's been washed. washed it before,
can I wash it up? Anybody can get it clean.
It's me. Yeah, go ahead and try washing it.
Okay. I'm excited. Now. He has
one hobby and that hobby is laundry.
Okay, so back to the topic because you were saying Kansas was pretty bad at stuff and there's there are worse things. So all too often if you ask a kid what their favorite school subject is they give you one of two answers. What are they
recess and lunch,
recess and lunch? And then they followed up by saying, even though the food isn't very good,
yeah, school lunches were not great
that putting aside the fact that this draws into sharp relief, the need for school reform and the needs for more social time within the school day. I always kind of liked the food. I mean, I'm not a picky eater, as you know, but I always liked I liked the pizza. I liked that cardboard, nasty pizza that we got. And the chicken nuggets like you said, and not the Salisbury steak because there was green stuff in that.
I don't think we ever had Salisbury steak but then
in high school, the French fries Those were good. And then at breakfast, we had the no bake cookies. Those were awesome as well. That was my breakfast. But anyway, there's still room for improvement on school lunches, and even more so now, because we've made them healthier, and no kids will eat them. What? I'll talk about that at the end. So like I mentioned, it's weird that I picked this topic, because this school lunch reform thing that's now in the news, the Trump administration trying to pull back restrictions placed on it by Michelle Obama and stuff. This was not in the news when I wrote this, because this was actually supposed to be our episode for last week, which will be two weeks ago by the time this comes out, but then I got the flu, and then we went to do to Australia. So now there's new legislation trying to be pushed through basically saying that they need to relax the lunch standards, and it's a whole thing. So it's just a pure coincidence. I'll talk about that more at the end, too. So how did school lunches come to be though, I'm assuming that kids need to eat food while they're at school. Well, if you think about things like To Kill a Mockingbird, she talks about going home for lunch or having any other books around that time. They talked about, you know, having their lunch pail. And they never say we were given lunch by the school because they weren't given lunch by the school. In early America, kids were expected to pretty much go home for lunch. And if they had a really long walk to school, they bring a lunch pail with them and just eat there. But as immigration rose and child labor laws were tightened school, some more kids coming to school, and fewer of them had regular food access. In fact, in the 1870s, it was estimated that 12% of children were homeless, what 12% like if you have 100 kids, 12 of them don't have a place to live in 1817 1870s.
and a ton more we're not living in safe environments or had the money or ability to have food made at home. So even if you had a place to sleep, sleep, it doesn't necessarily know how to kitchen. So in 1894, Philadelphia began providing lunches for a penny and Boston also attempted a school lunch program around that time. charitable organizations were heavily involved early on With them serving about 5500 children in Boston, Boston started preparing lunches in a centralized kitchen. But by 1910 Home Ec classes actually took this over.
Another thing that we don't have anymore
we still do. It's called Family and Consumer Sciences now oh facts mean that every place has it just like not every place has theater band anymore, but it's still around. It was still called home back when I was a kid though. And they took it over three days a week with milk and sandwiches server the other two days, these earliest lunch programs. The lunch items on one sample school menu ran from one cent for a crust. I do many crust not a globe, a piece of bread and actual just crust. five cents for us sliced ham sandwich or baked beans and most desserts. Celery and nut salad and creamed eggs. Were also on the list. Oh yeah, I had to add those because they sound so gross. Like
a celery and nut salad. creamed eggs. Yeah. Like egg salad. Maybe.
I mean, I don't like K salad. But But yes, everything like the Salton Sea, everything ran from about one cent to five cents. In 1903. Someone wrote an article in which they said providing school lunches would help improve the physical health of kids in urban areas. Because, you know, kids in urban areas are not getting the love and support that they can get in rural areas.
Kids in urban areas aren't having to wake up at five in the morning to try and feed cows and avoid farm equipment.
Yeah, it's one of the it goes back to that thing that keeps popping up that urban areas are what causes the problems not, you know, poverty. No, it's there's just more people in urban areas. There's the exact same density of assholes in rural areas. Yep. And actually though the success of the school lunch programs in Philadelphia and Boston back this up, kids were physically healthier, they were more alert, they were more able to learn, which is real kids need to eat at lunch.
Okay, think about how hungry I get, and I am not a child.
Yeah, and you always have access to
access to food. It just sometimes I forget to eat me. I'm too busy adult with busy adult problems, and then they get mad about stuff.
And then I ask you why you're so grumpy. And you go, I'm not grumpy. And I asked you to eaten today and you go, but I've had students who come in for lunch on Monday and have not eaten since lunch on Friday, which is why I'm so pumped up about this whole topic. Of course, not all students were in urban areas, and there were hungry kids in rural areas to no matter what they tried to say their kids without access to healthy food in rural and even farming communities. The schools also did not have the charitable backing or large kitchens of urban schools because there are fewer people and therefore fewer resources, stop bagging on urban areas. So the teachers cooked food on top of their stoves that heated the classroom so they would have their stove heat and stuff up and they would have like just a pot of something on it on top of it that would heat up throughout the day. In Wisconsin kids what brought liquidy kind of food like you know, oatmeal and stuff in pint jars and the food then was just set on top of it so they could have a warm meal for lunch instead of a cold meal from Lunch eat so if they brought their own food now it was warm and you'll feel a little bit fuller when the food is warm. You do also have a very nice smile because he's thinking about thinking
about warm oatmeal like oatmeal. Oatmeal is my comfort food. It's like if it's snowy, I want a bowl of oatmeal. I
can't make oatmeal. How can you not make oatmeal? No easy, easiest thing I just put in
an amount of oats and an hour of water throw in the microwave, add some milk and butter and sugar. Does
the instructions say and it explodes every time but somehow is also not cooked. And I started I thought all the directions Austin? What? stand it. Parent Teacher groups showed up and started donating items that would make for better cooking serving and they become a major catalyst for the program's growth in the 1920s. See, Austin the Jazz Age not entirely terrible
when it's gonna get terrible. This is the star of the 20s what happened at
the end of the 20s
Oh, it's probably the same.
No It gets better.
Okay, so Oh, nevermind. Okay, fine. The judges Jazz Age. Was it all bad? Are you happy? Yeah,
kids were starving less stupid kids. Now we're back to the roaring 20s. Again all back to the roaring 20s are you gonna do?
I'll be fine.
One of these days I'm gonna plot a flapper dress and I'll see if you go into conniptions. Despite the absolute proof that wealth fed students were and are better focused, better behaved and healthier. school boards didn't want to deal with this crap. Kinda like today, when they're harshly penalizing families who can't afford their lunch bills, and allowing students who have debts to have literal fucking stamps put on their bodies, saying that they didn't pay they actually big ass stamps on their hand saying non payer or debt, and then they are given a cold cheese sandwich and a juice for lunch and their actual lunch that they picked up was thrown away. Wow, that's awful. Or they're also places where kids if they have a school lunch that aren't allowed to go to participate in sports, or other events. They're not allowed had to go to prom. They're not allowed to do the things like there was one kid who was like I was on the basketball team. My family can't afford my lunches. And now I can't go to college because I was going towards a basketball scholarship because they couldn't afford his lunch. So now he can't go to college, because school boards consider their profits. And these are supposed to be nonprofit, more important than these kids abilities to thrive in education. And it's disgusting to me that millionaires are having to go to school districts and make these donations to cut pay off old school lunch at lunch is like that just happened who was an athlete? Maybe there was an
athlete who paid off all the school lunch debt. It was I think it was in California.
Yeah, I remember it was in California. It might have been just a millionaire guy though. I don't know. But that shouldn't be a thing. The lunches should just be free. Yeah, like we pay enough in taxes.
Oh, and everyone who says, Well, what about the rich kids who can afford lunch? I can't believe want to give these rich kids a free lunch.
Absolutely do suck it the fuck up. And also they're still allowed to bring the rich kid lunch then we have caviar or whatever but it says what's a
thank you bring their caviar, their champagne for lunch. Because I know those those toddlers and their champagne lunches.
I don't get that whole thing is like, Oh, you want the rich kids? I want all kids to have equal access to everything. Yes.
Yeah. It's like, yeah, give them the free lunch. Like
give them the free lunch, give them the free health care. I don't care if they're rich. They deserve health care their children. Yeah, same thing with college, I don't care if they're rich. If they want to go to private college, they can go to private college and pay for it. Anyway, so they didn't want to pay for it. And since governments were not taking on the issue to guarantee support, the school board's didn't want to put the money behind it largely because and this makes sense. They knew they would have to eventually add a dining room and or a kitchen. Yeah, I get that. until this point students had been eating at their desks. In fact, our parents probably did eat at their desks were at least part of our education. This actually still happens though, where kids go back to their classrooms and either their desk especially if their school provides something for everybody at breakfast time, which I've worked in schools where every kid in the school got a free breakfast. It had mold in it once I'm still angry, like literal mold inside the food. Yeah, but they came back to the classrooms to eat it because they couldn't stagger the breakfast time obviously can't have staggered breakfast times that would lead into lunch times. a good deal of food, however, was still donated by the government and it was surplus surplus food. Hence the whole government cheese thing that still joked about today. I actually don't know if we have government cheese that sold them cafeteria schools.
I don't care. I remember like the cheese sticks. You could like ball them up because they were basically like Silly Putty
bounced Oh, in high school. One of my friends dropped their pizza one of those Mexican pizza. Yeah. And it bounced it bounced several times a pizza. Yeah. Still good though. Not that one. We didn't need it.
So this is just like the agricultural like subsidy buying that just like there's like we grow a lot of corn this year. So the government and then they sell to the schools? Yeah, okay.
Um, it's actually donated to the schools donate they had surplus in the first year. of that program. I couldn't find the year 60,000 schools in 20 states got donated food by 1936. So we're after the Jazz Age now. The Department of Agriculture stated that they were feeding 350,000 kids every day by 1940 to 78,851 schools and over 5 million children are eating school lunches are about one third of schools and one fourth of children in schools. So see they were getting better. Yeah. And it started when the Jazz Age. It wasn't until 1946 that so this was after all, the kids are already dead from the depression, so it doesn't matter. Anyway, President Truman signed the National School Lunch act. It spelled out that food must be nutritious and in adequate supply, and most importantly, that the lunches were nonprofit, nonprofit. You're not making money off these lunches, school boards stop shaming the kids. How did we end up with cafeterias now though? Because before they're eating in their in their classrooms, and there may have been a central kitchen somewhere. Well, the first cafeteria I don't mean so. cafeteria cafeteria opened in the 1880s serving adult men and it was self service. Samuel and William child's later open several restaurants following that pattern we expect in modern school cafeteria, they got the tray they push it along, they get to choose things from thing. Those are popular across America, California really loved them and was ultimately called the cafeteria belt. And the food in these places was really similar to school cafeteria food burgers, boiled vegetables and jello.
Oh, the jello I loved
the jello until I started throwing fucking fruit in it.
Oh God, I only liked it when there was fruit. Otherwise, it was just like this weird cube of green.
See Sometimes though, sometimes the grape came out. Sometimes there was grape jello. So so far, the story sounds pretty nice though. People are worried about kids starting to feed them out of the goodness of their heart hearts makes they're healthy and able to learn but like everything else, this is not the whole story. Are you ready for the nefarious reasons behind feedings children because there is a dark side to feeding children. Are we fattening
the up for alien
overlords to eat them. Only if you ask the people arguing against changing the healthy. I'll get to that. Right. As I mentioned a big part of the reason we needed this was increasing immigration.
Oh, I see where this is going. I don't like this.
Immigrants eat food that has flavor. Americans eat food that does not have flavor. Well,
whoa. Corn is a flavor. Just ask anyone in the Midwest. You don't like corn, hate corn.
school lunches became a way to and I quote, eat democracy. Part of it was to make sure that the students were equal in the food they were served. That's fair. You know, all the kids have access to the exact same food. I get that but mostly it was to make kids acclimate and adjust to their behaviors to act more like Americans. So you know, you got the kid who comes in and he's from Mexico. He's an he has, you know, spices and his foods. Well, we don't want that we want him to look like an American so he's got to eat this bland as boiled cabbage. In 1947, a priest named john VYS and a USKS said that's just vis now skilless Vincent said that children were no longer immigrants but Americans as they had to eat this food together and only speak English in schools. They were no longer from Lithuania. It was where his community was there no longer Lithuanian. They don't have that culture anymore. They're just Americans now. Gross,
but American doesn't have culture. Literally. We've stolen everything that's fun about this country.
Yeah, even our bland as food is British, but we don't want to admit it.
Yeah, I like British food.
Now we get to the question everybody always asks, Is ketchup a vegetable?
You know what? I know. It's a little early for questions, but I'm going to say no, ketchup is not a vegetable.
Remember, this became a popular statement when Michelle Obama started forcing evil vegetables on children. Apparently she said that ketchup was a vegetable. Remember that? Yeah. Do you remember being in school ourselves and having them say oh, you have this ketchup ketchup the vegetable according to the government. Yeah. So that was that when we were kids to this was not something Michelle Obama said this was this came into effect with Reagan. God
He never actually said the phrase ketchup is a vegetable in the 1982 recession However, he signed off on catch up being reclassified as a vegetable in order to cut costs on school lunches, which is obviously the most important place to cut costs just like PBS.
Yeah, because Okay, they need nutritious so we just made ketchup a vegetable which somehow makes ketchup more nutritious
Yeah, catch up. Okay. Tomatoes are one of the most highest most sugar content fruits and then you add sugar to it to get catch up. Yeah, I love catch up but it's not healthy. Oh my god.
Ketchup was like the best thing about school lunches.
Now obviously this got government to the public and it was called catch up gate.
Everything's a game. Now
and the proposal was withdrawn and the USDA beget USDA began offer versus serve, whereas children had to be offered milk, red meat and two fruits or vegetables. But students could refuse up to two of these different items. Because they could refuse both fruits and vegetables. But again, they weren't too happy about this because they saw this is just part of Reagan's war against the poor, because you could afford to buy additional food, then it was fine. But now you know ketchup is vegetable if you're poor. So like, kids, tomatoes are fruit, not a vegetable. Just a heads up heads up on that one. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff that's weirdly fruit and weirdly, vegetables.
Yeah, I think it's like what cucumbers are technically a fruit
cucumbers. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, pumpkins are fruit. pumpkins are a fruit today. The National School Lunch act is still in effect. And it has some tweaks. Of course, it's been, you know, six years in 2010. The program was updated for the first time in over 30 years, called the healthy hunger free Kids Act because we're keeping things nice Nice and snappy. This program doesn't just adjust address school lunches, but also summer programs and food services for mothers and children and other groups. So if you live really anywhere, you'll see school lunch programs advertised over the summers, kids can come and eat lunch and they don't check ID they don't ask you to bring your tax forms. It's just they assume that if you bring your kid it's because they need something to eat. Oh, yeah, it's um, it's a great program
where I work actually had something that was this over the summer and they've had it for like last five years. It's just every day during like the summer, you can come into the library and a group provides lunch for you. It's all we don't ask questions, you just get lunch.
And that's the way it should be. They should we shouldn't. And that goes back to as well. Why every school lunch should be free because the system for getting the free and reduced lunch is very confusing, especially if English is not your first language you sign one thing wrong, you forget one piece of paper you don't get approved. If your circumstances changed, it can take weeks or months to get approved. And so in that time When you get that school lunch that that's when your kid gets kicked off the basketball team and doesn't get to go to college anymore. So just make the goddamn lunches free if you want to have an all a cart place that they pay for, go for it. Go for it have that standard school lunch be free and have the ala carte stuff be paid for done and done. Especially now they don't have to pay for school lunches anymore, the bell curve will pay for the whole damn thing because they want those french fries. Anyway, the healthy hunger free kids it's made that said it stated that all bread and other grain items must be 50% or more whole grain or have whole grain as its first ingredient. And there's a stronger emphasis on fruit vegetables and proteins because you know we didn't have fruit vegetables or proteins in our lunches growing up. Oh no, we're all dead now as a result, so we all died. Like seriously we had those nasty ass green beans. We had all these I don't understand how this really changes things other than they lowered the sodium level and made the food tastes worse. Yeah, because like low they lowered the sugar too. And now it's sugar free whole grain donut shit. Oh
yeah. Would you want to eat this No, no. I mean, I would but you know,
now I've actually seen the food they get now. While the pizza is slightly less greasy it largely looks the same except with less seasoning and we didn't have a shit ton of seasoning to begin with. Okay,
how can you have less than zero seasoning?
I think they suck it out somehow. Like there's no salt and things that definitely need salt like French fries. But we also serve walking tacos, which are cut in half bags of Doritos with taco shit on top of the Doritos. That's awesome. Oh, yeah, it's awesome. But also healthy, hunger free Kids Act.
Yeah, that sounds amazing that I realized, Oh, that's basically a giant bag of sodium. Which sounds great to me. But do you eat so much salt in your food like I do. I've been like cooking to fit your tastes, and it's like, oh, she's so salty.
So what has happened since the healthy hunger free Kids Act is that while more fruits and vegetables are required, the rest hasn't really changed, except perhaps even more expensive because the recipes and the engineering To make the food had to be tweaked, it is more expensive to make these foods now
so you're getting basically worse food for more money.
Yes, in an attempt to get kids to eat after all, it's essential to make the food appealing. And as at one like there was purple fucking ketchup to
make it more appealing to kids. Oh gross.
I tried it I tried the green ketchup to it did not taste good. It tastes
exactly the same. It just looked at it tasted
like food dye. As the director of culinary and nutrition services for the Minneapolis Public Schools put it now they get whole grain donuts, whoop dee doo. Basically the food looks like things they want, but don't taste like it so so much but gets thrown away. They will eat they will takes to take a bite thrown away or they won't eat any. I've seen entire trays go in the trash because they know that they don't want any of it and they're just gonna spend the rest of the day hungry. The current guidelines have also pulled back and increasing availability of ethnic food. So back when we had these fewer restrictions, we weren't careful trying to get Chinese food up lunch or Indian food it looks interesting things that presented them to other cultures. They can't serve jasmine rice now what you deserve jasmine rice because it because it has a doesn't have the grain level or some shit. I don't know
Can I at least her body rice?
I don't know. And most non American foods have like buttery sauces. So those are almost universally banned. And it's worth noting that kids from those cultures are far less obese even if they live in America.
It's because of the soda and oh, that's scary. So at NPR the other day, apparently, you know how like Philip Morris was marketing like menthol cigarettes to low income areas, and minorities. When they bought Kraft Foods and like all these were just readers, they started marketing, low cost high sugary drinks to minorities the exact same way. And that's basically like a big cause of the obesity epidemic in America was marketing by Philip Morris. He's in the same strategy they did to give everybody cancer,
cancer and diabetes and Man,
yeah, so Philip Morris is what's wrong with him? Well, one of the things that's wrong with America, there's lots of things wrong with America.
So the New York Times draws a great comparison between our school lunches and other countries. And I don't want to play dry so I am reading this verbatim from the New York Times who wrote it The New York Times. Consider that in France, where the childhood obesity rate is the lowest in the Western world, a typical for course lunch, cucumber salad with vinaigrette lasagna or salmon lasagna with spinach fondue with bad get for dipping and fruit compote dessert would probably not passed muster under the healthy hunger free Kids Act because of the refined grains, fat, salt and calories. Norwood the weekly piece of dark chocolate cake. By comparison, a federally approved school school lunch of the United States is a quote reformulated Philly cheesesteak sandwich low fat, low salt, processed cheese, and lean mystery meat on a lean on a whole grain bun with steamed greens. Beans potato wedge and can peaches and an apple students often have less than 20 minutes to eat before returning to class? Well, French children may have as long as two hours to eat and socialize. So in France, they get a well balanced if quote unquote unhealthy by our standards meal, they get enough time to get the socialization out of their system. And they even have time for the food to process. And as I understand that they often do a lot of the serving and cleaning up themselves. We get 30 minutes of mystery meet. The School Nutrition Association said that the financial hit taken was huge and detrimental and that parents even reported that they did not follow these Oh, this is still New York Times. They do not follow the standards in their own homes, meaning that kids may be more looking forward to an after school snack than any part of lunchtime other than the opportunity to socialize. That's my part I think. Do not get me started on the schools that have assigned lunch seats. You don't get a chance to socialize all day and then you go to lunch and you don't get to sit with your friends. I was so badly bullied in school. That was the one time A day where I didn't get bullied because I got to sit with my friends who would tell her kids to fuck off assigning these lunches saying it's to improve socialization. Yeah, for me, it would have been just another attempt to get another time to get bullied. The worst of my bullying happened during lunch from other tables. So basically, they're taking out another opportunity to socialize when they do that, no chance to get away from your friends from the non friends, things like that. Anyway, back to that 20 to 30 minutes to eat. Wendy take states that it takes 20 minutes from the time you start eating to the time you start to feel full, which sounds great until you remember that 20 minutes is the total amount of lunchtime not the amount of eating time there were times when I was a kid where I had literally five minutes to eat to this day. I eat lunch really fast. I all meals really fast. Because there's a part of my brain that goes Okay, we got to get through this we got to get through this. This is not uncommon. Even today. As schools get fuller school lunch lines get longer and that cuts into eating time. cutting into time is also cleanup time when students are reasonably expected to clean their own played some I've done tables now in 2002. This is an old study but I've spent years in the classroom things have not changed. The Journal of Child Nutrition and management found that the average eating time for elementary school students is the amount of time it actually spent putting food into their mouth. Elementary get grades K through five, seven to 10 minutes 10 minutes was the highest for any grade level out of that lunchtime the highest food eat the highest amount of eating was 10 minutes. Obviously things like socializing factor in those Remember kids get almost no socialization time in school even less now than in 2002. I mean, I had to recesses for a while as a kid and now they're lucky if they get 110 minute recess. So we got to get those kids to those test scores up despite the fact that all evidence shows that a hungry kid that had but it's been well socialized is going to do better.
Yeah. Well, I mean, facts have nothing to do with policy.
So yeah, lunch eating time range from five to 10 minutes overall, high schoolers eat about five minutes that they would eat and also remember, we Our lunches had 750 kids in them at lunch. Yeah. And High School. Five minutes seems good.
Okay. Okay. I had a, basically an orchestra independent study that was right next to one of the lines. It wasn't like the cheap line is expensive line. But I went to that one anyway. Because when that class got out, I could get to that line and actually get food and have time to eat and come hang out with me and come hang out with you. That was like, that was my motivation. I didn't want to go get the healthy lunch. I got the lunch that I could get quickly and sit down and actually eat
Yeah, I never went to the healthy lunch line. And it wasn't because I didn't like healthy food. It's because there wasn't time.
Yeah, I would get like a slice of Domino's Pizza.
God Yeah, the Domino's Pizza. Yeah. Or there was the ala carte line that if you got there in time, it was really fast. I had nothing but amazing sugary food and chicken sandwiches. Yeah, God those chicken sandwich bombs but spicy chicken sandwich. All those were so good.
Yeah, it just it was like it was time. That was my factor in lunch was time.
Yeah, so another interesting factor. Is that there are worries that the current healthy, healthy, healthy school lunch programs might be contributing to binge eating habits or disorders? Yeah, there is an underlying shame in the whole thing. There are good foods, there are bad foods, you are a bad person if you eat these foods, that's the whole bystander effect. You might actually be saying, you might not actually say, you know, chocolate chip cookies, you're a bad person if you eat them, but that is the message of chocolate chip cookies are bad.
So are you making a good choice? If you're eating a chocolate chip cookie?
Yeah. Are you making a good choice right now? Are you sure you want to eat a second one? That's a shaming culture that we brought on to this and just by advertising it the way we are to kids. We are bringing that shame into the classroom. I mean,
everything is shaming culture. That's just that's what it is now. Yeah, that's what the internet's done to us.
So kids might feel the need to hide their snacks and eat them to access when no one is watching. So cheat day, yeah, cheat day, like hiding candy in their room, and eating it so that
having it in your pajama pocket but then your wife steals
it. I've worked with kids who have eating disorders bingeing pretty not majority, but a good amount of time leads to purging, which means possibly bulimia, both because of a fear of fact, which we are reinforcing in schools by having required weigh ins in your gym class. And having your BMI sent home saying that your kid is obese and you need to fix it. BMI is bullshit. Do not listen to it. And because of the built guilt replacing on certain foods mean we still say you are what you eat. And we're saying chocolate chip cookies are bad you are eating chocolate cookies. Finish that analogy. We also have the issue of telling kids they have to clean their plates before they can leave lunch. This is a real thing. You are not allowed to leave lunch unless you're playing. I was okay.
I was raised on the clean plate thing don't want to waste food. And it's stupid.
And this has resulted in kids being forced to drink milk when they're lactose and tolerant. eat gluten when they have celiac disease, or eat or consume other things they might be intolerant to are allergic to Because while we have this policy, so you have to do it so kids are getting sick. And also this this is a terrible way to get kids to learn to appreciate healthy foods because we're punishing them with by using them. Not only are you yelling at them for not eating them, they also are missing recess or getting written up for going back to class late there you are making them resent and have a trauma attached to vegetables. This is not a good idea.
I've got some vegetable related trauma, like when I opened the freezer and a bag of peas hit me in the forehead.
Can't remember anything from before that day. I have amnesia now.
I need to be hitting the head by another Mega mpgs I need to hit the head by another bag of peas of Gilligan's Island Tommy require us to buy peas and frozen peas. Yeah,
we like vegetable lead a lot of vegetables.
We I like Dude, pretty much any vegetable if you just roasted in the oven with some olive oil, salt, pepper and garlic. It's good.
Oh my God, His asparagus is the best. Yep. So this ties into the current USDA proposal. I told you I'd come back I went to their website site, it looks like it wasn't even supposed to be made public. It's taken down. But it's too late guys, everybody seen it. The most basic description of the proposal is that schools will have more discretion over the number of vegetables they have to offer. So it's another thing to offer for vegetables, they would have Dr. to let's say, I'll tell you right now, guys, schools are not following these rules. They can't afford it. They're also supposed to give kids more all cart opportunities. So you can go and order things all a cart. Now, I've worked in schools that have all the cart options, you have to get the main meal all a cart can be gotten afterwards. And usually you have to eat in part of your main meal first, not always. So it's not like kids are going to typically be allowed to go straight to the all heartline you'll still have to get the fucking vegetables anyway. So they're really worried that kids are going to eat fries and pizza instead of the normal food or not eating the normal food right now. They're throwing it away, like entire trees are being thrown away because for some reason, there are schools that have implemented this, but it's not universal, it should be foods that are not you know, mushy food, like apples are fine or like milk. Some schools have a table out there, it's like you don't want to eat it, put it here, someone else can grab it. It's a great system for kids that are hungry later in the day, or who might need to sneak something home. Most schools don't implement that because we don't want bags in the classroom, Mike. So you're going to throw away thousands of dollars worth of food every day, that could go to a hungry child, so you don't get a chance. Maybe you should just clean the school better. So we're looking at this proposal. Basically, they're afraid that kids are going to grab more crap and not eat their vegetables. Having more vegetable choice is not forcing them to eat their vegetables. I'm just fucking saying Colin Schwartz of the Center for Public Interest for the Center for Science and public interest said the healthy, hunger free Kids Act of 2010 has been called one of the most important obesity prevention achievements in recent decades. And then he gets mad because the Trump administration wants to pull it back. I'm mad that I agree with something that Trump administration
it hurts because every time it's like, oh shit, Get a good idea. I agree with this, it makes me wonder if I'm wrong.
In fairness, I've not read the proposal because they took it down, maybe I will violently disagree with it. But on the surface, it's something that will make kids eat their lunch. Get kids who have food shortages at home calories so they can survive a little longer. take away some of the shame that comes from eating. So we're not going to be raising up more kids with eating disorders. I fail to see the problem unless it's unless we say all foods must have high hosts sodium and fat. That's where the problem is. The fact is, we can't prove anything about the hunger healthy kids at having any direct cause on anything other than more food being thrown away. We know for a fact more food is being thrown away. So it is not one of the most important obesity prevention achievements in recent years. Especially because according to the state of childhood obesity, obesity rates are still going up. So if we want to say that this is the reason things are changing, cool, it's getting worse. So that is the history of school lunches. Filled with the Bunch of my colorful opinions.
you have a lot to watch and
I cut stuff out see your books?
I'm glad I picked a short one this week. super glad. Yeah, we're like an hour seven of this.
Will This Be On the Test? Okay.
school lunches became began because of a rising immigrant population and stricter child labor laws. Yes, teachers would heat up food and stoves in their classrooms why that involves
old one room schoolhouses, and that's always going to be on the test.
The food was intended to make kids forget about their own cultures know. The current program makes food taste worse, even though it is healthier to the point where nutrition professionals doubt its usefulness.
No, because that would show that they're doing something wrong and you cannot show weakness.
And then the most important question, Will This Be On the Test the fact that BMI is bullshit?
That really should be on the test. Really. It's like insurance companies are really the only ones pushing for it. Now. I doctors,
every doctor I've had has been like I want to take this off. This is horrible because yeah, it doesn't factor in anything other than heightmap
salutely arbitrary beyond belief, it's a good like, very vague general. Like if you're looking for a wide statistic across the population tool, not an individual diagnostic tool
that's like most athletes will be in the overweight to obese category just because of their high muscle tone. And then most people who are thin will be underweight or dangerous and underweight. Even if they can't do anything about it. Most people who are thin do not have dangerous eating habits. So that is history school lunches. What is something you learned?
I learned that for a while lunches were free, and also that Reagan was the one that ruined lunch and made ketchup a vegetable
that was Reagan. Fucking Reagan
while he was too busy eating his jelly beans. It's true, God. Well, this one's a cherry one. So it's a fruit.
Well, Martha. I don't think his wife was named Martha. Nancy, Nancy. Yeah, well, Nancy, I think that this ketchup is definitely a vegetable. You can see it's got Tomato on the label, like yes, Ronnie. Now go eat your jelly beans. Well I can start consult my astrologer about how to handle this middle east situation.
We should really just do an episode on Reagan. I don't want to I don't know much about him either. But he was he had old timers.
He just like it's like Reagan was a very charismatic wrong idea machine. It's like everything he did in hindsight, just fucked up royal.
So are you gonna do what I learned? What did you learn? I learned about the van community I'm gonna go live in god damn it I knew
I was looking at this is like, Okay, this is cool. This is interesting. But God damn it. This is gonna ruin my life and I was right. Drink your wine. Maybe you'll forget this. Or open the refrigerator. Maybe get hit with a bag of peas.
I'm taller than you the peas won't hit me in the head. You are taller than I've actually grown.
How I think maybe you're not as beaten down by life because you're married to such a wonderful man out What are you doing? Put candy in my ear. You put it that yo you put it before in my ear,
that's a force. I went to the doctor and I was like, Hey x, I noticed they had my height wrong by three inches. They said I was five, four and I'm five seven, which affects my BMI for my insurance company. So I was like, Hey, can you redo my height? And they did. I been five sevens. I was 16. And now when you go to the doctors, they just believe you when you say your height, I was five, seven and three quarters. I was very excited about those.
So Austin, where can people find us
why they can find us at on the test pod on Twitter. At on the twist pop on the test pod on Instagram at all the test pod on Facebook and also at Believe it or not on the test pod calm for our own website.
And please tell your friends tell people to listen to us sneak on to their phones and subscribe without their permission. And please please please give us a like a rating a review on Apple podcasts on Stitcher, whatever program you're listening to. It allows you to give a ranking your You please let it get us on there. Give us on there.
I'm telling what if we get if we get 100 reviews on iTunes, I say we do a review of a movie. Maybe one of those movies about history that got lots stuff wrong like the patriot.
Okay hundred reviews we'll do something 500
reviews we'll do a fun thing like a like a movie review. Okay, that covers everything
is everything. Our next one will be in February and our next one will also be Episode 20 which means we'll have been doing this for five months. Wow. Please listen to us. We are sad and desperate.
This is the only thing we've got going for us, man, our muscles are failing.
l. I mean our hustle of being like, you know, sword swallowers really is not working out because we're both afraid of swallowing the sword.
And I tried fire juggling and like we've got scorch marks all over our ceiling. I should have been doing that outside. I really
should have. Especially not my closet which has a half ceiling. Hey,
I figured if I could do it in there, I could do it anywhere.
Could you do it in there, though. Well, until next time,
Will This Be On the Test 1:07:02
You don't You're not the boss of me. You can't tell me what to do.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai